I find it fairly annoying that some women would find one man's gestures/comments "cute" or "flattering" and other's "bad" and "repulsive", enough to report them.
I came to the conclusion that sexual harassment applies only to someone that is in a bad mood or if one party does not find the other attractive enough.
It seems something that has been put into place to protect people is getting completely twisted.
Any experience/viewpoint on this?
2006-09-27 16:55:57 · 23 answers · asked by ♥ ms. @ ♥ 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
The U.S. Military had such problems with Sexual Harassment that they developed a special definition for it. According to the military, "Sexual harrassment" is repeated and unwanted advances of a sexual nature.
By this definition, someone could ask everyone they know for the same crude, sexual comment once without ever getting in trouble, because it is not repeated to any of them. Someone could also badger people nonstop to go have dinner and a movie with them forever, and because it is not of a sexual nature, they would be able to get away with that. Also, someone could ask someone else for sexual favors all the time, and so long as the other person enjoys the attention, there's no problem...
However, I certainly wouldn't want to hear it, and if I overheard this sort of thing more than once from the same person, even if they were talking to someone else, I could report them.
Sexual harassment does work both ways. I was molested as a child, and get really nervous when anyone, even a smoking hot babe, starts coming on to me. That doesn't qualify for the military definition of sexual harassment, because I turn into such a jerk that there's no way it would be "repeated," and I really can't call it "Unwanted," but if there's a girl in one of my classes that does come on to me, I'll have to drop the class or I'll fail, it's just too much of a distraction knowing that if I wasn't so screwed in the head I could be getting that tail.
2006-09-27 18:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by ye_river_xiv 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was under the impression that sexual harassment is any behavior which makes you uncomfortable to the point where you are not able to do your job properly. For example, if you are walking down the hall and a co worker blocks your path, they aren't letting you get your work done so that can qualify as sexual harassment. They are using their masculinity to overpower you in this situation and that is a credible form of sexual harassment. I'm not sure if the rules are different in different work environments, but I work for a school district and I think that the rules need to be stricter when there could be children involved.
My mom once told me that as an attractive woman you just need to get used to the harassment and get a tough skin because there's really nothing you can do to prevent it. I'm not sure how true this statement is, but I definitely don't take every vague comment about my appearance seriously. It's just too many to fight. You have to choose your battles.
2006-09-27 18:32:33 · answer #2 · answered by Gorgeous 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of sexual harassment claims are means for a young girl to get attention. The law is distorted in many ways, and there is nothing that you can do about it. Many of the women are actually sexually harassed though. If you were to single out the ones who want attention or revenge (for something you did that they didn't like) from the ones who are really harassed, there would be less than half of the reports there are today.
2006-09-27 17:08:02 · answer #3 · answered by durr_tee_durr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I saw a first hand experience of a coworker at a former job. He made a comment about a dress a lady was wearing which did not seem to be all that bad as he is a married man and responsible. The lady contacted someone in higher authority and he was fired on the spot. Now when a man truly is obnoxious or lewd, I can understand but for something petty I cannot.
2006-09-27 17:06:08 · answer #4 · answered by toughguy2 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean, but the laws cannot be changed because not all people see harrassment as flirting or being cute. If one person were to get off with harrassing someone because it was considered harmless by one person and cute as another etc, then this would in turn set precedence for instances in all cases of this nature, which in turn would have a dire result on those cases that have merit and should be brought to justice.
It should be a requirement in any workplace that any inuendo, flirting etc that is found acceptable by a staff member be kept out of the workplace.
2006-09-27 17:00:04 · answer #5 · answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree with you. Once upon a job...long ago, I commented on a male co-workers "bum-baas" (butt). Well, at the time he smiled as if he wanted to welcome the compliment, but later became two-faced and reported me. Although I held back from touching...I was written up for sexual harassment. I was working at a public relations firm in the late '70's. Oh well, I didn't stay at that firm for long. Sometimes, we fall victim at another's hand. Presently, I have refrain from making compliments to the opposite sex in the workplace. I do however, will tell my personal friends how well they are groomed... as needed!
2006-09-27 17:13:21 · answer #6 · answered by Ms-No-It-All 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know someone well enough to know how they will feel about your cute and flattering comments, then you should not be making them.
Your conclusion is wrong, short sited, and condescending.
I once had a coworker who went from casually asking how my weekend went to leaving me weird voice mails and constantly trying to touch me. I never welcomed his touches in any way and he got the hint. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but several years later it came up and my boss told he was I would have said something.
2006-09-27 17:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Katherine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually I do. It was about 10 years ago while working at a bank. I had to go in for a seminar, and the instructor was cute. I went up said hi, thought she liked me. She even stopped by my desk a couple times after that. I caught wind that her and her friend were going to a bar one night. I stopped by...we talked, everything was cool. Next day I was warned by my boss that this was not cool. So, I just backed off completely...she still would wave and say hi...but I just ignored her after that stunt.
2006-09-27 17:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by Chistiaŋ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree. To me, sexual harassment is... If a man OR woman is touching, or speaking to me in an inappropriate way, and I tell them to stop or that I don't like what they are doing.
Those who scream sexual harassment to someone because they don't find them attractive, is a complete idiot.
2006-09-27 17:01:38 · answer #9 · answered by ExoticKiss 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sexual harassment is for men/women,that are being harassed sexually when not wanting to be.........If you are not interested in that person and that person wont leave u alone that could be come a problem...that person could end up beeing ifactuated with you, and stock you ,or even worse rape and kill ya!!!! SO BE VARY CAREFUL A LOT OF WEIRED PEOPLE OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-09-27 17:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by rachael z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋