god mother or not?

Question

Ok my best friend is gong to have a baby in april and she asked me to be her babys god mother and i dont know if i should do it or not i mean i love her to death but if something would happen to her during labor or anthing i could not handel a baby right now what should i do?

Answer 1

I am glad that you are really thinking this through. Being a godparent is like being a second parent to the child. I am a godmother of 2 of my nephews. Becoming a godmother is accepting a lot of responsibilities that come with it. When you baptize the baby you have to always make that day a special day on your calendar and as every year goes past it must be remembered. Tell him/her about that day. But if something was to ever happen to either one of the parents the baby should go to you or the godfather, but legally the baby will go to the immediate family. I almost had to get custody of my nephew a few months after my sister had him and he was baptized because my sister was not sure if she wanted to raise him or not. SO, me being his godmother I took him so she could think about what she was going to do with her life. She landed up taking him back, but being a godmother/godfather is a lot of responsibility if the mother is not going to raise the child to know God in any way it is responsibility to step in. If you do not think that you could handle the responsibility of a godmother then do not do it.

Answer 2

There's a big difference between a Godmother and a legal guardian/custodian. A Godmother is responsible for continuing the baby's religious education in the event that something happens to the parents. (e.g. If your friend is Catholic and dies, you would see that the child continues to go to Mass, receives her first communion, is confirmed, etc.) Some people do choose their Godparents as the baby's legal guardian in the event of their death, but this is a legal issue (completely seperate from a religious issue) and is something that has to be done through an attorney and is in a will.

Answer 3

Just being the baby's God Mother does not mean you will be responsible for the baby in the event your friend dies. If this is something you are really concerned about maybe you should ask her what her intentions are if something should happen to her. Chances are her family would take the baby. The God parent thing is more for ceremony. My husband and I asked his nephew to be God Father when he was 19 thinking that he would really like being asked,and he was thrilled, but if my husband and I die tomorrow I would not expect him to take and raise my daugher.

Answer 4

nice to hear that you are taking this seriously, some people love the idea of being a god mother before actually thinking it through.

I would suggest you talk to your friend about this firstly to get things out in the open. Maybe she will understand and opt for a sister or aunt to be godmother.
However, if something was to happen and you were godmother you still have options, like allowing a grandmother to have custody and bring up the baby, but how does your friend feel about this, there must be a reason for her deciding on you? Unless she hasnt really thought it through.

Best to speak about it - just in case!

Answer 5

I'd find out what she thinks the role of a godparent is before you decide. Nice to see you are taking the role seriously enough to think about wether you can forfill it.
My two daughters have 'supporting adults' as we went for a Naming Day rather than a Christening, but the general idea is the same.
We chose friends who were generally long-term friends to either me or my partner. And who we thought would therefore be long-term in our children's lives also.
The idea, from our point of view, was not for the adults to take legal responsiblilty of our children should anything happen - my mum and dad would have that role, but to, in that instance, still play a part in our daughters lives and help them through it and keep our memory alive; maybe a different side to what our mum and dad can!
However, on a positive note we see them as being extra 'aunties and uncles' who will be there for the girls through out their lives - peoples they can maybe turn/talk to when they are older if they feel unable to do so with us on certain issues. People who love spending time and showing an interest in them and, like us, love them unconditionally.
One of my daughters has 5 'supporting adults' and the other has 4. They both 'share' 3 of them, but my eldest has 'adopted' one of my younger daughters as she is a friend I've known the longest (over 20yrs) and she treats them the same. So between them 3 of their 'supporting adults' they have regular contact with - phone, visits, days out, etc.

Answer 6

The baby would go to the next immediate family member such as the baby's father or your friend's mother. I'm sure someone else would want the baby before it gets into your hands. I think what this means is you would just be a big role model for the baby and be there like an auntie would. :)

Answer 7

when they ask you to be the god mother you should never say no because if something happens to the baby hope not they are going to blame you . let me tell u a story . my mom lost my baby brother when he was 5 months old because the god parents who were going to be, they kept changing the date to baptism him and one night in mexico he kept crying so hard and they didnt know why finally they check his diaper and the scorpion came out of the diaper so they took him to the doctor but it was to late. so he wasnt baptist. and till now my mom still blames those people even though your the godmother they would go to the family first if theres no family well yeah its you responsability but dont worry think positive that everything is going to be okay.

Answer 8

This is how they did it back in the day now legally the family gets rights 1st! So relax and be that babies god mother. A god mother now adays iss more like an extra AUNT

Answer 9

I agree. Now a days the baby goes to family first. I don't think you have anything to worry about. She probably just wants you to know your her best friend and she trusts you. Her way of thanking you for being there. I had a god mother, and I haven't seen or heard from her since I was 5! I wouldn't stress about it.

Answer 10

If u know u do not want to take on the responsibility of raising a child than that job is not for u, b/c that is exactly what it is...a job. I have four myself so I know. Let her know u love her to death but u just could not imagine handling the responsibility. If she ur girl she will understand and besides I think the God Mother and God Father thing has played out but let her know that u will be there for her.