My fiancé and I put all our money in a pot, mine is his and his is mine… but when he asks for money and I say that I don’t have it (and honest to God I don’t, and he knows that!) he gets mad. He’s always asking me to use my over draft protection so that I can get gas money for him. If I say no, then he gets mad and claims that I don’t care about his job, that it’s not a priority. I feel that this is unfair. I have over a grand in bounced check (yes I know that this is wrong) because we needed this and we needed that (food, gas ect… only things that we NEEDED) but I am TRIED of having to do illegal acts to get money.
Has anyone else been in this position? Am I wrong for taking a stand? What should I do, I need advice… (and please don't say leave him, i need to know how to work through this not give up)
2006-09-29 02:55:19 · 6 answers · asked by girl_in707 3 in Business & Finance ➔ Personal Finance
Budgeting… VERY good Ideal… but do you get someone is terrible and I mean TERRIBLE with money to learn the concept? How do I teach him better money management skills?
2006-09-29 03:24:05 · update #1
He makes very good money at his job, and if he had better money management skills we wouldn’t be so broke. It’s hard to believe people who make way less than us are live better off then we are.
2006-09-29 03:25:49 · update #2
If you are spending beyond your means or your partner is, and god knows we all have done it, you need to address it. Most relationships are stretched emotionally the most when finances are stretched. Again I speak from experience.
There are only two ways out of the problems, (1) get more money (2) spend less.. of course much easier to type than to do.
In my opinion if you can reduce your outgoings then it will reduce stress and put you in a better place to look for more cash.. better/another job.. start a business..etc
Write everything you spend down, then go through it and do a need vs want. If its on paper its something to show your partner (or even better do it together).
You ask if you are wrong to make a stand, ofcourse if you have no money you are not wrong, but if he believes that you are holding back or even if he feels like he has no control then he will resent you. If you can work out a budget, discuss objectives, agree together where savings can be made, agree together the treats you both want or can afford for each other. Agree your budget together and keep revisiting it.. coz if you dont it will be difficult... Good luck, if you trust and love each enough to pool money you have more than most .. I think its worth trying to get through everything
2006-09-29 03:24:07 · answer #1 · answered by Andrew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance needs to learn to take care of himself. And you're running up a debt that you'll have a hard time paying on your checking account with the overdraft protection plan.
Tell your fiance to find a better job. There is ALWAYS better work out there, you just have to know where and how to look.
And if he keeps whining at you like this, you might consider dumping him. If this is what he's like, then he's not a good mate, and he's probably not the kind of person that you should be spending your life with. Give him an ultimatum - shape up or get out.
2006-09-29 10:04:13 · answer #2 · answered by Brian L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to stop pooling your money. He has to take responsibility for his spending. He needs to make sure his inflow equals his outflow and he won't do that until he no longer can foist his spending deficit on you.
Money problems often break up relationships. Solve the money problems and you'll eliminate the friction in your relationship and you eliminate the risk that you'll get left holding the bag. Don't kid yourself -- if the two of you amass a bunch of debt in your name and go through some tough times as a result, he might eventually decide to solve the problem by walking away from you and the debt leaving you high & dry.
2006-09-29 10:29:54 · answer #3 · answered by Zee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Budgeting, accounts for all everyday expenses. If he is going over the budget in other areas then he will always come up short and be in need of borrowing. You can also budget in his emergency funds as part of your budget. If all else fails, have him ask his co-workers for a ride or maybe he can try walking. Good luck.
2006-09-29 10:09:54 · answer #4 · answered by 2nosbutful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you do is have cash for hard time and don't let him know what you have only tell him enough and hide the rest of the money for hard time. you never let the wright hand know what the left hand has.
2006-09-29 10:04:27 · answer #5 · answered by tall shun 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him get another job
2006-09-29 09:57:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋