Frank glanced at the sunlight, wishing he was out there instead of trapped in this room, condemmed to a life of hell by his uncle, a life of grief by his father, and sentanced to a life of worry that someone might find out. If anyone found out, he was dead...
2006-09-29 02:21:53 · 7 answers · asked by dOnNa 1 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Frank blinked as the sunlight hit his eyes. He longed to be outside enjoying that same sun, where he should be. Not here, trapped in this musty room. His angst built as his fantasy of enjoying the sun collided violently with his fear of anyone knowing his truth. He was imprisoned by his Uncle in this Hell. And his Father's grief was Frank's lonely cell.
(How embarrassing for me!)
2006-09-29 02:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although wordly, it is comprehensible.
How about cutting down the long first sentence?
Frank glanced at the sunlight, wishing he were out there instead of being trapped in this room. He felt condemned to a life of hell by his uncle and a life of grief by his father. His sentence was a life of worry that someone might discover these facts. If anyone were to find out, he would be dead.
2006-09-29 09:32:30 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is a bit of a long sentence. Try this:
"Frank glanced at the sunlight. He wished he was out there instead of being trapped in this room, condemned to a life of hell and grief by his uncle and his father. He was sentenced to a life of worry that someone might find out. If anyone found out, he was dead..."
2006-09-29 09:34:21 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
As Frank gazed into the dazzling sunlight from his room he wished he could be outside in the fresh air. Instead, he was imprisoned in his dark room. He was condemned to a life of hell by his uncle, grief by his father, and worry that someone may find out one day. If anyone found out, he would be dead.
2006-09-29 09:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by Helen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Other than "sentanced" should be "sentenced", the paragraph looks ok to me, both grammatically and with respect to meaning.
2006-09-29 18:32:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Makes perfect sense to me. What's hard to understand about it?
2006-09-29 09:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by spongeworthy_us 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds good to me. I understood it.
2006-09-29 09:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by Eric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋