my Grandma's death. How can I say goodbye?

Question

...I was wondering whether it would be ok for me to ask your advice on anotherproblem of which I have.
About 3+ years ago now my Grandmother of whom I was very close to died. I still don't really know how to move on and have a few questions of which I was wondering whether you could possibly help me with.
I never got to speak to her before she died and was also never allowed to attend her funeral. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can say goodbye to her now???
This may sound odd...but I sort of wanted to go to the garden of Rememeberence where her ashes are and say goodbye out loud. Can I do this? Or is this not normal& would I likely get stared at? please be honest.if this is the case then have you got any other ideas as to how I can say goodbye?

Answer 1

of course you can go and say goodbye out loud or however you wish. maybe take a photo of her and some flowers and spend some time there to grieve. this is normal so don't worry about what is acceptable or not. your grandma would be very proud of you :)

Answer 2

i dont think that you really have to say goodbye...i think that you might say "see you later"....at least that is how i have dealt with death of my close family members and friends...i believe that there is an afterlife and i figure that someday i will be headed the same way that they have gone and i will be with them again...
i think that going to the garden is a great idea...saying goodbye out loud is ok...this is really a very personal issue and if that is what you feel would help you go on with life then that is what you should do....what i have started doing in my personal life is praying for everyone i have been close to and that includes people who have died...i pray that Jesus protects and blesses each person as i say or think their name....i think that even when people have passed on that blessings can still come their way

i hope you find peace about your Grandmother...i am sure she is watching over you...

Answer 3

i think ur idea about the garden of remembarance is great. it is a good way to feel close to her and tell her how u feel. in sure in some shape or form she would be able to haer u.and if pps stare do not pay attention to them as they probably dont have anything intresting in their lives thats y they would pay attention to urs so just ignore them and get everything off ur chest. if u do feel self consious abt ppl staring just say ur goodbyes silently in ur head. im sure ur grandma will still hear u.

i know u want to go to the garden of rememberance because u will feel close to ur grandma there and it is a very good idea, but even if u dont do that just sit on ur bed and think good thoughts of ur grandma and speak to her siently in ur head sort of like a prayer. do that often. im sure she will hear u and appreciate the thought. and also im sure that she does not hold a grudge against u for not attending her funeral. be strong and remember ur grandmas spirit will be with u

Answer 4

honey it would be just fine for you to go to where her ashes are and say goodbye aloud if it is going to make you feel better. my daughter died when she was nine weeks old ( today would have been her 22nd birthday) but i still go to her grave and i talk to her . i talk out loud and although i know she can't answer me it makes me feel closer to her . i also talk to her at night when i'm getting ready to sleep but those times i just think of what i'd say cause i don't want my other kids wondering about me. i'm sure your grandma knows that you still love and miss her and it is my belief that the people we have loved and lost are watching over us from heaven and keeping us safe . another way you could say goodbye to your grandma would be writing to her , just write down all you would have liked to have said to her thenyou could either keep the letter in a private place in your room or burn it safely and put the ashes with her in the garden of rememberence.
in the end honey your grandma knew you loved her and thats all that matters . she wouldn't want you to be upset about not saying goodbye to her

Answer 5

Your desire to go to the garden is very apporiate You could write her a letter in case you think you might forget something.

My Dad died and he was cremated my Mom has him at home .She never learned to drive and she knew she couldn't get to a garden. She rites him letters and cards. There love was during WWII and she was used to writing to him. I bring fresh flowers to Mom during the winter when there is no garden .She keeps a vase for flowers by his ashes. She is 82 and blind now
and it comforts her to have him near

Answer 6

if thats how you want to say goodbye to your grandmother i say go for it. if you're worried about other people- don't, but you could always go early in the morning or sometime during the day when there's not too many people around. i have certain things i do for my loved ones that others would find weird.
when i visit my dad's grave- i stop at a convenience store a buy a can of copenhagen chewing tobacco. i put half the can on dad's grave and half on my uncle's grave. they both died with a chew in their mouths and my dad said when my uncle died and we found out that he had a chew in- dad said that if he had a chew in we'd know that he died happy.
i go to my son's grave on new year's eve and set off fireworks new years eve is his birthday and he loved fireworks, i buy the fireworks at fourth of july and save them until new years and then set them off- i don't buy more than 3 or 4 to set off- i've gotten stopped by the police- they came to the cemetery and told me i can't set off fireworks- i told them why i was doing it- they responded with- don't let us catch you again. well, they haven't caught me since, but i know its just because they're busy with other stuff on new years eve, they know its me ( we live in a fairly small town) and they know i don't care if they ticket me for it so they have left me alone to set off my fireworks. my other children go with me when we do this, one year i forgot to save any fireworks from the 4th and we used silly string instead and silly stringed his grave and each other.
you do what you want to say goodbye to your grandmother- and to remember her too.
one idea- you could buy a baloon and tie a note onto it and release it- put you're goodbye on the note and release the baloon at the remembrance garden.

Answer 7

Go there, tell her you love her and say goodbye...who would be so cruel not to allow you to attend the funeral? Stay and cry, laugh, remember...She'll be with you. God Bless

Answer 8

hi
sorry to hear about your grandma
and yes you should go where they have her ashes and say what's in your heart it don't matter what people thinks about it but no what you need to say so just do it.
wising you all the best lines

Answer 9

go to where her ashes are. Don't worry about what anyone would think. Or go to someone else that she may have been extremely close to. Talk to him or her about it and she may hear you.

Answer 10

i personally feel that in such circumstances the best contact is spirit to spirit....if u really feel about her, kneel down in your prayers and make a silent prayer for her with a wish that u want to say bye as well as meet her one day....it will work.