Here's the problem my wife loves me with all of her heart i honestly don't beleive that anyone could or would ever love me as much as she does. But in contrast i don't feel that same amount of love for her or anyone else I never have. I think i lack the copacity to feel love that strongly. Due to this fatc i don't show my wife the love she deserves. I have tried to see love the way she sees love but i'm not sure i beleive in it. I care for her very much and i do love her just not how she loves me. Does anyone have any ideas or advice that could help me out. She feels more like a best friend i feel as though i need to protect and be there for. She is my best friend but i feel like i am wronging her for not loving her like she deserves. Sometimes i think she would be better off with someone else who would show her that love but i don't want to lose her or hurt her. She is the most important thing to me and i hate hurting her like i know i do. Please help.
2006-09-29 01:24:18 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why not simply ask her what she expects because it seems to me that you do, in fact, love your wife.
Everything that you have expressed in this question points out a husband's love for a wife.
She may feel like a best friend because some of the sexual excitement isn't there? Is this what you are trying to convey?
If so, plan a short getaway and see what happens.
If that doesn't work, try couples therapy because that often exposes underlying issues that you may need to sort out together.
It could simply be that each of you has a different expectation about what "love is supposed to be". Perhaps one of you has set the bar too high.
2006-09-29 01:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If I am understanding you correctly, you are meaning that you are not as passionate with her or really attracted to her sex wise, the way that she is with you. If You love her the way that you say that you do, then you should be feeling the same way towards her as well. A husband & wife should not only be lovers they should also be bestfriends, I truly believe that that is what helps a marriage last. If the two of you are best friends, then you two should be able to communicate with eachother in every way. And if you love her as much as you say that you do, then you should be able to express your love to her, not only in words but also physically. You say that she is very important to you, and that you hate hurting her. If this is true then you will begin compromising and start to show her the Love & Affection that she not only shows you, but what she truly wants & deserves.!
Good Luck To You Both!
2006-09-29 04:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are confused with the definition of love. In this modern day, we are told that we fall head over heels in love. That our heart must feel palpitations, and that we must swoon. What happens when you don't feel it? Then it mustn't be the same love or true love.
I believe that is wrong. Your wife is your bestfriend, she is the woman you want to protect, and as you say, she is the most important thing to you. How can you say all that and then say that you don't feel the same love for her? Because love is felt at all different levels, and differently for each person.
I think you need to learn to open up, because I don't feel that your issue is how much you love your wife, rather I feel that it may be related to how much of the real you, you show your wife.
Or maybe, I am just one of those people who believes that love is still special, and actions speak louder than words, and your actions say it all. You are her bestfriend, her protector and the most important thing in her life too. Now tell me that the love that you share is different, because I don't feel it is.
2006-09-29 01:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
To me, reading your answer, it sounds like you do love her as much as she loves you. You say she's your best friend, and you don't want her to hurt, and she deserves to be loved as she loves. You're just not good as expressing it. Sometimes you have to force yourself to be aware of yourself. If you realize you haven't shown any affection toward her, then do it. It may feel kind of weird at first, but in time it will feel natural. Start out small, a small stroke of her hair as you walk by, hold her hand when you're in the car, or lay your hand on her lap if you're sitting next to her. Build from there, give her a hug if you walk past each other. Or kiss her before you leave and tell her you love her. Just hold her when you're laying in bed, with no expectation for sex. To me it seems the feelings are there, you just need to learn to let them out. You are right, she deserves to be loved the way she loves, and you can learn to do that for her. With a little effort on your part you can have a happy, fulfilling life together.
2006-09-29 01:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is the best feeling in the world. You should let yourself go and allow that feeling to take over. Love is all. There is nothing that compares to two people loving one another with all they've got. You WANT to love obviously, but whatever it is that's holding you back, you need to let that go immediately. I promise, love does not hurt, it's not even possible. It may hurt to lose someone, but there's no way love can hurt. It's the most awesome, overwhelmingly, beautiful feeling/emotion one can possibly feel for oneself/spouse. You must first love yourself before you can love her the way she loves you. Love everything about you, inside and out. Once you've acheived this, you go love that woman like there is no tomorrow.
"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all..."
2006-09-29 01:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If of all I use to think like that,I use to think that love was not true ,,,I use to treat man like whatever I wanted and that I was never going to find true love,,,but the truth is that I met this guy we are different ,he is black im mexican and he a realy cristian and Im trying to change my ways ,,, I you dont feel love now then I recommend you to take a step and let her know tell her that se is a very beautifull and never hurt her ,sh everything ina bestfriend and tell her that you need time,,,, marrage is not a friend thing ,, ask your self what does love means?
How do you know you're in LOVE?
Is it the crazy things you do when you'r not with her?
Is it the fact that your hear spiks a beat everu time you can't go sleep at night when her image is no your head?
Is it the need to hold her in your arms and never let her go?
Is it hte hunger deep inside of you longing for her kiss,
Is it the fact that you can't go so sleep at night when her image is on you head?
2006-09-29 01:42:26 · answer #6 · answered by Airforcepink 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you do feel love just by the way you express how you feel in your question! Feeling like she is your bestfriend and not wanting to lose her says alot! Give yourself some credit, alot of people don't have that much! No one says everyone has to feel the same level of love as another! Showing her honor and respect is a level of great love, you don't have to be all kissee and buy gifts and things like that to show love. Just the fact that you recognize how much is loves you says alot! Hang in there,she sounds like a lucky women!
2006-09-29 01:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by kelley1031 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just by saying that and stating that ur worried means laot but u dont need to give her to someone else and if she loves u that much she wont want anyone else...... my husband is sort of the same way i know he loves me deeply and protects me and wud do anything in the world for me, hes faithful, hardworking...but he struggles with emotions because his parents were assasinated when he was only 4 so love is not something he grew up with knowing until he got to be older..its not his fault that its hard for him to show emotions an dlove but he tries:) but honestly the fact that he goes and works every day and pays the bills, kills the spiders in the house, fixes things, does the yardwork...those are his ways of showing he loves me:) u need to try and look at it that way....i dont think ur a bad guy and ur wife is very lucky :)
2006-09-29 01:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
dude dont get down on your self most likely the problem is your depressed you got a good women do not i repeat do not let her go better yet see a doc for some meds that might help ...i went thru the same thing and my prob was depression now with meds everything great ...good women are hard to find dont let her go she can help you thru this
2006-09-29 01:28:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should really consider couseling. There is something that is keeping you from loving like you could. It sounds like both of you are willing to work on this marriage, so I think counseling would be your best choice.
2006-09-29 01:31:23 · answer #10 · answered by Jewells 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋