is it unusual for him to order for me when we dine out. I am 42 and he is 64, the first time he attempted to I thought he was just playing around so I chuckled a little, but he continued to order. Now our age isn't that far apart, I don't think it's a usual thing "anymore" to do that for a woman, but maybe it was for him in the past. I really don't feel right saying anything, is he being too controlling?
2006-09-27 11:04:00 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Dining Out ➔ Other - Dining Out
Because you are 42, you grew up post women's liberation, he grew up pre women's lib. He was taught since early childhood that that's what he was supposed to do for women. It was probably even in the movies. He's not being insulting, he actually just thinks that it is normal.
2006-09-27 16:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by The ugly duckling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't discussing with him what you would like to order before he does so, then yes he is being way too controlling. You are allowed to make your own decisions about what you'd like to eat. If this is the case, the next time he does this, politely say, "no thanks, I'd rather have the steak," or something like that to change your order.
If you're discussing what you'd like before he orders and he's just relaying the information for you, then that is OK. I often have my boyfriend tell the waiter what I'd like if the restaurant is crowded and/or noisy. His voice is much louder than mine and he's usually sitting closer to where the waiter would be standing.
It's all about what makes you feel comfortable though -- definitely talk to him about it.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 11:11:53 · answer #2 · answered by JFran 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well U let him do the ordering 4 U so maybe he thinks it's ok if U don't like it let him know.The age difference has nothing 2 do with it at all it's all in your mind cause a friend of mine is with a man 20yrs older then her & things are swell between them they even have a son together lol
2006-09-27 11:13:16 · answer #3 · answered by sugarbdp1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing is customary assuming you tell him what you want before you get to the restaurant, especially if he is picking up the tab. That is normally how the waiter knows who to give the check to at the end of the meal. You are dating a man 22 years older than you. Are you sure you are not just worried about appearances?
2006-09-27 12:02:08 · answer #4 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's going a little to far and 64 is not that old. Is he controlling in other areas (e.g. telling you how to dress, etc.). If so, hit the road Jack! I don't care if he has money up the gazoo -- I'd rather date a younger man and have wild passionate sex then to put up with an old controlling man! LOL
2006-09-27 11:14:48 · answer #5 · answered by Starr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*************** RED FLAG ********************
What the heck !!! Does he thinks you're 3 years old, Does he thinks that you're his child or something ? Listen unless you had a conversation before you got there about what you wanted to have for diner or it is you favorite restaurant and he knows as a fact what you are going to order !!! and even with that said is not all right to do that without you been acknowledged about it.
2006-09-27 14:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by wanna_help_u 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is just being "Old School" as it were, it was common for men to do that back in the day. If it doen't bother you than let him continue, if it does let him know.
2006-09-27 11:12:52 · answer #7 · answered by austinguy62 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are old and im pretty sure u can order for yourself,but if u was my age i would think it would be nice if my boyfriend order for me because my b/f is nice like that
2006-09-28 01:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by LACEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, is he choosing food? If you say I want this and he justs orders it... I think that's pretty sweet! to me that's a sign of a gentleman. I don't think so... but if he picks your food, that's another matter.
2006-09-27 11:12:17 · answer #9 · answered by sir'slady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope he is ordering the cat kabobs, they are purrrfect for a dinner date.
2006-09-27 13:52:17 · answer #10 · answered by steve b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋