OKAY! MY CHILDS FATHER AND I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP OFF AND ON FOR 3YRS. I REALLY LOVE HIM A LOT BUT HE DOES THINGS THAT HURTS ME SO MUCH, LASTNITE WE BROKE UP AND IT'S KILLING ME ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE THIS YEAR WE REALLY TRIED AND I'VE PRAYED SO MUCH. NOW HE'S GONE AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO TO GET MYSELF UP AGAIN. I'M TIRED OF THE CHANGES AND BEING LEFT ALONE,WHAT SHOULD I DO, IF HE CALLS, IF IWNT TO CALL, R EVEN TEX? I WNT HIM BACK
2006-09-29 03:32:53 · 13 answers · asked by CHARM 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
You might want him back, but you dont need him back. You're being codependant and wanting him to some how take care of you and be committed to you. The sad truth is that he's not your husband and has made no legal binding contract, and no moral promise to you to do so.
He's proved to you already that he's not willing or able to give you the support you need in a man and that your child needs as a father.
Its time to grow up now, and be the responcible party. God always provides a way out. Ive known many girls who's babies daddies were supposed to care for and love them both, but didnt, so they separated themselves and were later able to find men who have adopted their child and made them a complete family.
You cannot change the will of a man, and neither can God. You can pray all you want. That man has the right to not love you and to not want to care for you. However, legally he is required to pay you money for the support of the child he created.
Get yourself a lawyer, get full custody if the child if you dont have it already, and get a court order for child support.
Cut off all ties with him. I know you love him, he's your childs father, and the man you imagined yourself raising a family with and growing old with. But you cant make him love you. You'll be stuck in this miserable cycle every day of your life so long as you continue to fool around with him.
Get yourself in a support group, either a church, or a close group of friends and family and get youself on your feet. When you're ready and able go find yourself a better man. And look for him in the right places, not on the street and not in the club. Find someone who wnats what you want. To raise a family and support eachother. Dont fool around wasting your time with nice guys who dont want those things.
Know what you want, and stick to what you really need. A man who will love and care for you and your child. Until then, separate yourself from this loser and get yourself right.
2006-09-29 03:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you pregnant?.... anyway, tell him to stop jerking you around. Tell him that you love him but you have more important things to worry about now than whether he is going to come and go. So if he's not going to stay for good, then he needs to stop causing you more stress and pain and let you get on with your life. Do you even know what he's doing in the times you are apart? This is very unhealthy. You need to think of your baby, nurse your broken heart if you need to, but make sure this guy either steps up or gets out.
2006-09-29 15:16:35 · answer #2 · answered by redzodd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you don't want him back. What you want is a man that can give your the affection and security that you desperately need. We all want that.
Take a nice hot bath with some nice smelling bath salts...or even better..treat yourself to a spa for 1/2 day, it's worth it and so are you!
If you are religious go to your church and talk to your priest/minister (believe me, I didn't go regularly but when I needed help it was there for me).
If he calls, its up to you weather you want to talk or not. You need to be in control of the situation. Do you want to keep being unhappy? If he calls for visitation rights arrange for him to be with the child when family is around (ie: he can go visit at the grandparents house).
Write down your feelings on paper to get them off your chest then burn the paper in the fireplace or someplace safe. Closure is the best thing.
Go out with friends, shopping/to a movie, have fun. The sooner you get on with your life and keep yourself busy the sooner the feelings will pass.
If you want to make yourself happy and your child, getting on with your life is the best medicine.
Good Luck!
2006-09-29 10:44:21 · answer #3 · answered by steelydawn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Calm down, i do not know much about relationships but everything happens 4 a reason, maybe God has something better in store 4 u, hold your head up high and if this doesnt help, go to a beach or a lake, and think there, nature and God will give you the answers you need, just listen to the wind and then, you will find yourself. good luck.
2006-09-29 10:44:10 · answer #4 · answered by volleyballMVP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to think about your child. You said the relationship has been off and on...this is not good for your child above all us.
He can't have parents together and apart with the wind....he'd be better off with one parent.
If he comes back, you could give it a slow try with the help of a counselor. Many churches offer it for free, but protect yourself and your child.
He can't keep walking in and out of your lives...think of you child.
I'm sorry you're sad...but I hung on to someone who treated me poorly for 3 years, when I let go, I met my husband 12 years ago, 3 months later!
2006-09-29 10:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl. Just give it some time. You have to refocas. What was the reason you broke up?
Now come one, you dont need stress in your life. And you have to be strong. Get out and do something. Have some fun, go to the movies with a gal friend, get involved with the community. time heals all things.
2006-09-29 10:44:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this isnt a good guy. sounds like you need to heal and move on to me too. it will take time but get back out there and meet new people not right away thoughi know its gonna be hard but you can do it and someone else will love oyu and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. you are worth more than what this guy is giving you. you deserve a man thats not gonna be on and off. give it time and move on he has i know what your going through its happened to me
2006-09-29 10:52:54 · answer #7 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats up girl Im going throw the same thing the only thing is we dont have children together, I think you should rest and have some you time relaxe if he calls dont answer right now I dont mean ever but imean think things throw for your sack
2006-09-29 10:47:32 · answer #8 · answered by kekecapricorn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't depend on him to make you happy. He will always do something to hurt you. Choose to be happy about yourself and focus on raising your child. Everything else will fall into place.
2006-09-29 10:43:42 · answer #9 · answered by janeannpat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you need to heal & move on. Maybe once you are looking for someone new he will change his ways for fear of truly losing you.
Sometimes that fear is what it takes for them to realize what they have & puts them inline.
2006-09-29 10:40:09 · answer #10 · answered by jms_ladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋