How can men learn partner dances? Read the rest...?

Question

As a man, I find it extremely difficult to learn new moves in partner dances.
All women have to do is dance with men who are better than they are, and they learn new moves!
I can dance with a woman who is better than I am, but she just gets bored because I'm expected to lead everything!

I'm in my fifth semester of Salsa but you'd swear I hadn't finished my second. I sit and watch good dancers but they move too fast for me to see what they do.
I know the best answer is to find a steady partner, but it's not like those just fall out of the sky: I've been looking for one all through college, in vain.

HOW CAN MEN LEARN NEW MOVES IF WE'RE ALREADY SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEM ALL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Answer 1

I'm afraid it's like this in all social dances. Followers will always learn faster, because it's relatively easy to follow something which is led correctly - that's why leading works! Comparatively it takes much, much longer to become a good leader. There's really not much to be done about this: all you can do is take as many classes as you can, and be patient. Sorry.

Answer 2

I'm a follower, so I don't know how much useful info I can actually provide, but I'm a competitve dancer who agressively learned how to improve my dancing rather than just having fun as a follower.

1. Get as much dancing experience as you can. Even if it means dancing will less interesting followers.

2. If you are taking classes at the same place for a long time - go to some other classes in addition or instead. You could use new input. Different instructors explain the same things differently, and sometimes it finally clicks when someone explains it in a new way.

3. Dancing isn't just about steps. Technique is very important. It is not there just for looks or "styling" as they say. It is there to make you a better dancer, better leader (or follwer). Concentrate on your technique, on the quality not on the quantity of steps. With that, Quantity will come easier.

4. Did you ever try taking a private lesson? If you try to lead the good teacher into the move that doesn't work, she/he should be able to explain why the move isn't working. Social dancers have no obligation to do so. Moreover, it is concidered rude by many people if someone's tryng to correct the other on the social dance floor. This is why you see the sour face, but she won't tell you what's wrong. Also, most of the time, even experienced followers who are not teachers simply don't know how to explain what's not working.

If it makes you feel any better, competitve followers have to continue on improving and learning without a leader when they don't have a partner. If they want to keep dancing that is. Dancing as a follower without a partner is even harder. ;-)

Oh, yeah, I'd recommend posting your profile on http://www.ballroomdancers.com and on http://www.dancepartner.com to facilitate the search of steady partner.

Answer 3

My wife and I have been taking lessons for about 1 year, we started with a group class. After few months of this I decided the only way I'm ever going to do this (I'm 66 and never danced) is Private lessons.
This certainly helped but a week after the lesson it was what the heck did we do?
Then we started writing the new Steps down at the end of the lesson. There is a way to do that the instructor should be able to show you. We'd have him check it then at home I could work on the steps by myself for a few minutes. Now I can do most of the steps we've been taught most of the time but the key for me was the writing down of what we learned and some practice.
O it all works so nice when we're the only ones on the floor, but when all those others show up it's like driving through a busy intersection in Rome. I haven't solved that part of the problem yet.

Answer 4

I don't really think a video is the solution to this problem 'cause, when you're in a live situation, and you mess up one of those moves you drilled or your partner does something else, all that video learnin' goes to sh**. So, I'd say just keep practicing with people. But not with folks that show you stuff by themselves doing it, and doing the steps really fast, and going to the next thing. That's just like a video. Like you said, you might need a steady partner that could show you the moves. They don't fall out of the sky. True. But that's what you need to really help you learn the steps, is individual attention. You will have to suck it up and call a couple of people and see who is free and who would have the time and patience to do it. If you wanna know how to do those moves for real, you'd call.
It's the only way.
Or enter a dance class that is more person-to-person based.

Answer 5

I just stared a with a dance lesson/group. It's nice because the Intermediate and Advanced dancers (you'd probably be in that category due to the # of lessons) stick around for the other classes to help the Basics (like me)-- I wouldn't know how great/bad you are because I'm still learning. Is there anything like that were you're taking lessons?

Answer 6

Try checking out your local library or video store / catalog for partner dances. The instructers take their time to show you the steps, and of course, you can hit the "pause" button anytime!

And, when all else fails, count the beat!

Good Luck!