He is so afraid I will talk to an old boyfriend or friend on the computer. I am very outgoing and friendly. I have friends that are male and female. I have kept in contact with friends from elementary school all the way to college. What is the big deal?
My parents can't believe that they can't write me in private....he reads my emails. If a male friend writes me, then he writes them a nasty reply and it is so embarrassing. Because I know it is an innocent email.....and I have to face this person one day....it even embarrasses my Mom/Dad if it is a friend from high school in my hometown 500 miles away....anyway....if I tell him not to do that..he says it is disrespectful to him that I contact old male friends and how would I feel if he did the same thing with women....he just doesn't trust the other men is what he tells me. What do you think? Do I just dump my male friends? And yes, they are just friends. So don't go there.
2006-09-29
04:03:38
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47 answers
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asked by
lucy p
2
in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
And with my FEMALE friends....if they say or do something he doesn't like....he will tell me that I don't need to be friends with that woman....especially if she comments on OUR relationship or gives me advice that he doesn't agree with....he thinks I should ask him for all the advice I need...and that I should only listen to his advice if I want him to think he is important in my life.....then I feel guilty. He doesn't understand why I enjoy talking to other people about life in general. Is there a problem here or is it me? I don't request this of him. He tells me that I let other people, including my ex, control me. I don't. I think he might have low self esteem.
2006-09-29
04:07:11 ·
update #1
He says things like "If you really love me......or if you really respect me......and this makes me feel bad.
2006-09-29
04:24:55 ·
update #2
It sounds like he has major issues. If he can not trust you then get rid of him! You can't live your life and not be able to have any friends or have any private emails from your parents. That is crazy!!! I couldn't imagin anything like that. Don't dump your male friends just because he doesn't want you to have any. That' pathetic. He has a major problem and needs help. Don't give him anything that has to do with your computer. So what if he doesn't trust the other men he should at least trust you! Get rid of him while you can it's only going to get worse. And in the mean time start doing to him what he does to you and make him feel the way you do.
2006-09-29 04:13:46
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answer #1
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answered by lem 3
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no its not ok at all on any level . do not give him your passwords. If he has them change them. And make it very clear that its NOT ok to read your personal mail or email without your permission. Just because he has controll issues and is obviously very jealous and insecure, doesnt mean it needs to be your problemas well. He will just have to learn to trust you or take a hike, because you have every right to your privacy. Replying with nasty emails to your friends ect is totally unacceptable and childish. You need to either dump this chump, or lay down the law IMMEDIATELY, and if he cant accept or deal with it , send him packing. By the way usually when someone is that suspicious , its because they are the one whos doing something wrong. Does he allow you access to all his personal corrospondence and his cell phone ect? Stand up for yourself and lay down the law. Dont let him bully you or controll you like that. And yes when he replies to your email it makes both of you look like complete idiots. Also i recomend printing my answer out after chosing it the best and letting him read what ive said . Please disregaurd this if he is actually the age he is acting which is about 12. Lastly the problem isnt you letting other people controll you, its him wanting to controll you ,and everything you do. Take a serious look at this relationship, because men like this rarely change , and you will be very unhappy in this type of relationship.
2006-09-29 04:05:21
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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Did you even read what you were typing? This boy has decided that HE, and not YOU, knows what is best for you as far as your relationships go with your family and friends. He is answering emails on your behalf, and trying to drive friends out of your life by typing those nasty replies.
Ditch that email address, change the password on your computer, and tell him you are entitled to a life outside of him, and if he can't handle that, then he can find some other doormat to dominate. And don't EVER do that again!
2006-09-29 04:07:37
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answer #3
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answered by Katie S 4
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From your question I read between the lines that you have gotten involved with a Jealous Control freak. If you give him the password to your email and computer and the next thing you know, he will be demanding you don't go anywhere or see any of your friends. You are better than that and don't need him in your life. DUMP HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before he hurts you.
2006-09-29 04:12:07
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answer #4
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answered by knittinmama 7
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Change your password first and never give it to anyone! Also, you should never feel under someone elses control. If you're an adult you have the right to speak with and see anyone you choose. If your guy friend has a problem with that, then it's HIS problem. Jealousy over normal interaction with the opposite sex is not rational. I would suggest you remove this person from your life before the situation becomes worse.
2006-09-29 04:09:00
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answer #5
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answered by brillantnut 3
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I had that same problem w/my husband. I would get upset w/him, but I wouldn't want him to do the same thing, I think I would be mad if the situation were in reverse. So what we did was we cancelled our seperate email accounts and share one. I know who he sends emails too and he knows who I send emails to. This has seemed to work for quite a while now. He's happy knowing I'm not hiding anything from him, and I feel the same way.
2006-09-29 04:07:51
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answer #6
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answered by julieanthony469 4
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Reading emails from male friends is okay (as you should have nothing to hide), but sending them nasty emails is NOT okay. Reading your emails from you mom and dad is NOT okay. He should respect your privacy. If he can't do that as a boyfriend now, end it, as his behavior will only get worse. This type of attitude is the precursor to an abusive relationship.
2006-09-29 04:07:05
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answer #7
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answered by sassybree1979 5
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NO, that's no longer invasive. You lied and hid issues from her and he or she drew a line in the sand, it quite is more suitable than i'd do. i'd kick your sorry a$$ out then and there. a minimum of she's adequate to purpose to make the marriage paintings. each and every thing she suggested is ideal and sensible for the marriage. A married guy does no longer favor secret on line money owed and private passwords. the in elementary words reason you had all it quite is to maintain issues out of your spouse! You sound so sleazy. you do not sound like you adore your spouse in any respect. in case you probably did, you would possibly want to not in any respect do those issues or you would possibly want to a minimum of have the decency to leave so she receives on with her existence and not in any respect ought to positioned up with an emotionally abusive jerk like your self. Your spouse isn't unreasonable. you're. i for my section imagine she needs to divorce you so quickly your head will spin. Yahoo solutions not often receives a good emotion out of me, yet this one is diverse. This one sickens me. God help your undesirable spouse. might want to she ultimately understand what a device you're and GET OUT.
2016-12-04 00:52:34
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answer #8
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answered by crompton 4
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If you're not married to this guy then get out! It is not worth losing friends you have known such a long time. Imagine how this guy would be if you were married! Talk about obsessive and possessive! It will only get worse the longer you hang with him.
Good luck and have a great day!!!
2006-09-29 04:29:04
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answer #9
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answered by Coo coo achoo 6
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I don't care if your married to him or he's a very close family member or the president of the united states (Which would be bad too) Never ever ever give out your password. If he won't accept that than you need to find a better boyfriend, he sounds to controlling and untrusting.
2006-09-29 04:07:30
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answer #10
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answered by webwriter 4
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