cold shoulder for cold callers?

Question

We get a lot of cold callers (door to door salesmen) because of the strong smell of wealthy retired people around here.
Can you think of a good note to put on the front door to advise them they are not welcome?. Advise for your answers, if you say No cold callers, they say they are not cold callers, typicaly "Oh no we are advising you of a local service"

Answer 1

No solicitors, or anyone who has to explain they're not.

Plain and simple and to the point :-D

Answer 2

How about 'Cold callers or salespeople not welcome, so f off. If you do knock, expect a nasty surprise after my door opens as my Rottweiler proceeds to eat your entrails. Do so at your own risk'.

Or perhaps:

'Unless I already know you, do not bother knocking on my door. That applies to cold callers and salesmen of any description. If you fall into one of those groups, expect to have the door slammed in your unwelcome face.'

Or perhaps:

No cold callers or anybody advising of services.

Answer 3

Check your fence or mailbox for small markings that salesmen may have put in an inconspicuous place. Paint over or remove these markings as they sometimes leave indicators that your house is a good place to try to sell stuff. How about a sign that says, "we have a large dog, go away!"

Answer 4

I'm afraid there's only ONE way to get the message across to this sort of person (and I don't want to hear all the old bollox about "they're only earning a living" because as far as I'm concerned they're nothing but an efffing nuisance), and the only way to get that through to them is to carefully prepare a small sign to put on the front door. It consists only of two words. One of them is not off, and of course, the other one IS.....

Answer 5

I've got the cheapest utility supplies, I've just had my double-glazing fitter and my windows are cleaned once a week. My gardener is the best and I donate to my favourite charities regularly. I am already a member of the Satanic Morons church and I read newspapers on-line. As you can see, my drive-way doesn't need tarmacing and I would really be happy if you just left me alone with whatever you've got on offer. I'M NOT INTERESTED. Get it?

Answer 6

A good one that works "WE DO NOT OPEN THE DOOR IF WE DONT RECOGNISE YOU" thats looking through the spy hole and another for phone if you dont recognise the phone number when the phone rings dont pick it up and if no number is showing then thats the guy at the end of 1471 didnt leave their number

Answer 7

My local council supplies a special sticker that says on it things like;
we do not buy and sell at the door
please push papers and post all the way through

and the list goes on (wish i had one to tell you all the details!) but maybe contact your local council and see if they have something similar.

Answer 8

We tend to think of dog training as a series of steps for teaching particular behaviors. To teach a dog to stay in a particular position, you reward her as she remains in place for gradually longer times, at gradually greater distances, with gradually increasing degrees of distraction. Read more https://tr.im/epOKw

Now, this is fine, training does involve teaching dogs specific behaviors with a step-by-step approach. This week, though, I’m going to discuss three mental habits that will not only enable you train more effectively but also make life pleasant for both you and your dog.

Answer 9

I've answered this before, but in relation to Jehovas, etc.

Signs don't work. Period. They'll claim they didn;t see them.

My tactic is answer the door, let them tell them who they are. You then sit on the floor, hold eye contact and say *nothing*. See who breaks first. It won't be you... :)

Answer 10

A simple "No Hawkers or Canvassers Please" should suffice providing you put it along side a window sticker of an Alsatian/Rotweiller/Doberman with "I LIVE HERE" under it.

Note to self: poodles/sausage dogs etc wont have the desired effect.

Enjoy watching your TV in peace

Answer 11

Signs really have little use as they choose not to read them. Much like no junk mail signs (we still get lots)
Other than a gate and an angry dog, I am not sure what would keep them out for sure.