Ive lived with my bf for 3 years, I do all the cleaning and its starting to get me down as all he does is come home from work and sit on his ar$e! I work full time too and look after the house....what should I do, or are most blokes like this?? Thanks
2006-09-27 21:00:24 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks guys for your help, I think we'll be having that little chat tonight!
2006-09-27 21:14:44 · update #1
No you should not have to do all the house work. Your boy freind needs to relise that he is in a partnership. And that he only needs to help out with the house work. He is being selfish. So let me guess. He will not help you around the house. But he still expects sex from you. If this is the case. Tell him so sex untill he learns that there is to people in the relationship and that they both need to work together at everthing.I have my self been told the same. Only in my case. I do help around the house even after a hard day's work. But still no sex. But then i hope to god that thee is not anther woman out there with the same thinking as my wife. So you realy need to talk to that boy freind of yours. And set him streight. Good luck.
2006-09-27 21:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jobs should be shared.... this doesn't necessarily mean that you clean half the house each but the amount of work you put in at home should be about the same. If he does a lot of DIY, looks after the cars, walks the dog etc, then those jobs should be taken into account but if like my sisters bloke, he just sits on his fat ar5e when he gets in from work, then it's unfair & he's just a lazy bugger!
Me ...... I do the hoovering etc but don't do any clothes washing or ironing. I sort the bills out & do all the car related stuff. My better half does more cooking than me ........ it all balances out :)
2006-09-27 21:04:59 · answer #2 · answered by nickthesurfer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys are like this ;-) and I have been (and am) in the same situation. Confrontation doesn't work with me cos I'll leave the place like a shlthole and not bother, however a sit down chat of how you feel and how it's getting you down, and how your b/f could help will stir his protective instinct for about a week and he'll help. This is short term solution and you'll need to have these "little chats" on a regular basis - sorry!
2006-09-27 21:10:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a perfect example of what makes women get a bit resentful of men.
if you are both working full time, he does not need a degree to know that he should be pitching in. don't go all soft , but also don't let it become an obsession , so that you become the classic nag. he has sat on his thingy because why get up ,when a martyr is at work. have a friendly discussion , and tell him that if he is unable to help ,that he will need to help pay for a cleaner to come in.
unfortunately some men just couldn't be bothered and seem quite happy to live in filth. perhaps you should get a bit lazy ,so that he does not have a clean shirt or feels embarressed when friends come over. Tell him you don't want to resort to those tactics to get your point accross , but you also don't want to feel resentful.
2006-09-27 21:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by saywot? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both of you are working full-time, then you both need to share the housework equally. Your mistake was in doing everything for three years, so now your boyfriend is used to not having to lift a finger. Sit him down, explain that the free ride is over, and together work out a roster of who will do what around the house.
2006-09-27 21:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most blokes are like this, they need a swift kick up the ****.
Tell him to start pulling his weight or you're leaving.
He probably doesnt even realise how much you do, leave it for a week so he has no clean clothes and the house is a mess and the cupboards are empty, he'll soon buck his ideas up when you are sat on your **** doing nothing!
2006-09-27 21:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by neogriff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be ideal if people of equal levels of neatness lived together, and there "mixed relationships" didn't exist; because I don't necessarily think there's an answer for you.
No. You shouldn't be doing all the cleaning. You should ask this person to do his share. The problem is if he doesn't do it now it may be because he doesn't care about it, and if he gets "assigned" the job of cleaning the floor he probably won't do it - because he doesn't care that it gets done. You get the choice of doing the work or else living in the mess he likes to wallow in. You can't win, can you...
I vote for you breaking up with this person and linking up with someone who will clean and who cares about it! (Or else you just have to be ok with the Cinderella routine.)
2006-09-27 21:09:59 · answer #7 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both have only one job and work the same hours, then both should share the house work! Plus I think a lot has to do with the type of work as well. But even so, he should help!
2006-09-27 21:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I split all the house work with my gf. She works full time I would not expect her in any way to do all the household chores. We also take in turn cooking and washing the cars. The best thing you could do is stop doing the house work..he will soon notice!!
2006-09-27 21:04:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him not us how you are feeling. sit him down and let him know that you have a full time jobs just the same as him and that you are tired of cleaning behind him. if he loves you and respect your feelings then he should take some of the load with no problems but if he doesn't change you have to decide if you want to stay or go. good luck
2006-09-27 21:04:25 · answer #10 · answered by TNW22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋