A close friend of mine had gone through a cutting phase, which she sought professional help for, which seemed to fix the problem. Now she's going through a rough patch in her life with her different personal problems, and as a way to cope, she's gone back to the cutting. Her family has found out, and I know they'll make her go for help again. Is there any specific advice I could give though, or something I could do that will open her eyes, or make her react to things differently, so this won't be a continually persisting problem?
2006-09-27 11:44:01 · 11 answers · asked by andy_pann 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
As well intended as any advice you plan on giving your friend, believe me, professional counseling is the only thing that will help her.
This type of self inflicted mutilation is deeply rooted. The desire to punish herself for something she feels guilty about or her need for attention are two of the main causes.
'Cutters', as they are commonly called, will only momentarily react to stimuli offered as a deterrent to their course of action but as soon as the stimuli is gone they often recur to the same when faced with situation that trigger this reaction.
Until she seeks professional assistance all you can do is be there for her in times of need. Try not to be too condescending but do show her love and respect.
Your endeavor will not be an easy one since it is very difficult to see someone you love act in this manner. We often cannot fathom why people do the things they do, especially since we have a totally different approach to problem solving and coping with situations outside our realm of control.
I truly wish you have the strength and your friend the integrity it will take to float above the scum.
Love,
Rey
2006-09-27 12:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thing to remember is for your friend this is behavior, like crying when you're mad or screaming when you sad. It just happens to be unhealthy, like smoking cigarettes. The only way she's going to stop is if she find another way to manage her pain or if she, herself, doesn't want to engage in this anymore. I think the best way to help her is by letting her know you will be there for her without judging her or trying to change who she is. If you gain her trust and trust her with your own vulnerability she might come to you with problems instead of just letting them eat her up inside until she resorts to some kind mutilation to feel something other turmoil and emotional pain. Make sure she knows how much she means to you and that you care about her not what she does.
2006-09-27 18:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by NutterButter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of resources out there, her family should know. She may need some stress management tools such as Meditation, light stream therapy, yoga breathing techniques. If you look up any of this information there is quite a few resources. I wish your friend luck, and congratulate you on caring so much as to want to help her. Best Wishes.
2006-09-27 19:23:06 · answer #3 · answered by crazybest75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her help, be supportive and available for her to talk with. Try and find the real reason she does this. Help her to get her release in a different way - some form of physical activity which you can do together.
2006-09-27 18:49:34 · answer #4 · answered by Flutterby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is cutting herself for attention and nothing else. If she is that dumb let her cut herself, apparently she is not trying to commit suicide or she would be in the emergency room. Tell her you are going to find another friend and when she stops cutting herself to give you a call. It does seem like she needs help, but still stay away and if she is a friend she will call you.
2006-09-27 18:53:56 · answer #5 · answered by black jack 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, there is nothing you can do to change your friend's behavior just as you can't make an anorexic eat. Continue to be a supportive friend and let her know that you are there if she needs you.
2006-09-27 18:49:21 · answer #6 · answered by mad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her know that you are there for her, whether she is cutting or not.....try and boost her confidence.....and advise her to seek professional help.....cutting is a coping mechanism which means she isnt coping with something in her life......she will be happier when she is able to stop
from
an ex self harmer
2006-09-27 18:53:22 · answer #7 · answered by kt_sub2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do an intervention. bring a bunch of her family and friends. That way, she knows that you're all serious and concern about this problem. This will also let her know that you guys deeply care about her.
2006-09-27 18:47:16 · answer #8 · answered by Thot77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, this is the time of the life where friends and family should help her most.
I think the best way is to try to understand why; profesional help/advice should be sought.
2006-09-27 18:47:47 · answer #9 · answered by Yacine B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just reassure her that you will be there for her when she needs someone. Tell her to call you any time she needs someone to talk to or vent to. Alot of cutters cut because they think that no one is there for them and that no one understands or cares about them. Prove her wrong.
J
2006-09-27 18:50:14 · answer #10 · answered by Jenn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋