Anyone feel free to add your own
Chuck Norris doesnt tie his shoes, he just stares his laces into a double knot.
Chuck Norris doesnt own a cooker or Microwave, revenge is a dish best served cold.
2006-09-29 03:05:48 · 27 answers · asked by poli_b2001 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Celebrities
My personal fav is Chuck Norris has counted to infinity ...twice
2006-09-29 03:10:12 · update #1
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
And my all time fave:
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
classic...
2006-09-29 03:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by Diesel Weasel 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
The There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck
Norris
can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the
speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she
was
flying over the Pacific Ocean.
2006-09-29 03:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
When Chuck Norris went into a McDonalds and was refused a breakfast because it was 10.31, he roundhouse-kicked the place so hard it became a Wendy's!
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walk into a bar. The bar is instantly destroyed, because no building could house that much awesome all at once.
2006-09-29 03:48:41 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity ...twice
2006-09-29 04:16:42 · answer #4 · answered by Baby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a new bridge going over the Danube and it's up to the public to name it and so far the name Chuck Norris is winning.
2006-09-29 03:26:28 · answer #5 · answered by randombushmonkey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris only had on adversary, Superman. And Check Norris put Superman in a wheelchair.
2006-09-30 07:38:37 · answer #6 · answered by Kaz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My fav is Chuck Norris doesn't sleep he waits
2006-09-29 03:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by Nobody200 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris is the only person ever to knock Bruce Lee on his a**!!!!
2006-09-29 03:23:36 · answer #8 · answered by Vampire Lover 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There were no 3 wise men, just Chuck Norris and he gave jesus the gift of "beard"
2006-09-29 03:28:00 · answer #9 · answered by paulcartwheel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he just waits.
2006-09-29 03:06:59 · answer #10 · answered by 'Dr Greene' 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋