my boyfriend goes mad if he knows a lad is txting me, but we r only friends nothing wud ever happen cos i love my boyfriend 2 much plus he's not y type just a friend
2006-09-29 04:17:29 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My girlfriend used to have male friends and still has a few, and I used to be completely fine with it. However, a few of the friends who my girlfriend used to describe to me as being her 'really good mates that had girlfriends themselves and had no interest in her', turned out to wanting only one thing (don't think i need to explain).
One of her apparent best mates, used to drive her to and from work and then offer to buy her drinks when they went out with their group of friends, texting her all the time, etc... I personally didn't like him and I used to get annoyed and warn her away from him. But she of course didn't listen, well in the end he gave her a txt after they had one day fallen out, where he declared his love for her and soon before he had dumped his own girlfriend of 2 years, for mine!
Thankfully my girlfriend told him where to go, and he wasnt the first or last btw to do this. My girlfriend still has male friends, and i know that they're all ok.
But my advice is, that of course you can have friends of the opposite sex, but be careful, not everyone out there is innocent, and straight forward, especially the older male. Also it may be a good idea to let your boyfriend hang out with you and your male friends so that he can make his own judgements, plus the worst thing that you can do from a guys point of view is be cryptic about where you were or who you were with, etc... because although you really havent done anything wrong, not telling the truth gives a person reason enough to suspect, as not telling the truth can sometimes be as bad as doing something (to your partner that is). I hope that you and your boyfriend can sort it all out and that this has helped.
2006-09-29 04:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by DaMonk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your BFs frustration, but I think as long as the BF knows, and the male friend also knows you have a BF, and there are absolutely no ulterior motives for you or the friend, and... you are willing to allow your botfriend to even meet this guy and become friends with him as well, no, there is nothing wrong with it. Otherwise, yes, I think there is something wrong with it, especially if you became friends with him SINCE you and your BF have been together. I don't think a BF has the right to take away any friendships you've had since before you met, but the underlying intention has to be decent. No ulterior motives is the big key.
2006-09-29 04:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god I can't believe some of the answers on here! Friends are freinds - regardless of their gender. I have shared beds with male friends (straight) snd it hasn't meant anything other than being sensible people and neither of us wanting a friend to sleep on the floor! I really can't believe that people honestly think that sex creeps into everything. At 34 I know that it is possible for men and women to be friends - most of my closest friends are male (some straight, some gay, some attached, some single) and my partner (male) has mainly female friends. I would be very worried about having a relationship with someone who didn't have friends of the opposite gender as they would obviously only see them as sex objects and not caring, feeling, individuals.
2006-09-29 04:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the guy has control issues. You need to have a long honest chat with him about this... If you can't resolve it then it could have serious repercussions for yourself... Myself as an example... I was with a girl for 4 years. Right from early on, she took a lot of control over what I did with my life because she didn't want me talking to other girls. This meant I ended up having no social life at all. A few years down the line, we split up and i realise I've lost contact with a lot of people (and more importantly, I lost who I was)
This takes a lot of pain and time to recover from so don't let it happen. Trust and respect for each others sense of indipendence should be fundamental to any relationship and it quite clearly appears to be lacking on ur BF's side. If he doesn't change, don't stick around any longer.
2006-09-29 04:31:58 · answer #4 · answered by Mark C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already have a boyfriend what are your MOTIVES for texting anoyher male. If teh shoe was on the other foot would you really be ok (on the inside ) knowing he's texting another female.
That's why it is so important to befriend the opposite sex before getting into sincerce relationships because undiscovered feelings WILL surface and you won't understand why.
Now, you ask your OWN SELF,"WHAT ARE YOUR real MOTIVES?
2006-09-29 04:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by kay_gaiter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. However my husband says that men only want one thing from females. I disagree. I have lots of just male friends both straight and gay, some have tried to snog me in the past and some have got lucky but at the end of the day, in cold day light, you can tell the men who really just want to be friends and who are just out for a shag.
2006-09-29 04:47:54 · answer #6 · answered by key 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have SO many male friends.. far more than female... i think i have too much testosterone for a woman LOL... of course... they can have any friends they want...
my male friends come in all ranges... fat, thin, gay, straight, in between, ugly, drop dead gorgeous, wear suits, wear overalls.... men are not as catty, therefore are a lot easier to get on with if you are not a catty female.
if a man told me i had to lose all my male friends, they could take a run and jump cos i only have about 5 female mates!!! Men keep secrets better, they have a better sense of humour... they just make better friends in general (in my opinion).
Be friends with nice people.... male or female!!!
2006-09-29 04:30:53 · answer #7 · answered by jelly the bean 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course women can have guy friends. Anyone who negatively affects your friendships just because they have issues isn't someone you need to keep around. Those that love you want you happy and will try to work out a system that makes everyone feel comfortable. Not fly off the rocker and get pissy.
2006-09-29 04:24:47 · answer #8 · answered by Brianna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thaats a ridiculous q. of course ya can any man that doesnt want u having male friends is just a loser and needs to get a reality check. he is clearly jealous and just wants u at home talking to no one so he can have complete control over u! get out asap, see this as a warning sign for a very possesive man!!!!
2006-09-29 04:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by furrigee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes all my friends are male, if your boyfriend has a problem explain how you feel. all my friends are male and m y boyfriend can be funny at times. i explained that i dont really get on with girls as some ***** to much and always have problems with other people it drives me crazy. if he really cares he will understand. good luck
2006-09-29 04:22:53 · answer #10 · answered by danielleveale 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋