Do you have a cell phone with a cute logo?
Do you have a hand-held game with animals to and fro?
have you got a puppy in your stylish bag?
Do you have a ring-tone with woof or meow as a gag?
Do you ever realise this world is full of pets?
Who are sad, and real, and lost, and not just for your jests.
Try being a real, good person
And treat all animals well
Not just as a superficial joke
Or a commodity to sell
One day if Jesus does return
We all will face His sorrow
At how we treat His animals
As if there's no tomorrow.
2006-09-27 23:14:36 · 11 answers · asked by Juliette 3 in Pets ➔ Other - Pets
Your poem is from the heart and that's worth 10 out of 10 from me! It's lovely to hear that there are people in the world who value the lives of others as well as their own. Good for you! x
2006-09-28 00:38:24 · answer #1 · answered by manc red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked this bit
"And treat all animals well
Not just as a superficial joke
Or a commodity to sell"
people should NEVER NEVER buy from pet stores but alot are very ignorant as to why
also a true mark of a society is how they treat their food animals
the first few lines were not as good as the last, it could be longer by about 4-8 lines I think - rethink the first few lines and yes a title would be good
2006-09-28 10:51:30 · answer #2 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you, those people who say this isn't a poem, poems basically have no limits. This was a poem to you and by all means then it becomes a poem. So what if you are sending a message, a poem's message can be your meaning or one of happiness, sorrow, hate or whatever.
I liked it. For one I have some of the same feelings you do. It touches home with me. It is plain, simple and nice to hear someone else has a similar view.
1-10 I'd give it a 8. It doesn't blow me away, but it's good. It's no emotional tapper, but I still really liked it. Don't stop writing, you are doing very good. I'm just one opinion, but there are many more out there who would like to read your words. If you go to church have them read it during a sermon. Why not? And if they won't....maybe you need to go to another church.
2006-09-28 18:27:42 · answer #3 · answered by troll05 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
4/10. It could use improvement. Examples: It could use a title, the second line could begin "Or" instead of repeating "Do you have", you need a verb before "to and fro".
Also, having animals on games and such things isn't failing to treat animals well, is it?
Definitely it's a good message to treat animals well, but how is anything you mentioned acting as if there's no tomorrow?
2006-09-28 06:32:33 · answer #4 · answered by Robert B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hmm...in general, i do like the poem..
but sumhow it sounds amateurish to me..
in fact u are addressing a serious issue, animal abuse.. but sumhow we dun feel comin across in ur poem...
i also feel the "do you" part in the first part of the poem rather redundant..
but its onli my own opinion ya..
in all, gd attempt...
i give u 6 over 10. :)
2006-09-28 06:20:13 · answer #5 · answered by lulu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that was bad. even though it only took me 7 seconds to read, i feel older now. Thats not even a poem and it barely makes sense
2006-09-28 07:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's a very good poem, everything has the right rythm and rhyme to it which is important. You seem to have a talent for writing. Best of luck in all you do. Thanks for sharing the poem, I'm honored to have read it!
2006-09-28 06:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by zekemilli4 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My master says ,It's a good start.
Woof ! Woof !Congratulations !
Woof ! Woof !
.
2006-09-28 06:33:28 · answer #8 · answered by ~Nan oru Naai~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not so bad but keep trying. you get better the more you work at it.
2006-09-28 09:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lame... Just plain old lame
2006-09-28 17:00:44 · answer #10 · answered by cheesedog73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋