my friend and his wife are seperating, they have a 1 year old girl. i want to be supportive and offer good advice to him.
2006-09-29 03:12:56 · 22 answers · asked by duncan 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
tell them they're better off separating amicably and sorting out their finances and custody themselves. that way they can save a stressful and expensive court battle over money and their daughter
be there to listen to your friend, he will probably just want a shoulder to cry on, so take him out for a beer (but not too many!) and let him talk.
never slag his wife off, and if he does, just listen, dont encourage him to say nasty things because any animosity between them will affect their child
good for you for being so caring, I'm sure you'll do the right thing.
2006-09-29 03:17:45 · answer #1 · answered by monkeynuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its his life. What if the advice you give backfires. Just be there for him. If the reason he is getting split from her isnt that you boned her then it isnt your problem to fix. Like a child when they have a bad day, all you can do is listen and be compassionate. Say Man that sucks I know its hard. If you go saying Good Im glad you lost that stick in the mud... thats about th etime when they will get back together. If you set him up with a date his wife may come flatten your tires. You should be like Switzerland, impartial.
2006-09-29 10:17:05 · answer #2 · answered by Hillary Dillary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best advice is to stay out of it. Listen to your friend and help him come up with his own decisions. But whatever you do, DO NOT give him any advice on what he should or should not do. You don't want that responsibility and/or blame. He needs to figure it out and the best thing you can do is be supportive.
2006-09-29 12:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by married2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So don't offer any advice, just be there as a listener when he needs one. Don't always agree with him if he says things about his wife like "She's a bi**h" - that would only anger her if she was to find out you'd been saying such things
Offer advice that will benefit him - such as keeping up his appearance, getting out and meeting people (both sexes, not just women) and generally not just moping about in his house/flat
2006-09-29 10:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've already answered your own question... just be as supportive as you can when he needs it... when he wants a friend he'll know where to come and if he wants you're advice he'll ask you for it otherwise dont offer any. if you havent been through it yourself then you cant know how he's truly feeling so when he does come to you... just listen because in my experience of breakups you need a good listening ear not someone to tell you what you should or shouldnt be doing,ok!
2006-09-30 23:57:05 · answer #5 · answered by christine301173 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope they'll be able to stay reasonably for their little girl's sake. I agree with everyone, don't offer advice unless it's asked for, but encourage him to be charitable towards his ex, encourage both, if you can, to be flexible over contact with the little girl. Maybe you can offer practical help such as lifts if they're ever needed. Try to remain polite to his wife, whether or not they get together, as if she feels you're against her, she may feel anxious and mistrustful towards your friend and that may lead to bad feeling which can hurt the little girl.
2006-09-29 14:50:52 · answer #6 · answered by Specsy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just listen and don't offer advice, because if you do, or say anything against the wife and they get back together, you'll be the bad guy. Believe me, I've done that and it came back to bite me in the ***!
2006-09-29 10:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by candeekissez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best advice, don't offer any advice. This is a time to just be there for your friend. Let him talk. You listen.
2006-09-29 10:14:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen to him when he wants to talk. Don't take sides. Encourage him and remind him to think about what is best for his daughter at all times while they get used to this changing situation. Encourage him to think long and hard about whether there is any future in their relationship, is it worth fighting for.
Be a good friend.
2006-09-29 12:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by bty180083 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that no matter what problems that he and his wife may have it's not their daughter's fault. Do not treat her any differently and ensure that he goes the distance to maintain his role in her life. In years to come both he and his daughter will reap the rewards of his efforts now.
2006-09-29 10:23:01 · answer #10 · answered by Solitary 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋