My aunt is slowing dieing of cancer, and I am having a hard time with it. I dont know what to do for her. Help

Question

My aunt is dieing with cancer. It is hurting everyone and I am having a really hard time with it. She is really close to me and I dont want to lose her. I have never had someone close to me die, and I know one day I am going to pick up the phone and its going to be my mom say "Jessica you need to come home we need to talk something happened." I dont know what to do.

Answer 1

This site gives details of cancer, the cancer industry, and some links to natural cures.
Cancer
http://dgwa1.fortunecity.com/body/cancer.html

Answer 2

My suggestion is to give her all the love and support you can. Tell her how much she means to you and how she's made your life better. Talk about all the fun you've had and whatever else comes up. Don't stay away from her because once she's gone she's gone and then you can have no regrets. The end of life brings a depth to experience that is a wonderful thing.
You will grieve and miss her. That is part of life. Just try to do what's right and live so you have regrets. Should have/could have/would have thoughts can ruin your life.

It is very hard to deal with death. I don't know how old you are, but it's a hard fact of life that we die. Showing your love to someone dying has its own rewards. I am so glad that I could be with my Dad when he passed on. I cared for my Mom when she had cancer, but I live about a thousand miles away from where she was and I finally had to come home and care for my kids. I hope that your Aunt has good care and they can keep her from having too much pain. Try to keep her laughing. Laughing helps everyone feel better.

Answer 3

Never give up!!! There is a juice on the market called Goji juice some people were diagnosed with cancer and after taking it for a month the tumors shrank and they regained their health of course it
depends how far the cancer has progressed and what type of cancer it is, but building up the immune system in a cancer patient never hurts, I feel personally that Doctors zap patients too much with radiation and chemotherapy destroying their immune system and their strength to fight the illness.
Gogi Juice builds up the person's strength and immune system.
If it happens your Aunt does die just
remember the good points about her as a person and also know that she would want you to be strong and carry on in life,sometimes volunteering helps
us to help others and help ease painful memories.

Answer 4

I just went through that last Dec. so I know what you are going through. I took care of my Aunt through her cancer ordeal and we became best friends during that time. It was hard when the end came but it was inevitable. She had taken care of my mother when she was dying so I was going to make sure she was going to have the best care possible also.

There really isn't anything you can do to prepare yourself to make it any easier. Be there for her and spend as much time with her as you can and remember she is still your aunt and not just a cancer patient.

Try to treat her like you always have. Try to get her to laugh and if she is able to, get her to do things she likes to do like gardening, shopping going to the movies, whatever it is she likes. Just don't let her slip into that "Auntie can't do things anymore because she has cancer" category. If she is still able to get around she should be active. That helped my aunt so much. She took the 3 months she was given and by not giving in to her sickness and staying active, she lived another year and 2 months!

The best you can do is be there for her and let her know you love her. When she passes it will hurt no matter what but if you can get the most out of what time you have left with her, you will always have those memories to fondly look back on.

Take care and I'm so sorry for what you and your family is going through.

Answer 5

Visit, visit, visit. My Brother just passed away a four and a half weeks ago. I live almost 570 miles from there and I drove down there a lot. You will be glad you did. You will have good memories and will be thankful that you visited. How long has she been ill? My prayers will be with you and your family. Losing a family member is extremely hard. Does she have a favorite song? Sing with other family members to her. My Sisters and I did that and to see the smile on that face is priceless and it will stay with you forever. I know what you're going through. You hang in there and be strong for not only her, but for yourself. Seriously though the singing thing lifted everyone's spirits!!! Even though some voices were totally off key, the smile and the light in the eyes is priceless in these hard times.

Answer 6

You can do some wonderful things for your aunt while she is still here. Take some hand lotion softly rub it into her hands/arms, while doing so talk to her about the past and up to present day. Take a book and sit down and read to her. Tell her what she has meant to you all through your life...find some special moments shared in laughter and remind her of those, so as to laugh together once again. Take a cd of her favorite music and play it for her while you polish her nails or something. Let her know she will be missed and loved very very much. Ask what she would like you to do next for her...like wash her hair and style it? Share a piece of pie together. Hold her hand/hands while you talk to her. Remind her in heaven there is no pain and someday it will be gone. To please look down upon you and somehow let you know she is there. A breeze of wind, a tug on your blouse etc. Last but not least say a Prayer with her and kiss her on the cheek or forehead.

Answer 7

I lost a sister to breast cancer in 1996. All you can do is enjoy the time you have. You know that your time with her is limited so you can use it wisely. Make a scrap book and share it with her. Going over your happy memories with her while you can will give you better memories to hold onto in the future. Try to be strong and not breakdown in front of her but let her know how much you care for her and that you will miss her very much when she is gone. Don't let anything go unsaid. If you owe her an apology for anything ,or a thank you for something(even if it was years ago) give it to her now. Sorry about your Aunt and I wish the best for both of you.

Answer 8

I'm so sorry you're going through this! My mom died of cancer, so I know a little bit about what you're going through now.

What you can do is listen to her. Everyone handles death, their own and those of other people, differently. She may even feel differently about it from day to day, hour to hour. Sometimes she'll want to visit and talk about what's happening, other times, she'll want to talk about anything else, to keep her mind off it. Still other times, she won't want company at all.

My mother often just wanted someone to sit quietly with her. Some days, she wanted me to bring her foods she liked (liver and onions - ick), even though she'd only eat a bite or two.

I don't know if this helps you at all, but it's hard because it should be. Hear me out, please. What is bigger in human experience than birth, death and love? What deserves our strongest emotions more? You're scared because you probably can't envision your world without her in it, because you love her, and she loves you. This is Big Stuff. To just go through it without a hiccup seems wrong.

Of course, your life will go on, and a piece of it will be a testament to that relationship which was so important to you. She had something to do with who you are, who you will be - a kind of immortality. One day, you will think of her, and you won't think of all of this - you'll remember the good stuff and feel warmed.

Meantime, just try to give her what she wants, whatever that seems to be, respect the process she's going through, and be open to any moment that comes along, however brief, to experience again the things you love about her.

When my mom went into the hospital for the last time, she was still cracking jokes. When she couldn't talk any more, she wrote jokes on the nurse's clipboard. At the time, that made me cry. Now, I think about how funny and strong she was, and just hope that I can carry those traits with me, and pass them along. Good luck...

Answer 9

well dear let me just say it is never easy. the same thing happend to me a little over a year ago with my aunt. she was so close to raised me nd everything and then poof she was gone. one thing i can tell u is sit with her and talk about all the good times u guys have had together get her to laugh no crying allowed it makes it harder . find out if there is one lat thing u gy can do together and do it . no matter wha it costs or takes just do it even if it is going out to dinner or shopping . one last memory to remember . stay by her side through it all and keep talking about all the good times. if u need someone to talk to or get advice just email me and i will ty to help. i will pray for u and ur family esp. u and ur aunt in this very hard time in this shitty life

Answer 10

I know what you mean, I've been there (6 months ago) with my
Dad. Just be there for her every step of the the way. She'll
die peacefully knowing you were there for her. I would go visit
my dad at home as much as I could. Until his last dieing day.
Watch him give his last breath until he left us. But since I live
in Fresno, Ca. and he buried in Los Angeles (Culver City) I now go every month to his grave site. His Birth-Day just passed
and my Family and I had a big dinner at my sisters house.
And the next day we all met up at the cemetery to finish celebrating his b-day. That's how we keep him with us in our
hearts. You can do the same for her when she's gone.
Just remember she will always be with you in heart -n- soul.
Yes, something like this is always hard to deal with. Talk to
your mother, siblings,father or boy-friend. Just let them know
how you feel. You need a bear hug.

Answer 11

I just lost my mom to cancer in November 2004.
All you can do is let her know how much you love her. Meet her needs to the best of your ablility. That's all anyone can do.
It will get to the point things are so bad for your aunt, you will want it (death) to come quickly for her sake. (Cancer is that way)
Nothing will ease the pain when she passes. Only time.