Shall I take my 7 years old daughter to a child psychologist...?

Question

I am a divorcee and living along with my aged Mom. My daughter simply hates studying (though she is sharp!) and likes talking all the time. Talks roughly with her Grandma and refuse her instructions on every occasion. She is naughty and always go against us. What should be done in such cases...!

Answer 1

Seek advice from your pediatrician. She/He is more qualified to answer that question. I was like your daughter and turned out just fine. I am a very feisty lady, part of my character, but the doc can weed out real problems vvs behaviour.

Divorce is especially hard on we children - she may be acting out.

Answer 2

A visit to her school might be a good first step... ask her teacher how she gets along with adult guidance in that setting and you may get some clues. A psychologist may be in order, too, but seek a few answers on your own first. Seven years old means that your daughter has reached "the age of reason" and she is exercising her own ability to size up the world. She's realizing her own ability and becoming independent. That's not bad; it's good.

For the record, you seem a little quick to judge and condemn your daughter - "She is naughty and always goes against us." I wonder if she might be thinking something of the opposite nature - "They are mean and they always gang up on me." You may need to reflect on her point of view, figure out her take of things, be on her side from time to time and perhaps soften up your approach with a few more options in her favor - I think she may be in need of a team-mate. See what Grandma thinks about this thought... if she thinks there's something to it; you two might try alternating as your daughter's advocate.

I've raised four children, two of each sex and two were testy at around seven years old... Kids always want to know the limit that a parent will stand. Again you'll need to consult Grandma and figure out a good level of tolerance for your daughter's misbehaviors, if that's what it all comes down to. "Spare the rod and spoil the child"... but use the rod too willingly and without prudence... and you'll spend a few years in prison.

Good luck to all of you.

[][][] r u randy? [][][]

P.S., garfields... has a point. An adult psychologist is probably better experienced in the profession. LOL

Answer 3

It sounds like she's reacting to the disintergration of her world as she knew it which the divorce would've caused. I suspect she takes it out on her grandmother cuz her father isn't there to take her anger. She's probably angry about (among other things) the fact that, in her mind, it should be him living with u 2, not her. She's 7, she doesn't have the language or perception n understanding of adult matters to be able to communicate to u how she's feeling without getting angry or upset- ur too closely emotionally involved in this whole thing. It would be a good idea to seek out an Aunty or Teacher she trusts to speak with her regularly, maybe even a counsellor but stop short of a psychologist just yet. She doesn't sound like an abnormal child, just a very confused, frustrated, frightened and angry one. Its not easy on u granted BUT u had some sort of choice in this situation, ur daughter did not (& she knows that) therefore she is going to feel at least a lil resentment towards u AND ur ex husband. Be patient with her and find someone she can speak with whom she trusts too. She won't stay angry forever.

Answer 4

Save your money. She probably won't listen to a psychologist. Spank her. That's what God gave her a butt for. It's not going to kill her and it's not child abuse. My parents did it and I respect other people. And I'm a better person because of it. Teach her respect. take television away or any priviledge that she likes whenever she disrespects her grandma. keep her in line or she will be worse when she is older. Don't enable her to have her own way. She might be acting out because of the divorce or mad at you that she has to live with her grandma. Tell her that she needs to adjust to the situation. But it's not her fault. Try having her dad talk to her. Maybe he's more stern with her. Hope it helps.

Answer 5

I would try disciplining her first. Set down rules if she disobeys them. Give her a punishment. No TV, friends over etc... She will probably change her behavior. She may also be acting out from something that is going on in her life, has she had any big changes lately? I would try to handle it at home as a parent first, if that does not work. Then think about taking her to a therapist.
Good Luck.

Answer 6

Some parenting class's or even a GOOD parenting book may help.Kids need consistency and everyone on the same page. If she doesn't respond there may be other issues, but usually it is a family problem ,not an an individual child's problem.

Answer 7

sounds like a good idea to me if for no other reason it gives her an outside person to talk to that is not involved in the immediate every day part of her life that is objective without any preconcieved ideas about her. as for the not wanting to study part shes seven and its not suprising that she doesnt want to at all. i hated to study all the way through school until i hit university where it was my choice to be and i was an a+ student through highschool and university............oh hell i didnt even do my homework in highschool i would be more interested in her behaviour then study habits. i dont think it could make anything worse for her to have someone to talk to about the divorce and her grandmother living with you thats a lot of change to deal with.

Answer 8

Are you giving your daughter enough attention? Is she jealous of the time you give to your Mom? This is a very hard adjustment for a child. Can you approach your daughter about the situation in a positive, loving manner?

Answer 9

she is a child, you are in control. talk to her, find out what is wrong by listening to what she had to say and watching her. my daugther is 7 and my mom just died. she was acting the same exact way, your daughter is acting out because of the changes she has endured. why pay a psychologist to do what a mother should be doing in the first place. she needs your attention. she needs to talk to YOU...not a stranger.

Answer 10

Put your foot down. Who is the mother here? You should make her mind, no matter what, since you know what is best and you are training a young lady for society.
Sometimes kids have problems, but it is my experience that it is the parent being to soft and eventually giving in, eventually teaching the kid bad habits to get their way.