My mom and dad split up Aug. something and my dad just got re-marred on the 1st of Sep. I talked to my mom and Her boyfriend has asked her to marry him and she has sed yes. I'm now living with my dad. I was planning on moving out and living with my mom but, when I herd that I changed my mind. I don't know I don't feel like I belong any where. Please help me I don't know what to do.
2006-09-29 04:47:38 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Believe it or not, it is not as bad as it seems. I've been there, folks get divorced, re-marry other people a short time later and you are left feeling like you don't fit into their lives anymore. But you do, it is just different now. The best advice I can give is to open your mind and your heart and accept that life is different now and choose to make the best of it. Believe me, your parents love you, that has not changed and never will. Regardless of whether you live with your mother or your father, there will be some challenging times and adjustments. Life is not only different for you now, it is for them as well and their new spouses. Talk to them. Tell them what you are feeling and come up with a family plan together. They will not know what to do for you unless you tell them what is wrong.
2006-09-29 04:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Megan B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
both your mom and your dad love you very much. You need to keep in mind that though they aren't together anymore, they still need someone in their lives to fill that void. Do you want your mom or your dad to be alone forever? Have you tried to get to know the new wife to be or the new husband to be? You might find that you get along with them really well, then you will have two step parents that will love you too. I know how alone you must feel, but you really aren't. Two new people have been added to your life, embrace them. If you just can't shake the feeling, then maybe you could set up a time for you, your mom and your dad to get together and talk about it. As long as you have your parents, you will never be alone. Being a parent, I can tell you without hesitation, that your parents love you more than anything in this world, and if they knew you were hurting, the would help you through it.
2006-09-29 12:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't an easy situation, but what you are feeling, I think is somewhat normal of a child of divorce. There is a separation of something for you, that has taken the family you know and are used to, and replaced it to two separate entities with odd new people that act as parental figures that don't belong in the situation.
First I would recommend to realize that most families have their problems. You parents sound likt they did what they did for themselves, to ensure their own happiness. But it is likely that they didn't do it to you. Have you tried talking to them and explaining how you feel? Maybe you can talk to another family member, if you aren't comfortable talking to your parents head on. Keep open forms of communication with your family and try to talk to who you can in a non confrontational or aggresive manner.
Remember that parents don't always make the best choices and it is hard for them too to choose between keeping a marriage together, and being unhappy. Their actions have no reflection on you, and you need to choose whichever household you feel the most comfortable with. Just because your parents are remarrying doesn't mean they are replacing you or anything of the sort.
Hang in there and good luck with your decision.
:)
2006-09-29 12:13:29 · answer #3 · answered by Willalee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are but this is ONLY my opinion, apparently they BOTH had other relationships before the decision to split.
This is the PROBLEM, you say for you. Then what is the SOLUTION?
Mom and dad are adults who have rights to make decisions, so this would not be your problem, because you did not cause this,it was not your decision Soooooooooooget into the solution; therphy,support groups,your age/gender activities that helps you , volunteer with less fortunate people than us..
I hope this help there are plentyof HEALTHY& REWARDING ways to get into a solution and NOT stay in (someone)the problem.
2006-09-29 12:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by kay_gaiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How's your relationship with your parents? Do you feel you can share with them what you just posted here? I'm sure they understand how tough things are for you right now, and they wish the best for you. Talk to them about how you feel. Your mom and dad might be moving on in their personal lives... But, believe me, you're still the most important part of their reality.
2006-09-29 12:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel as if you don't belong in either place, because both of them are more in love with their new mates, than they were with each other. It is also a new love for both of them, and new loves tend to be more electrifying at first, with all other relationships taking a greater second place, than otherwise would be the case.
Thus you are feeling a bit unloved, in the way, a third wheel, etc., which is not a pleasant feeling. However, realize they both still love you, and it will take time for those feelings to develop in their mates as well; just as it will take time for them to develop in you for them.
Be happy for them, and try to get along with what makes them happy in life also. Your day will come when you will have a mate of your own, and then you'll understand how it blinds us slightly to all other things in life.
2006-09-29 12:02:46 · answer #6 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i would love to hear you total side of the story, only because I am the mom in a quite similar situation...........Talk to your parents, please..........I would want to have that conversation with you if you were my child and I would listen to you, if your parents love you and value your opinion they will listen. Maybe they don't' know you have some questions about their new lives, and where you fit in them. They are humans looking for a connection with another person they can feel loved by, I know you love them, but they need a love on their level. I hope some of this makes sense to you and that it helps even a little, please go talk to them and be honest with your feelings, they may surprise you.
2006-09-29 12:14:22 · answer #7 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because they have remarried doesn't mean you don't belong. Go where you feel more comfortable if they live close to one another stay at both places from time to time. You should be happy they have found happiness again and you should try to take part in that. Also I am sure they wouldn't be complete without you and your support.
2006-09-29 11:53:45 · answer #8 · answered by mom02 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is hard to handle for everyone, especially the children. It also makes it a little more emotional that they both are getting remarried so soon. I suggest you asked to be place in counseling to talk about you feelings about this, it really will help. there are lots of places you can go that are not that expensive. hope this helps, good luck
2006-09-29 11:52:06 · answer #9 · answered by Indiana Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a problem if you're under 18.
I suggest stay with the one who is closer to your school. Parents may split up but try not to use their splitting as the reason you split from your friends in school.
You need friends almost as much as parents.
2006-09-29 11:55:54 · answer #10 · answered by Rusty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋