the stepkids, who by the way, I love dearly, but don't do the things that my children are required to do. I want everyone to be equal. I'm not saying mine are angels, but they do what they're asked in a reasonable amount of time. The others do to but never the way I want them too. I am being ridiculous or is there a happy medium.
2006-09-27 11:31:06 · 19 answers · asked by Vi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i don't know, but my step-dad beat the hell out of me, and i moved out at 15.
2006-09-27 11:34:07 · answer #1 · answered by bob 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It can't be done without the support of your spouse. I'm assuming that you are the male in the relationship, but either way, the spouse must be on board. The reason I assume you are the male is because women will relax with the arrival of the new husband and let him be the "bad guy" when it comes to discipline. If your spouse does not agree with the rules, you must come to an understanding with him/her before enforcing the rules with the kids. Once you and your spouse are on the same page, the rules must be clear and the punishment consistent.
2006-09-27 11:46:44 · answer #2 · answered by Irish Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not being ridiculous. First, your spouse must enforce the rules with their kids. If you both are not on the same page and their is a lack of re-enforcement of the rules then the kids will walk all over you both. Remember to be a team and communicate the household needs and expectations as a family. Consider rewards and repercussions of rules. Hope this helps.
2006-09-27 11:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by ksean6 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a step-mother to 5 kids with none of my own its very hard. But my advice is to talk to your spouse, and both of you've set rule together, and talk to the kids together. If that doesn't work a you can always give them a punishment like, cleaning their only, take away toys,etc. If that doesn't help you need to talk to your spouse and work something out, because if the kids don't respect you, there will always be a problems in your relationship. believe I'm still trying to get a handle on things.
2006-09-27 11:44:28 · answer #4 · answered by helpful friend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down with your husband/wife or whatever, and establish a set of rules and regulations, appliable to all of the children.
After these rules and regulations are written, do not abandon them. Lay down the law, and enforce it diligantly. Do not waver, or ever change the punishment.
Children must be ruled with an iron fist, because they will jump at weakness.
Love your children, and make sure your partner follows the same rules you do. You must be a united front, and together, you will win the war.
2006-09-27 11:38:00 · answer #5 · answered by Captain Moe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to work with your spouse to establish at set of "household" rules that all abide by. If at all possible, do not "ask" anyone to do anything. Instead, make rules that all the kids must follow (clean up after yourself, pick up your clothes, do your chores, etc). Post these "household rules" on the fridge and when the kids come to you to ask for something, ask them if all the rules have been satisfied. If they have, they can get what they want.
2006-09-27 11:36:25 · answer #6 · answered by TG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and your spouse have to sit down with all the kids and explain how things need to be in your combined household. But remember, everything has to be discussed between you and your spouse before bringing the "new" rules to the group. That way, you and your spouse are fully aware of what will be brought before all the children.
2006-09-27 11:36:23 · answer #7 · answered by btij06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to really have that be effective is if their real parent tells them to do these new things - not you - certainly not just you. You will lose if you take on this battle yourself - I'm speaking from experience. You may have to relax your own rules for your kids as well - a difficult but common problem in step familie.
Tread carefully!
2006-09-27 11:34:16 · answer #8 · answered by ravenwood4455 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had a family meeting and discussed the chores/rules/ rewards/ penalties system then printed our results on a posterboard which hung on the wall across from the commode so everyone could review them regularly. We all had our input and all agreed to these rules. Everyone, not just the kids.
2006-09-27 11:36:21 · answer #9 · answered by ©2009 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need the help and support of their mother - the rules should be consistent for all the kids so the expectation is the same - get Mom to give you 100% support in FRONT of her kids!
2006-09-27 11:35:28 · answer #10 · answered by RT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your children do things the way they are supposed to give them something special. let them stay up longer or what ever and don't let the step children have anything extra until they get done the right way what they are required to do..
2006-09-27 11:39:28 · answer #11 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋