Should I let my Gf go out?

Question

we havent been close for weeks now, and i dont just mean sex. we have been going out for 4 yrs and moving into our own house in 4 weeks. She uses sex as a weapon these days, she wants to go out and spend a night at a friends and has offered me a good night as a kinda bribe. What should i do?

Good gratious! word my Q wrong and i get shot to pieces! Majority of you can s od off! Thanks to those who attempted a sensible or even humerous answer, some of you take this all way too seriously....

Answer 1

You know for sure she is using it as a bribe?, ...because I have done that but not as a bribe, I just felt bad a little because he had nothing to do that night. Come to think of it I did it after I came home. So slightly diff. but I think it is alright just as long as she isn't doing it on a regular basis. Then you two need to talk. Just think it is what it is and that you can handle this.
cheers

Answer 2

Well, it is a little immature to use anything as a "weapon" in a relationship...especially sex. But if she feels like she has to use that against you just to have a night out then what are you doing thats immature? You have to get that she is free as a bird, regardless of how long you guys have been "close". And I can tell you from personal experience the more someone tries to control you or limit you, the more you feel the need to break away. SHe shouldnt have to bribe you or feel the need to. If she's this committed where you guys are moving in together she should be big girl enough to balance her man time and her girl time. But you have to be man enough to "let her".

Answer 3

This is not right mate.
1: you have not been close for ages unyet you are moving in together soon? Do you think she may be getting cold feet or you are?
2: She uses sex as a bribe to go out with friends why? Do you not let her go out or do you play your face if she does?

Advise sit down with you girl friend and talk open, honest and frankly about any problems or issues you have and also ask her what her problems and isssues are.
Start with Trust as there seems to be a lack of that from you.

Answer 4

Surely the question is not about whether she goes out or not or whether you accept the bribe or not but whether you should be moving in together or not.

YOu say you haven't been close for weeks so this doesn't sound irreconcileable. Is the moving in together proving stressful? Do you live in your own places or with parents? Maybe she is scared about moving in with you and what that might mean. But you do need to address why she is using 'sex as a weapon'. Sex should be something you share to show your love and bring you closer not as a 'bribe' or 'reward'. Why do you think she is doing this? Why do you think she doesn't want to enjoy sharing sex with you?

I don't have any answers for you - just more questions I think you need to be asking yourself and her before moving in together.

Answer 5

First of all, I understand what you mean when you say should you "let" her go out. She asked you if she COULD as a sign of respect, because that's how people who love eachother treat eachother....with respect. She asked you because she doesn't want to do it and then have you be mad at her.
Second of all, she's full of it. If she's that desperate to go out and "spend the night at a friend's", then honey, you HAVE to know it's a guy she's gonna be with. Why does she HAVE to spend the night with the friend? Is she gonna be drinking? Offer to pick her up! What'll she say to that? You have 2 choices...let her walk all over you and eventually leave you...or bust her and leave HER ***. Guarantee you, if you let her do it this time, she'll do it again... and she'll stop being as careful..you WILL catch her! Then what??? Save yourself the heartache, honey. Someone else will treat you SOOO much better!!!

Answer 6

This relationship sounds like its almost past its sell by date...
If you have to be bribed to let her out then something is wrong.

Sounds like the move is causing cold feet as big events or decisions like that always do.

Ther is nothing wrong with going out .... or spending a nite at a friends ... unless she could just as easily come home and put your mind at ease. If she can ..then this sounds dodgy to me!!!

regardless ... I can't see it lasting much longer. Just decide who stays in the house now.


Dr Bad
(the real Hitch)
No new patients plz... srry

Answer 7

the way that was phrased, you were asking for an earbashing from all the women. it depends. if she has no objections to you goin out with your friends for a night, neither should you. but take my advice, stop letting her use sex as a weapon. it should be an act of love between two people, not a way for her to get all her own way. tell her that the "good night" will not affect your decision, and that she has no right to use it as a weapon

Answer 8

I understand what you mean by letting her go out (not literally hold her in the house). But you have to let her go and do what she does. When yuo start telling people they can't do thing they start to resent the other person. she may not want to do it as much if you gice her the space, but at the same time communicate with her and let her make her own decision.

Then you have a decision to make...Do you want to be with someone like her..

For me I know I want to lay next to my man every night and not a friend..

Answer 9

Sorry, are you her boyfriend or controlling father!? At least you get bribed, she could easily say 'I'm going out, will be out all night and will see you tomorrow' She is not an accessory, she is a person with her own wants and needs.

Answer 10

She sould go out and you should ok with that but at the same I think youre relationship has the priority and maybe you should tell that you would like her to return home after she done partying,And dont let sex be her way of controlling you !!!!