Do you get more attention with the first child???

Question

I have a 1 year old baby boy , and now i am 2 months pregnant and it seems like NO one cares not even my husband !!! My husband told me he already knows what it feels like to be a father so is he saying that he really just doesn't even care ??? I'm so confused

Answer 1

First I would like to congradulate you on embarking on the most precious gift that we can create. Being a mother is such an honorable thing, even if a women doesn't actually give birth to the child. With my own experience I did find that when I was pregnant with my first born son everybody was so into it. I received so much love, support and gifes, but when I was pregnant with my daughter not to much attention was placed at all. It was more of again and my son was 3 when I had my daughter. I wasn't even given a baby shower which real hurt. With my third pregnacy I was getting alot of attention but I believe that was because I was having twins. When I mentioned it to people why not with my daughter they said because my son was still young, and that the babies were so close together. With the twins everyone said it's because they were the first set of twins in the family. Since we also had two recent deaths in the family; we needed something to uplift us, and what's better way than to celebrate life. They also said that they were so concerned if the babies and I were going to be ok. I have also seen and heard many women say the samething, so I do believe it's true. I'm wondering maybe your husband is reacting this way because of the fact that his just getting use to being a father since your first son is just 1. You know men need alittle bit more time to adjust then we do. He could be worried if everything will be o.k with a new addition to the family. It could be part that you just went back to work after being on mat leave and now he needs to figure everything out for you both to be confortable when you take leave again. I think you need to just give him time; sit him down let him know everything will be ok, but don't take his manhood from him. Talk to him in a manner where he sees you have full trust in his judgement and you know you guys will figure it all out. Try maybe to work out a budget plan for the future, try to suggest to him maybe it's a good idea to put away some cushion money. I think one other important thing don't try to push these subjects or the new baby on him all the time, once he feels the baby's kicks I bet you any money his attitude will change.
Well good luck and congradulations again, let me know how everything works out and what your new bundle of joy is.

Answer 2

The question for you really needs to be, "How can you make sure you second child doesn't feel as if he gets less attention than the first."

Having said that, I know this sounds callous; but I've had times when someone is expecting a baby, and I get all excited and happy for them and thinking about how they're doing, etc. Then there's the "when are they going to the hospital" thing that someone who cares keeps in the back of their mind. Then there's the whole thing about seeing the baby, hearing about the delivery, etc. Its all very nice. What can happen, though, is if that same person does it all again a year later I've found I'm all "their-babied-out" because I've already devoted nine or more months or my mental time to thinking about them and their baby. It gets to a point where I have no more mental time left to spend on just this one person and the matter of their babies. If this person gave me four or five years I could probably get all wrapped up in their pregnancy again, but one year later is just too soon. If people didn't invest much emotional energy the first time they may not get "all babied out" by the time the first baby is born.

I think you're husband will care once the baby arrives. Until it does he just may not have much imagining to be doing.

I don't mean to seem mean or callous. Its just that there's something about having the whole business come around again this soon that makes people not think of it as such a big deal any longer. They still care, though. They just may not be ready to hear all the details of your visit to the obstetrician again.

Answer 3

I'm 15 wks now with baby number 2 and I feel the same way!! For me it's just as exciting, but I told my husband I heard the heartbeat and I felt the movement, and he was so non-challant about it, like he really didn't even care. We have our ultrasound scheduled on 10/23 and I called him at work when I found out so he could take off and he asked why??? I plainly told him because he was going to be there!!! But even our families are not as "concerned" this time around whereas last time they were always calling after every appt to see what happened and how am I feeling, etc. It's just weird to me. I'm excited with everyone whose close to me when they get pregnant whether its their first or their fourth. It's such a miracle and so exciting!

Answer 4

Honestly..no one really cares LOL. I'm pregnant with my 2nd. I do get "some" attention, but only because It's been 4 years since my last baby. It happens. No one really cared about my sister or sister in laws 2nd or 3rd pregnancies. Edited to add that my husband doesn't seem "as interested" in this pregnancy as he was the first, but he is happy.

Answer 5

With our first, my husband was more scared than anything. Now that we are getting close to our due date with our second, HE has the nesting instinct worse than I do. I may cry a lot, but he is jumping up and down with excitement. Don't get me wrong, some people just react differently to things. Some guys get more excited with the first than they do with the second and some dads are just scared at the first one, so they get more excited with the second. People are different. When youstart to really show, I bet he does become a little more enthusiastic about it. Congrtaulations and good luck!!!!!

Answer 6

You should receive special attention any time your with child, but I guess for some it is just a novelty. You need to tell your husband that he may already be a father but this is a different baby with a different personality etc. Its just as special, and this experience deserves just as much love....Congratulations mommy!

Answer 7

My husband and friend and family are very excited about our second child. But it is girl this time (the first a boy) and there are no girls in the family. Maybe if it is a girl he will act differently.

Congratulations!

Answer 8

Yes.

But don't worry, is normal, like the first thing of anything in your life.
first kiss, first girl/boy friend, first car, first baby, etc.

The second baby will be better in a lot of aspects, than the first one, because of something called EXPERIENCE.

Stop worrying, it sounds cruel, but it doesn't.

Enjoy both babies as much as you can, they will grow REALLY fast.

Answer 9

i dont know my husband is exicited again this is my second child every guy is different im 14 wks today

Answer 10

yes, definintely.. the third one even less. altho that remark by your own husband was a bit callous.