My daughter confided something in me, that is very personal and could jeopardize her whole future, it was some information I really wish I didn't have to hear, but I did, although she was wrong and I tried to help her thru her decision, I broke her confidence in me not to say anything and shared it with another family memeber because I was so very worried about her, it then leaked out and now the whole family knows and she is embarassed and worried about how everyone feels about her, we all want her to just make the right choices and clear this matter up, my son says I had to talk to someone about this, and she shouldn't be upset with me, she says she isn't, but she hasn't called, I never mean't to hurt her or betray her trust in me, how can I make her understand, I was only trying to get answers on how to help her. We are very close, and it breaks my heart that I let her down, do you think she will forgive me.
2006-09-27 17:35:49 · 20 answers · asked by snickerdoodle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Of course she will........You shouldn't have shared the info though (which i am sure that you already know). Life is about making mistakes and learning lessons. I think that you learned a big one here.....She will have to regain trust in you mom, and this will take time......Give her a chance to get over her hurt and anger first..........Take care and remember that we all have made mistakes.................
2006-09-27 17:39:26 · answer #1 · answered by mizzzzthang 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother has told my secrets before, so I have learned not to tell her something that I don't mind being teased about at holiday get-togethers. Seriously, though, it sounds like this was a very important issue to her, and from my point of view, you betrayed her. The "I had to talk to someone" explanation is a cop-out. Don't make excuses for what you did. Breaking her confidence really wasn't about her at all. You broke her confidence because you couldn't handle what she told you, so you needed to get it off your chest. You were very selfish.
The best thing you can do is call her or write her a note and apologize. Like I said, don't make excuses or offer explanations. Just tell her you were wrong, you regret it, and you are sorry. If you really are close, she will forgive you, but it might take a while. You're not my mom, but I'm a little angry at you myself!
If a girl can't trust her mother, who can she trust?
2006-09-28 00:44:31 · answer #2 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In time, yes, she will forgive you, and being a parent myself I can feel empathy for how you feel right now. Sometimes what our children tell us upsets/worries us so much we HAVE to talk it out with someone. (If I were you I'd lay some of the blame on the family member you trusted who let your daughter's secret "leak" out!) In time she'll see you did have her best interests at heart, in the meantime, give her the space she needs to calm down from what she SEES as a betrayal. I know from your words you were not trying to betray her, only get the best help possible. If you were close before this, you will be again. God bless you both honey.
2006-09-28 01:00:43 · answer #3 · answered by Daydream Believer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, mothers and daughters. She will forgive you but I wouldn't count on her confiding in you again. Don't be too hard on yourself though. You did what any good mother would do, you sought help for your daughter. Unfortunately in doing so you were blinded by your concern and didn't think about the outcome of you actions by asking the people you did, and perhaps should have asked outside sources. But hindsight is a terrible thing.
You have apologized to her and that's all you can do. The rest is up to her. Just give her time to calm down and she will, and once she does things will be back to normal. I'm sure!
By the way,when I was 16, my mother not only read my diary but showed it to the neighbors once when we were fighting and it embarrassed me beyond belief. I didn't speak to her for a couple months over that one but eventually everything was forgiven. Time has a way of making things better. It will for you too.
2006-09-28 00:46:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she will forgive you and is probably already in the process. She may need some time to realize why you spoke to someone else about her well being. Give her some space and then call her in a few days to make a date with each other. Enjoy the outing and don't get heavy on her. If she wants to bring it up, let her. Good Luck. It's hard being a young woman and some day she will know how hard it is to be a loving Mom.
2006-09-28 00:42:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not an expert but i can say you can tell her that the family will be behind her and everyone loves her. you can tell her that you want to be a part of her life and so does the other family member. You give her a heart to heart talk and you mean it. don't just say stuff to be saying stuff. You got to realize that kids want to be understood but if you got to work with them on how that feel about a certain situation, it only makes the relationship stronger. this is just a stepping stone don't let you daughter get you down. build on that relationship by tell her that i understand how you feel and i want to tell you how i feel and what we will both do is listen to each other and don't interrupt her let her told and vice verse. even if you have to write it on paper let her know how you feel and she can do the same and it wont be any confusion about the situation.
2006-09-28 00:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by liljov2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is hard. It is great that she confided in you but I think the first step to her truly forgiving you is you understanding what you did wrong here. She Confided in you. Do you know how rare that is for mothers and daughters? You betrayed her- even if you needed answers, she needed you to be more than her mom, she needed a friend. Realize where you went wrong and sincerely apologize. Dont justify or muddy up what you did or why you did it. We understand, but she wont she is obviously going through something where she needs you. She will come around. Best of luck to you.
2006-09-28 00:40:38 · answer #7 · answered by BeautyMark 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Relax, family is forever. Call her, explain this to her, get your wife in on it, or whoever it was that you told. It's for the better that it is out in the open, embarrassment or no embarrassment. She might have a while where she will feel like she can't look anyone in the eye. But this will pass. I went through a similar situation with my parents. Things now are better than they ever were, I don't feel like I have to hide things as much.
2006-09-28 00:41:18 · answer #8 · answered by escobacabeza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a lesson to be learned here. First, if you must betray her trust and talk to someone, choose a professional counselor, a pastor, but not friends or someone in the family. I know as a mother you felt and perhaps needed to talk to someone in order to help you deal with it or/and help your daughter. I recommend family counseling. I have heard of daughters that have never spoken to their moms for years. Please don't ignore this and hope she will come around. It sounds like both of you could benefit with professional family counseling. God bless.
2006-09-28 00:52:05 · answer #9 · answered by princeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
SHE WILL FORGIVE YOU EVENTUALLY...... you have to realize her point of veiw she must have alot of trust and respect for her to come to you in the first place about this matter, i'm 20 and i don;t tell my dad much at all. she will forgive but she may not trust you as much as she use to she may not be able to feel like she can trust you in the way she use to. let me know how you go
good luck "a girl is always daddy's little one"
mel
2006-09-28 00:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋