I have been married for almost 20 years and found out the whole time nearly the whole time I have been deceived and I am not doing well I am afraid to be alone, after being with him so long, how will I start over, will I find someone else I hate the thought of being alone, but then on the other hand I got married young and never really got to party, but when that is over, I will
not wanna be alone, and my kids will not have their father around they are grown up some, but still........
2006-09-27 19:05:13 · 11 answers · asked by angel b 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You'll be fine. It hurts now, but you are going to start building inner strength to get through. You've got to be strong for your children. Don't start looking for anyone right now. You need to deal with the changes in your life before you begin looking for someone. Partying is great, but parties eventually end. Focus on your children, put all of your attention on them, maybe they can sleep with you in bed until you start feeling better. You don't need a man to survive, you have to believe that. Eventually someone will come around, but take care of your priorities first(you and your kids).
2006-09-27 19:24:24 · answer #1 · answered by curly98 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation and Divorce are always difficult matters, I can only imagine after twenty years, what You are going through. I suppose it is the same pain as someone close dying, at least it is going to feel like that for a while. But eventually things will get better. You need to fill Your time with Your Children, and hopefully Your good Friends will step forward to be there for You. And when the time comes, remember the song, Hero, it says, I need a Hero, I'm looking out for a Hero by the end of the night, He's got to be strong, and He's got to be right, and He's got to be good for the fight. Just look at the fight as life, and He will fight for You, Your honor, Your love, and for good things to always be there for You and Your Children.
Some guys can be jerks, just please know that all men aren't.
Hold Your Head Up, and in time it will get better.
2006-09-28 02:20:44 · answer #2 · answered by Rusty Jo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To get over any loss you have to allow yourself time to grieve the loss & work through it. Talk as much as you can with family or friends to try to get through it. You're better off starting again, even though 20 years is a long time isn't it better to now be able to go out there & possibly find something a whole lot more real for you? You can't do that when you're stuck & you owe it to yourself to have as good a life as possible.
2006-09-28 02:26:51 · answer #3 · answered by shirazzza 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Realize that life is a journey and never a destination so there is no end. However there are many beginnings, and just know that the purpose of life is a life of purpose. Give yourself a purpose, whatever it may be your kids, developing yourself, etc. A good purpose is to be content of everything in one's life, no matter what the shortcomings are. In this world of temptations and bombarding influences we forget ourselves very easily, so partying and things like that will only give you momentary pleasure. Permanent happiness can only be achieved by contentment, and then you r neither happy nor sad, you are in a state of bliss.
2006-09-28 02:12:18 · answer #4 · answered by splintercellgod17 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes u have to sit down and evaluate your life with the man you have been with for 20 years. You dont have to be alone. Do u have any close friends? You really need them right now and if they are your true friends, they will stand by you 100%. They will support your and guide you through this diffiicult time.As for the deadbeat, steer clear of that a--hole and start over fresh. U deserve it. Good Luck!!
2006-09-28 02:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by good4u06@verizon.net 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it will never end,sorry,i like you got married at a very young age and really before life began,if you mean by decieved as cheated on,then youve been alone a very long time and didnt know it,if your kids are grown,get your life in order(this is very hard to do) but it all starts with babysteps,when you were born you had to crawl before you could walk.Stop thinking about how and worrying,worry will haunt you always,think more on how with a positive attitude and keep things simple and before you know it youll have walked instead of crawled,but only you can do it,no one else...hope you find whats missing in the hole in your soul...best of luck
2006-09-28 02:25:34 · answer #6 · answered by stygianwolfe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't think about being alone. If you don't want to be with your husband anymore, what else can you do? It's better to end the relationship if you feel there's nothing left to do.
I think you could find someone so that you wouldn't feel alone. There are lots of men out there, remember that.
2006-09-28 02:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by meche 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes it is hard but you will find someone else but don't look the saying is goood things will happen when you least expect it .it will be ard at first but keep busy and get into a support group it wil be fine i did it so if i did it i know you can
2006-09-28 02:13:49 · answer #8 · answered by dee d 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your children will be fine. you will live...it will hurt but you will live. get out, enjoy life, put God in your life and you will never be alone. you dont need a man in order to be a whole woman.
2006-09-28 02:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by goldie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i suggest that you enjoy being single as for now. being happy does not depend if you have a steady relationship., regarding the kids im sure they will truly understand you...move on...
2006-09-28 02:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by star 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋