I have a guy friend (more than a friend) We are closer than close. And I want us to be togehter, but he wants to stay friends. Until he gets himself together. We do everthing as if we are together. But he will not committ. What does it mean when he says he wants to get himself together. Is that a cop-out?
2006-09-29 03:34:03 · 18 answers · asked by t j 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Depending on how long you have been friends with him... My best friend is a guy and we have been friends since we were 5 years old(25 now). We tried to date because we(like you all) were always together and always doing things like a couple.
To skip the whole story we both ended up acting different when it turned into a relationship. He want to have sex, I wasn't comfortable. I wanted his attention more often and he wanted to go with his guy friends and didn't want me around his guy friends(which were both of our friends)anymore.
Maybe its not the commitment but he really like the friendship and doesn't want the change. He might have issues that he doesn't tell you about, or want you to know.
Keep the friendship and enjoy the time you spend together, until you are both ready, rushing will make your friendship end and never into a relationship. Hope this helps
2006-09-29 04:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by KeKe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is really a very interesting question. I am 54 years old and I am still not sure who I am. Sometimes, when I am with a new friend and I am interacting, I say to myself, is that how you are and who you are? I am not sure that this cool person is not you. I think this cool person is a part of you and so is the other "uncool" part also you. There may be many other parts of your personality to be discovered and identities to uncover. If you can, just accept everything as part of you because in reality, I think this could be the truth about you. One thing for sure is that you are an interesting person with many journeys and discoveries ahead of you. Remember life is an adventure. Here are the lyrics to THE ONE AND ONLY by CHESNEY HAWKES I am the one and only, oh yeah Call me, call me by my name or call me by number You put me through it I'll still be doing it the way I do it And yet, you try to make me forget Who I really am, don't tell me I know best I'm not the same as all the rest I am the one and only Nobody I'd rather be I am the one and only You can't take that away from me I've been a player in the crowd scene A flicker on the big screen My soul embraces one more in a million faces High hopes and aspirations, and years above my station Maybe but all this time I've tried to walk with dignity and pride I am the one and only Nobody I'd rather be I am the one and only You can't take that away from me I can't wear this uniform without some compromises Because you'll find out that we come In different shapes and sizes No one can be myself like I can For this job I'm the best man And while this may be true You are the one and only you I am the one and only Nobody I'd rather be I am the one and only You can't take that away from me I am the one and only Nobody I'd rather be I am the one and only You can't take that away from me
2016-03-18 02:42:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. You guys do everything together, but I'm sure he has a few hours to himself sometimes. He has to be together with someone else. I have heard this before, and the guy told me the same thing and I didn't understand and he ended up being with someone else but didn't want to lose me as a friend. But I'm wondering you say he tells you he wants to be your friend. That's fine if he tells you that BUT if he tells you he likes you more than a friend but needs to get himself together than yea he is with someone else. Cause if you like someone, you don't miss out on the opportunity of forming a relationship, you jump in it and face your challenges while you are in the relationship. If he tells you he wants to be just friends and thats it accept it and move on.
2006-09-29 03:38:06 · answer #3 · answered by SxyPR 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not ready for a relationship, and he's letting you know in advance in a round about way. Would you rather he give in and commit to you, and than have an affair, or maybe things not work out and end in not even friendship? Men need time just as much as women. Let him have a little time. If your not willing to do that, keep it a friendship, and move on to someone else for a relationship.
2006-09-29 03:37:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No this means that he has some things in his life that he needs to get right before he can commit. It could be a bad habit, a job, he may need to make more money or be in a better position in life. I have three grown sons and they say that a lot about their life, especially when it comes to girls. Some guys will not even date if they don't have a good job, car, or their own place.
2006-09-29 03:41:09 · answer #5 · answered by Busy Lady 2010 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what he saying is that ...he needs to get himself together. WHAt he means is he may not be ready for a relationship, and since you guys are friends the stakes are higher. He needs to take some space and get his head in the game before he blows it all together. You should be glad hes being that honest with you instead of just jumping in and screwing it all up, you know. Keep hanging out, doing your thing...don't push and let that boy get himself straight before you get hurt.
2006-09-29 03:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be a cop-out or he could genuinely want to get himself together before getting too serious with you. Men are very hard to read therefore you just have to sit back and see what happens and pay close attention to all his actions. Better yet you should really talk to him and find out if a relationship with you is something he really wants period. Cause he could not be wanting what you want all together. But he may not want to hurt your feelings and loose the friendship. Therefore the only thing he can come up with is he needs to get himself together. So just tell him that you want him to be honest with you and tell you whats really good.
2006-09-29 03:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
May be a cop out it all depends on his situation.
He may really love you but he wants to offer you more than he has right now.
Maybe he vision he life a lot differently when he settles down and maybe things are not the way it should be...
If you guys are close you should know what his ideas are and you should know what position he is in right now.
That will help you figure out whether he is full of it.
One thing you dont wanna do is push him away...
2006-09-29 03:38:27 · answer #8 · answered by PG 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just not sure if he is where he wants to be in his life in general. I agree that until he is sure of himself and where he wants to be in life that you should hold off on a realtionship. I know two people that got in 9 yr. relationships that ended because they started too soon and both couples hadn't found out what they really wanted to do in life. Now they are 30 and just starting to figure that out. Being in the relationship kept them from exploring things that they are now trying to do. Don't push. It won't be good for either of you.
2006-09-29 03:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by Kimberly R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely a cop-out! He doesn't have the balls to be honest with you. Okay, maybe he just doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Could be he really enjoys your friendship but doesn't think of you in a romantic way. He probably can't think of a way to express himself without possibly damaging your friendship. Let him off the hook and enjoy having a best friend that you get to hang out with. Who knows, it might turn to love for him when he's not looking!
2006-09-29 03:52:14 · answer #10 · answered by Tina R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋