Wedding night - doubts???

Question

I will give you the background. I am 27 F and live in India. I am getting married in the next few months (arranged marriage). We have never been intimate physically. So i have certain questions about the first night:
1. What sort of underwear should i wear? I dont want it to be so plain that my hubby feels turned off or too sexy so he feels i am a 'bad girl'.
2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is (I have a thick bush)?
3. Do i blowj*b him or no? (Yes, I have watched some movies!!)
4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?
5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?
6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?
7. Can I ask him for oral sex?
8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)
I would like to know the 'perfect' response of a good wife and then do whatever suits me.

Please give answers in details and no rude answers please.

Please do not say - whatever u are comfortable....it really does not help at all!

Answer 1

1. Simple, but sexy undies. Go to Victoria secret and get something from there. I am pretty sure that he will love whatever you may choose.

2.Just groom your area. If he prefers that it is all off he will tell you.

3.If you feel comfy doing this. I am pretty sure if he wants it he will ask, but surprise is the best element.

4.Depends on your situation. Can't tell you yes or no.

5.Yes you should wash, the best thing is to take a nice shower or bath together.

6.Do what comes natural. All men like to her you, it makes it better.

7.Yes you can, but do not dictate the request.

8.Truth is the best

There is no perfect response for any of the question that you asked. Just be yourself and do not change that . He will love you no matter what. Since you are not a virgin you should not have any problems satisfying him.


Good luck!

Answer 2

Obviously there are cultural differences, but you might want to listen to my 2 cents from a non-Indian guy:

1. What sort of underwear should i wear?

A white thong - kills two birds with one stone. White is "virginal" and a thong is sexy.

2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is (I have a thick bush)?

I think Indian men like the bush - bassed on the Indian pornos I've seen - lol. I suggest shaving anything that peeks outside your underwear.

3. Do i blowj*b him or no? (Yes, I have watched some movies!!)

Yes.

4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?

If you are concerned about pregnacy, perhaops you should go on the pill.

5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?

Can't answer this one.

6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?

If you are enjoying it - moan.

7. Can I ask him for oral sex?

Why ask? Gently push his head down there and if he's into it, he won't resist. If he resists, it's gonna take some time to get him to change his mind.

8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)


I'll tell you this much - if he asks, then it means that it is important to him whether you are a virgin or not. If he asks if you've eveer seen one before, it's a trick to find out if you're a virgin or not. Cultural stuff aside, if a man asks either of these questions, he's worried about his performance as a lover and the fact that you will compare him to someone else. My advice - lie.

Answer 3

1. What sort of underwear should i wear? I dont want it to be so plain that my hubby feels turned off or too sexy so he feels i am a 'bad girl'.

Wear Cute underwear

2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is (I have a thick bush)?

For some men its a must but then there are others who adore a natural look. Since you dont really know this guy dont suffer throught the shaving

3. Do i blowj*b him or no? (Yes, I have watched some movies!!)

YEs

4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?

Unless you want kids right away

5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?

For you yes or else it could get an infection for him let him take care of himself or else yes for him too

6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?

Moan

7. Can I ask him for oral sex?

Of course

8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)
I would like to know the 'perfect' response of a good wife and then do whatever suits me.

Girls always lie and say like only once but if you are suppoused to be a virgin and you say yes, he might be able to tell. So id go with once

Answer 4

1. What sort of underwear should i wear?
Simple thongs are sexy but not dirty.

2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is
Leave it unless he asks you to shave.

3. Do i blowj*b him or no?
If he asks

4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?
Do you want a child? LOL. As for STDs he's your hubby so that wont matter

5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?
Um, no. A quick wipe might be enough

6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?
start low, get louder. see what he likes

7. Can I ask him for oral sex?
if he asks first

8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)
I would like to know the 'perfect' response of a good wife and then do whatever suits me.
TRUTH is always the best dear. Or your marriage will fail.

Answer 5

1. What sort of underwear should i wear?
- Wear a sexy one but not dirty especially it should be branded.

2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is
- As your husband likes whether clean or bush.

3. Do i blowj*b him or no?
- If he asks u then do it

4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?
- As he is your hubby then not necesary or wanted to avoid early pregnancy then use it

5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?
- No, only wipe it which might be enough

6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?
- Be quiet in beginning, start moaning low, then get louder.

7. Can I ask him for oral sex?
- It depends on the taste of both or else ask him

8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)
- Whatever it is he will come to know if u u lie.
So, TRUTH is always the best dear. Or your marriage will fail.

The most important is that sex should not be done for just a sake but it should be done with great interest and should enjoy doing so. It is necessary to discuss about sex life with your husband before marriage, need not be shy. Ask about his entire taste in sex. Do sex only when both of you are interested and are in mood that will give u maximum pleasure.

Answer 6

. What sort of underwear should i wear? I dont want it to be so plain that my hubby feels turned off or too sexy so he feels i am a 'bad girl'.
I would suggest a colored panty, maybe made of satin. Red is nice and sexy but it doesnt look trashy.

2. Am I supposed to shave the hair 'there'? or leave it as it is (I have a thick bush)?
I would say dont shave yourself, but maybe trim downthere. If you shave he may think you are a women who sleeps around(after all this is your first time with him)

3. Do i blowj*b him or no? (Yes, I have watched some movies!!)
I would say if he asks you to, but make sure he knows you have never done this, that way he can instruct you and help you.

4. Should i insist on condom protection or no?
Since he is your husband I would say no.

5. After sex, should i wash my va*gina? Should I clean his pe*nis also or no?
I dont know if culturally this is something important or not, but from my viewpoint I would say clean yourself up and let him clean hisself up.

6. During the act, should i be totally quiet or moan?
I would say just be natural. If your body wants you to moan then moan. It usually turns my husband on more if I make noise.

7. Can I ask him for oral sex?
Yes you can. If you would like him to go down there then ask him to, but make sure you are willing to do the same for him.

8. If he asks- " Are you a virgin"? or "Have u ever seen this" - what should I say? Is telling truth a good idea? (I am not a virgin)
I would like to know the 'perfect' response of a good wife and then do whatever suits me.
I think you should tell him the truth unless culturally you should be a virgin. I know this sounds mean, lying to your husband on your first night, but it may save you the heartache of having a husband who no longer wants you because he is not your first.

Good luck and remember, have fun. He is to be yours for the rest of your life, make it worth it :)

Answer 7

1. clean and sexy
2. Total shave is more bad girl than underwear. Try medium trim
3. If you like , if he asks.
4. Do you want to be pregnant? that will give your answer.
5. Not necessary
6. Its up to you. Noise during sex is feedback for your pleasure.
As a guy quiet tells me I'm not holding up my end.
7. Yes, you might want to approach that at a later date.
8. This is an area where honest is probably the best policy. You should find out before the fact if this is a problem for him. It would be a shame to have a new marriage fall into despair because of a history that you cannot change.

The response of a good wife is "I Love You". I do not how that relates to arranged marriages but love will need to appear sometime. That all has to do with the personality of your betrothed. The impression we get in the west is based on the stories we hear about husbands who treat their wives shabbily.
If your virginity is a deal breaker it may be best covered early.

Good Luck and Happiness. It is refreshing to to hear your interest.

Answer 8

Hey congratulations ;) now for the answers...

1. Well to tell the truth i don't think it really matters lol...i mean it's going to come off sooner or later :p but it's better he get turned on than he doesn't at all right?
2. Maybe just give it a fair trim....i doubt he would want a bush in his mouth if he gives you an oral.
3. That depends on how you feel..about him, about how close you already are...so do it if you feel like it..men usually don't mind ;)
4. If you are not on pills than it's better to use one...
5. You said that you weren't a virgin so you should know...of course you wash yourself lol..nah you needn't to do his cleaning for him....unless you are taking a shower together ^^
6. Well you'll moan at what feels good..i mean it's better not to fake it
7. Why not? and besides if you do give him one he might return the favor...
8. Now that totally depends on you. I doubt he will ask..but do you think that starting your marriage with a lie is a good idea..be sides he might find out..i'd rather say the truth it's safer.
Take care.

Answer 9

its natural to be nervous but you'll probably find sex will happen more easily than you thought, and you'll know the right thing to do at the time. however, this is what i think:


1. make sure your underwear is BRAND NEW, this is more important than the actual style. wear a pretty bra and pants

2. trim it a bit. a big bush would be a turn off, but i wouldnt shave it completely

3. probably not until you're comfortable with him

4. no, as long as you are both clear of STDs and you dont mind getting pregnant

5. whichever you feel comfortable with - if he gets up to clean himself, so should you

6. somewhere in between, dont moan like a banshee, just a little

7. see question 3

8. giggle and avoid the question - tell him you can talk about all those things another time. without making a big deal of it


GOOD LUCK IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Answer 10

I'm not Indian and I knew my husband very well before we married, but here are my thoughts: above all, you should enjoy yourself. Because you don't know your husband very well, this first night is about establishing sexual norms as well as intimacy. In general, my advice is to refrain from doing anything with which you are not comfortable, as that will create a precedent which you may not be able to escape. As to your specific questions:

1. Wear a new pair that makes you feel sexy, confident, and comfortable, but don't stress too much about it. Your husband will soon become well aqcuainted with your entire collection of underwear, so there's no use in stressing out about one pair.

2. Shaving might actually make you feel raw as you clothes will chafe against skin that is normally protected by hair. If you do not shave often (implied by your question), the skin in that area will probably become tender and may develop small, irritated bumps. I suggest avoiding skin irritation that may detract from your enjoyment of the evening.

3. That's completely up to you. Whatever you do, don't base your decision on movies. After all, you are not a porn star; you are his wife. If you both seem comfortable with the idea, then do so. If you really don't want to do it, though, don't do it. After all, you don't really know this man yet. If you don't know anything about his sexual history, I suggest that you hold off on oral sex until after you've discussed your sexual histories and whether or not you want to use protection during such acts.

4. Again, since you don't really know this man, I think it's best to be cautious. You don't just need to worry about pregnancy; you have to worry about STDs, as well. If you think you will have sex before you discuss your sexual histories, then it's best to insist upon protection.

5. You're trying to establish intimacy, so try taking a shower together. In general, though, keep a towel handy; a quick wipe should suffice. Do note that doctors suggest that women use the toilet immediately after sex. Doing so can help you to avoid a urinary tract infection.

6. Be honest. Your husband will use your cues as a guide to his sexual performance. If you lie by moaning when he does something you don't really like, he'll do it more often because he thinks you like it. Listen to your body and act accordingly. Don't send him mixed messages. Communication is important in all aspects of marriage - sex included.

7. See my answer for for #3. You say you are not a virgin. Get tested for STDs prior to your marriage. If you do decide to do this, you don't want to put your new husband at risk.

8. Do men actually ask that - especially the second one? I don't really think anyone would ask this, but maybe I'm wrong. If it does come up, don't lie. He'll find out later and become angry and hurt. Just tell the truth. If it's a deal breaker, well, then you shouldn't marry this guy. Find out in advance what his expectations are. I really think you two should discuss sex and sexual histories before you have sex. A lot of confusion and risk can be avoided by doing so.