We have a new 5 week old son and my wife wants to be a stay at home mom. I agree that ONE of us needs to be at home with the baby, but my wife is in a wheelchair and I feel she is unable to take care of a real child.
2006-09-29 05:10:57 · 41 answers · asked by Dialup, Avatar, Jones!™ 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
is your wife in a wheelchair because they tried aborting her just like your son is in a wheelchair because you tried aborting him....so let me take roll
you have a 17 year old son
a 5 year old
a 6 mon year old
and now a 5 week old
i may be missing one
2006-09-29 18:12:56 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.♥ Krasinski 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it comes down to finances and how mobile your wife is. If you have the better paying job than she should stay at home. The baby is not running around yet so if your wife can use her arms she can handle her child. The house may need some modifications for her to better care for the baby such as a lower crib and changing table.
I would give your wife a chance, you are both new at this. If you have family near by maybe they can help lighten the load in the beginning.
Your wife has had to make adjustments with a wheelchair already so making adjustments to care for a baby shouldn't be impossible.
Have an open mind.
Congratulations and good luck.
2006-09-29 05:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the reason why your wife is in a wheelchair, and if she is capable of taking care of a baby. I know having a fully functioning body, it's tough sometimes to keep up with a baby so I could see how a wheelchair could make that hard. There are pros and cons to having your child at home, and it sounds great to get to be with your child full time 24/7, but I'd say in your case neither of you should stay home with the baby. Your child will gain so much by being around other children at a day care or private sitter that has other kids around. My son is 2 1/2 and there are many days that my husband and I wish we were at home with him, but then when he learns so much from his sitter and other kids around him, we know that this is the best for everyone.
2006-09-29 05:55:51 · answer #3 · answered by Emjay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I noticed you wrote "real child". Has your wife had experience working with a virtual baby? I work in a high school, and we have an elective course called child care.
For one week, the students must carry around and take care of a perfectly anatomically correct baby doll who cries, pees, and poops. The dolls weigh approximately 7 lbs, the average weight of a newborn. If she has this experience, then she'll do just fine at home with a real baby physically. There are always going to be some concerns with a woman in a wheelchair, and crawling babies. But she is a woman, and has the God given gift of giving birth. Let her be the mom God made her to be. There are always assisted living professionals out there to help if needed. God bless you and your wife.
2006-09-29 06:16:18 · answer #4 · answered by sory I offended 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How inconsiderate can you be?? Just because your wife is in a wheelchair does not make her any less capable of taking care of your son. She was capable of carrying your son for 9 months. What she needs is to be given the chance to try and be a stay at home mom. Just sit down and write out a plan of action dealing with everything from diaper changing to she'd contact if something God forbid did go wrong. If you have friends and family who can stop by daily to just lend a hand for a little while that might put your mind at ease also.
She needs your love and support NOT your criticism.
2006-09-29 05:25:35 · answer #5 · answered by denise and family 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As opposed to a fake one? LOL! Anyway, unless her hands cannot be used then there isn't a reason she can't do it. Have you thought about having a trusted family come over while she gives it a try, just incase someone is needed? This way your wife isn't threatened by it and if she really does need someone she can ask? The best thing she could learn is she can handle it. Let her give it a try. Mom's hate not being able to take care of their children so don't take that away from her unless it's necessary. She might surprise you! There are bassenets on wheels to help in moving baby through the house and you only need hands to burb, feed, hug, and changes diapers. Think about it first. That's all I'm saying.
2006-09-29 05:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by Baby girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Does your wife know you feel like this?
I am actually amazed you would think or say that. She is in a wheelchair, so she can't walk. I am assuming that is the only problem, and last time I checked you didn't have to walk to raise a child. It may be a little harder on her than on someone who can walk, but I'm pretty sure her whole life has more struggles. If she thought she couldn't do it, she probabally wouldn't have had the baby in the first place!
2006-09-29 05:17:11 · answer #7 · answered by butterfliesbrown 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by a "real" child? Have you been using a doll to play the part of your baby for the last five weeks? Not having use of one's legs does not preclude someone from caring for an infant. I've see women with no legs and even women with no arms care for their children. She may need a little help at first, so line up some family support. And, hey, how about you give her your support too? That would be great!
2006-09-29 05:20:19 · answer #8 · answered by Barbara G 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're kidding, right? You trusted her enough to have a baby with her, you're trusting she will be able to help you raise that child. I'm sure your wife is fully capable of taking care of your child. Test it for a few weeks. Have her stay home for the first few weeks (most women use maternity leave anyway). If you feel your son is not safe, talk to your wife about it. My guess is your wife will do a fine job. Have a little faith in her.
2006-09-29 05:13:51 · answer #9 · answered by teeney1116 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That is really mean she can do what ever you can do it might be A little harder for her but if she wants to take care of her child who are you to say she is unable she was able to give birth and to have sex with you wasn't she. Maybe your jealous and you want to stay home why not just tell her that instead of saying she can't do it. Who every makes the most income should go to work.
2006-09-29 06:05:56 · answer #10 · answered by honeygirland 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get a nanny to take care of the baby after you wife goes back in a year right. If your baby is only 5 weeks you have plenty of time to think about it. Who makes more money? Live in nanny's are not that expensive, just make sure that you a criminal screen on them first.
2006-09-29 05:27:25 · answer #11 · answered by Crystal F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋