hi i work as an architect in london and as i only earn about £2200.00 per month after tax. From that i pay all the bills and the shopping and mortagage. that takes up about £1200 per month. I give her £400 for herself to cover her waxing, hair beauty products etc. I already pay for her petrol insurance and mobile phone. i take £200 for travel & lunch to work for myself and £150 for movies / dinner at weeKend for us. and we save £250.00. She is studying at the moment so she can't work and now she is pregnant to so won't be wroking for a while. She says that what i give her is not enough but i think it should be. we have argued so much over this and i am thinking of taking another job in the eveings / weekends to help ends meet. she also that when she gets het maternoty allowance from the governmentof £108 per month i must still give her full allowance. i was hoping we could save another £100 instead. Am i being selfish or fair ? please advice im at my wits end here.
2006-09-29 03:52:36 · 45 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Have her give you a list of all her bills...add it up. It sounds like she is the selfish one.
2006-09-29 03:56:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why cant she take a part-time job for extra spending money?
I think you are giving her more than enough especially considering that you pay for her mobile phone and car. No woman needs £100 a week for beauty products and it sounds like she is getting more spending money than you.
Would you trust her to take care of the bills for a few months? This may be a good way to show her that she cant control the money because from what you have said already, it doesnt sound like she would be able to make ends meet.
Whatever you do, dont get another job, this would be playing right into her hands and you would be exhausted.
I certainly dont think she would still need the £100 on top of maternity allowance either and I wouldn't give her it.
2006-10-01 21:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by Catwhiskers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give her any more money, her demands will never end if you do. My man earns nearly twice what you do and I have NO allowance. When things are better for us, I might have an allowance of £100 or £150 a month. I think your wife should be grateful for whatever you choose to give her - as a non-working partner she is entitled to nothing in my view. And don't take on another job to meet her selfish demands, you work hard enough as it is and need some rest. I'm sorry, I think her attitude is disgusting. Imagine if this question was being asked by a wife who pays all the bills and gives her "student" husband £400 a month for beer money in the student bar and he was demanding more? What would we all think of that? But because this freeloader is a woman it's supposed to be OK?
Mark my words, if her attitude doesn't change you are going to be paying through your nose for many years and it will end in divorce in which she will still expect you to subsidise her lifestyle.
2006-09-29 07:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, don't get another job. You'll end up exhausted and resenting your wife. She's a very lucky lady to be given an allowance by you while she studies. Most students have to get a loan.
If you're really trying to cut back, how about buying her a pack of Bic razors - much cheaper than waxing, and she has all the time in the world to sit in the bath and shave her legs.
Definitely don't increase her allowance. My goodness £400 is a lot of money each month - I can't imagine how she gets through so much.
My daughter and her husband were over this evening and they are expecting twins in a couple of months. My daughter was discussing how she intends to return to work part-time. They could manage just about on her husband's money, but she realises that she'll have to chip in if they want the little extras.
Sounds to me like you've been spoiling your wife!
2006-09-29 12:10:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OH my god!!! £400 pcm for waxing and pampering?? This girl is having a bubble mate. You pay for her 100% and you give her spends too, where were you when i was single? I am shocked. You are beeing too fair on her thats where your going wrong, yes let her have a few nice things and obviously dont let her go without and get hairy (heaven forbid!), but tighten them purse strings. Save for that baby, she should be thinking the same as you. Not being horrible but she dont live in the real world. Many people would call her a gold digger. You earn good money, my hubby earns less then half what you do and we get by, waxes and all!!!! Put your foot down before this gets out of hand mate!
2006-09-29 11:16:47 · answer #5 · answered by star28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once the baby comes she wont have time to go for all the beauty treatments believe me, unless of course she expects you to hire a nanny.
She appears to be very superficial, and £400 a month, some one on minimum wage, supermarket checkout for eg would have to work at least 20 hrs a week to come out with that, she is a selfish B****H.
Do not give into her, what would happen if you lost your job for some reason, how would she cope then.
2006-09-29 17:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife gets more than a lot of women get that don't work. My husband doesn't giive me an allowance so to say, but if I want or need something, we will usually go to the store and just get it. It sounds like she gets more than enough. If I was to get $400 a month, I would be in heaven.
If you feel that it would be better to save 100 pounds a month, then go for it. Tell her you want to save it because with a new baby you will need all the extra cash you can get, from nappys to bottles to wipes to formula, it is expensive. Or tell her that you will take her maternity allowance and put it into another account just for saving for when the baby comes.
2006-09-29 05:07:51 · answer #7 · answered by Genny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, she is a spoilt little brat whom should know better than to treat a decent man in this way. Remove her allowances for one month then she will appreciate exactly WHAT you do do for her. She will have to do her own beauty and as I suspect she has not done that for a very long time, then perhaps she will realise that she has been taking advantage of you....At the end of the month sit down and ask her how she has coped without her allowances and just watch her reaction...I bet she will be very very nice to you and accept what she normally gets. If she gets complacent again repeat the ban or threaten to repeat the monthly ban on allowance. You will get earache if you go through with this BUT it will be worth it...she needs teaching a lesson on living in the REAL WORLD
2006-09-29 04:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by Denise W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im a married woman and I do NOT think SHE is being realistic or fair to you at all. She needs to stop thinking of herslef- the waxing-nails-tanning and beauty things and start planning and putting away for the new baby! CONGRADULATIONS by the way! You are totally doping your part by busting your butt at work and she needs to stop being selfish about HERSELF and start thinking of the you- the baby- and your family! Put your foot down and let her know u r only thinking of your family- her and the baby. If i were you Id even CUT BACK a little on the allowance for the future of your baby! Your being very responsible- and doing the right thing! Good luck to u all!
2006-09-29 04:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The amount you give her has to come from somewhere else in your budget. Let her decide where she would like to take that money from, that will not impair your enjoying life; such that you could live with it, or find alternative, less costly ways to still enjoy those things. However she too should also have to conserve, and money can come from that as well.
It is wise you are trying to save for your future and/or for future emergencies. You should have at least 6 months worth of emergency funds to live off of, in case you lose your job, get laid up for any length of time, or have household medical emergencies. Help her to see the big picture of what you want for all of you in the future, and how spending extra money now can negatively affect that future.
2006-09-29 04:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by eric l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are being more than fair. Is this a partnership or are you just a money tree to her?
Why not sit her down ad involve her in your finances, showing how much you spend on yourself and asking her the same questions - £400 a month sounds like a lot of spending money to me - most people in London don't get that kind of spending money even when working.
What will happen when you have the baby? They are expensive! And continue to be expensive untill (even after) they leave home.
2006-09-29 03:56:59 · answer #11 · answered by Leapling 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋