I have tried everything to get my fiancee to become more vocal during our lovemaking sessions. He just smiles alot and tells me how great it was afterwards. I want to hear it in his voice while we do it. How can I get him to not be so shy and tell me what he is feeling while he is feeling it?
2006-09-29 04:54:13 · 25 answers · asked by goldenlifev 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Typically, I am a screamer. I talk really loudly and I have been told by my landlord to keep it down because the neighbors can hear us having sex.
2006-09-29 04:57:58 · update #1
I've explained to him what a turnon it would be to hear him moan aloud what he was feeling but he can't bring himself to do it. So, I just watch. He has told me that it makes him uncomfortable to hear himself. Sometimes I can see him trying to put together the words but they never get out.
2006-09-29 05:01:10 · update #2
I am married to a man who has difficulty with it. Finally he started trying and it sounded so forced. I have figured out, if I talk to myself and say the things I want to hear, it works out better for all of us.
It didn't work for us... mainly because some people just aren't talkers.... my husband happens to be one of those...
But we did make some progress when I told him he couldn't touch me until he told me what he was going to do with me. Also, practicing phone sex with him helped a little... and he got a lot better at it.
2006-09-29 05:00:25 · answer #1 · answered by Willalee 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Be patient first of all, and nonjudgmental. Many men are raised to believe they are supposed to keep their feelings bottled up. Ask him "do you like this" or "how does this feel". I've never been very vocal in bed, I'm very shy and my lover likes it vocal. He likes to see and hear how good he is making me feel. And the phone sex idea is great except it's very difficult starting out. Rent some movies and watch them together. Let him know it's ok to be quiet and it's wonderful for you when he's vocal, but don't push too hard..patience really is a virtue.
2006-09-29 05:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by tnonilover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before sex try this: Both of you lay down and close your eyes. Have your fiancee tell you a story ... of course it is a sexy story and it has to be elaborate. It is a lot of fun to talk about our fantasies this way and will help your fiancee open up verbally. You may have to do it first to start the ball rolling and get him to get into it, but it is very fun. Something like I meet you in a bar and I am surrounded by other men who are talking with me. You walk up to me .... take it from there. Or: I get into an elevator with windows all around. I am all alone until the elevator stop at the 69th
Have fun with it and be elaborate. Use your imagination and your fantasies!
2006-09-29 05:31:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lori G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May sound crazy but tell him to pretend he is with someone else. Or if he can imagine this is a one-might-stand and he may never see you again so it doesn't matter what you think of how he acts, sound, or what he requests or does!! This coming from a guy, I think it will work. If he still has trouble try doing it in complete darkness where neither of you can see each other. then he won't be preoccupied with you seeing/watching him and how he preforms?
2006-09-29 05:30:26 · answer #4 · answered by Which 1's Pink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband was the same way when we first got married and when he saw my "wild side" he thought I was crazy, but now he has come around and isn't afraid to let out a loud moan here and there! Give it time he will come around...
ps. get him to do it, while you are on vacation or in a hotel where no one can hear you and if they did it wouldn't matter because you are never gonna see them again....he'll loosen up when he gets comfortable and just doesn't care anymore!!!
2006-09-29 05:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by YOUKNOWYOUWANNAKNOW 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a very visual and audible person, and I expect the same in my partner. I can understand why this is bothersome for you. Make eye contact at some point and say something along the lines as "**** me baby" or "I like it that way" or "give it to me baby" and see what his reaction is by his facial expressions... judge from his reaction whether or not to ask open ended questions like "you like it like that baby" .. "you want me to ride you" etc.
2006-09-29 05:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by sneakyfker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Push him up against a wall and start undressing him. Don't be gentle, but don't get too rough. You are going to have to drive him wild! Use your hands, mouth everything!!! Do things you don't normally do, and if you do everything, change the way you do it!! Do you deep throat him? That drives my husband insane! Especially if you hold it and lick his scrotum with your tongue! If that doesn't work - I don't know what to tell you! Good Luck!
2006-09-29 06:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by busymomof4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start asking him during the deed what he wants to do with you or tell him to do things to you that you want. Before: get him in the mood by telling him what you want when he is playful. Most guys are very careful because it not most girls cup of tea to talk dirty. Try getting some visual aids that shows him what you want. Enjoy
2006-09-29 05:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some of us make noise of one kind or another and some don't. In the service I never yelled or screamed during bayonet practice, I just went in for the kill quietly. I always caught hell from the sergeant for not making noise. I noticed that there were others just like me, too. All of God's chillums is different.
2006-09-29 05:08:43 · answer #9 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Fiancee? Problems now make PROBLEMS later. Unionjack07's answer is prob. your key. Watch some porn or invite a friend.
2006-09-29 05:20:31 · answer #10 · answered by weatherman28us 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋