Why do i feel so guilty..?

Question

My boyfriend recentry triedto break up with me but didn't want to. He only did it because i was pushing him to e someone that he wasn't and now i regret that a lot. But the thing is i have been waking up every morning feeling guilty abou teverything. Like homework that i don't get and that i'm too tired to resolve but i eventually do. And things like do i really want to be with this guy anymore? It doesnt' feel like it did before. Maybe i'm just afraid that i wont find someone else and that i'm afraid to let go of all the memories? I have also been feeling guity about not going to youth group tonight and instead going to bowling but i don't want to do that either go bowling i mean. I don't know why. Maybe i need to look to god and friends for answers. Also recently i have been having a lot of stress because i have been going to the doctor for a series of tests on my kidney which has not been functioning properly. Please tell me what i mightbe going through. I can't stand the pain.

P.s. we are still together. but its weird sometimes...

Answer 1

Why Do I Feel Guilty?

Have you ever blown up at someone and then felt guilty about it? Or maybe you've felt bad after lying to your parents. Feeling guilty can make you feel afraid, ashamed, or disappointed in yourself. Guilt can make your life miserable unless you learn how to deal with it in a constructive way.

Guilt is when you feel bad because you know you’ve done something wrong. Having feelings of guilt can be bad for you, but they can also be good. It all depends on the kind of guilt you feel, and why you feel it.

The kind of guilt feeling that can be good for you is called constructive guilt. Constructive guilt makes you feel bad about something you did that really is wrong—by anyone’s standards. For example, if you cheat on a test, you should feel guilty. It’s wrong. That feeling of guilt can lead you to feel angry and disappointed in yourself, and that will help you not to do it again. This kind of guilt is not bad for you; it’s your conscience.

The kind of guilt that can be bad for you is called destructive guilt. It makes you feel bad about something you did—or even just thought about doing—that really isn't wrong. This kind of guilt is bad because you worry so much about what's wrong with you that you can't enjoy what's right with you.

Destructive guilt can also be the kind you use as payment. This means you did something wrong, and you feel rotten about it. But then you go out and do it again, and again. You figure you're paying for your mistake by feeling guilty about it. But that's all you do. You never go beyond that to improve your behavior.

What can you do if you're feeling a lot of destructive guilt--the kind that messes up your head?

One thing you can do is to look at those things you do that are right, not just the things you do that may be wrong. If you get uptight and feel bad about every little thing you do that you or others don't approve of, pretty soon that's all you'll think about. You'll constantly feel guilty for not being a better person. But if you put the accent on what's right with you, you'll cut down on the amount of guilt feelings you suffer.

Another thing you can do is to learn more about those situations that cause you to feel guilty. For example, if you feel rotten when you blow up at your parents, learn more about parent-teen relationships. Talk to a teacher or counselor at school, or to a clergy-person. You'll probably realize that it's natural for you to lose your "cool" with your parents once in a while, that there's no reason for you to feel guilty when this happens occasionally. When you learn more about why you act the way you do, you'll know whether or not you really do have something to feel guilty about.

Since guilt can be such a strong motivator, some people use it against us. Making someone feel guilty when they don’t deserve it is a way that some people make others do what they want them to. Maybe your friends have said something like, "You've got to get your dad's car so we can make the party. Otherwise, none of us can go." That’s a way to make you feel guilt about “not being a good friend,” when, in fact, you’re just obeying the rules. It’s not a good way to act, and it’s not a good way to feel.

Guilt can be good and guilt can be bad. If you’re feeling guilty, think about why. Were your actions wrong? If so, how can you make up for it or change so as not to do it again? Or are you feeling guilty for no good reason? Is someone making you feel guilty and you don’t think you deserve it? Then talk to someone you trust about it. You can keep from getting down on yourself when you do make mistakes by remembering that you do a lot of things right, too.

Answer 2

I went through that same "guilty" thing in my teens, 34 now. In my case it was a phase that faded with time. I would suggest talking your parents about what you are going through. They love you and I'm sure they would be willing to do whatever is necessary to help you.
Anything having to do with doctors and tests is always stressful. I've had issues with my kidneys as well. These issues left me with a weakened renal/urinary system. You might consider taking 1000mg cran-max cranberry capsules. You can get them from Swanson vitamins. I've also seen them at Kroger. The cranberry will help keep you from having urinary infections. I've been on cranberry myself since that infection, that was over 10 years ago. Haven't had another infection since then.

Answer 3

Look its not too late to turn things around back to normal in your situation. Just change your perspective and learn to accept your Bf just the way he is, Would you wanna have a bf whose personality is a lie or would you wanna have a bf whose persoanlity is true .... You can change everything because you have the opportunity..... Some people are not so lucky ... Please dont create problems for yourself or it will eventually hurt you. Just try to take it strong and smooth and everything will be fine.

Ps: I hope your kidney problem gets over soon :)

Answer 4

Seek counseling, from your school counselor, a minister, or a local agency.

There is no reason that you should have to go through this alone. But it would be better to get advice from a qualified person as opposed to a friend.

Answer 5

every now and then everybody needs a personal holiday

Answer 6

take break from the guy, and get you health sorted out.

Answer 7

i know why do u feel so guilty because u dont give 10 points..