Ok Ive been with my husband for 17 years, married four, and we have four kids, should I feal guilty for not wanting to have sex much? Im not interested in messin with anyone else like he accuses me, I just have no interest in sex much anymore. Is there something wrong with me?.......Thank you in advance
2006-09-27 10:46:03 · 21 answers · asked by tinkerbella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok I wanted to add im 32. foregot to add my age lol
2006-09-27 10:58:05 · update #1
also I wanted to add, I did sit down and tell him a coulple of times that im just tired and stressed, and he said that it is an excuse, and if he's not getting it someone else must be.
2006-09-27 11:07:25 · update #2
U are not alone in the sex drive dept recent research shows that women start to lose interest in a certian age tell your DR and he can give you medications to get interested again good luck to you
2006-09-27 10:47:38 · answer #1 · answered by AngelVirgo9206 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should feel guilty, sometimes we are just tired and don't feel like it. May be you are stressed and can't relax. He may be asking you the wrong way also, foreplay is very important. Sometimes I'm not in the mood and my husband just keeps kissing me with no pressure and just cuddling with me and next thing you know I want to. If he just jumped on me and was demanding about it it would totally turn me off. Accusing you of cheating is the worst thing to do, that stresses a person out more.
2006-09-27 17:51:51 · answer #2 · answered by lost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to tell my husband that the amount of action he got was directly in relation to how much housework he did.
Are you tired? Are you exercising? Are you overweight?
It sounds like boredom to me. 4 years is about right.
Try going on a date with him. Try letting someone watch your kids and go to the store together. Play in the veggies.
Have fun together, not with sex.
If you don't get all tingly from just playing with him-not in a sexual way-then go to the doctor.
You might be pre-menopausal. You might be anemic.
Healthy women in stable, happy relationships want sex. A lot.
If you are angry, frustrated or not telling him something, it will turn into not wanting sex--not wanting to be intimate--holding him at arm's length.
If you are physically ok, then go to a marriage counsellor.
If he won't go, go alone.
You don't want to lose this guy, do you? He will eventually wander off, if he is not getting sex at home. You would, too, if you wanted it and weren't getting any.
Good luck. Tell us how it's going. E-mail me for support anytime.
PS Don't feel guilty. Fix it in a way that will make BOTH of you more at ease.
2006-09-27 18:01:07 · answer #3 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't blame yourself. Its a proven fact that around the age of thirty woman may either increase sex drive or briefly loose it. Your husband must understand that! Being a full time wife, mom and work, will make a woman exhausted and tired. Men don't go through those stages, at least yours and mine don't. If he doesn't understand after you speak with him again, you may need to find time to go talk to someone. If he cares about your marriage, he will do it. Good Luck!!!
2006-09-27 18:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I'm sorry to say you should feel a little guilty. Even though he should understand how you feel, maybe he's afraid your not attracted to him anymore. I had the same situation with my ex-husband. He wasn't interested in sex anymore and I was. It created a big problem in our marriage. It's not the reason we got a divorce though. Maybe you should talk to your doctor and see what the doctor has to say. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 18:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by ajsad36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be depression, or perhaps a prescription you are on is the reason you are not interested in sex.
Or perhaps it's a phase or the fact the you have been together for 17 yrs and the old "jump me now" is not the same.
As long as you love him, let him know to give you time and to trust you.
2006-09-27 17:48:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anne Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have felt the same way. It is normal. I suggest you talk to your physician if you are still wanting to have sex. They should be able to give you something. Also try doing different things in your sex life. There are books out there that can give you some help also in liking to have sex again. Good luck.
2006-09-27 17:51:19 · answer #7 · answered by cathy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may not be something wrong with you, but if he's unhappy you do have a problem.
It may be a hormonal imbalance. Check with your Dr. There are prescriptions to help increase your libido.
With 4 kids, you're probably just in a rut and tired. Try to shake things up a bit. Are you upset with him and distancing yourself, hence the lack of desire?
Hang in there.
2006-09-27 17:49:17 · answer #8 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you're preoccupied with life. Does hubby fully satisfy you? maybe try new things - be spontaneous.
Although, he needs to understand that with 4 kids, etc., you're a busy woman, and get tired.
I've been married 27 years, and there are ups and downs to the sexual cycle of life. :) As long as you communicate and keep the love and affection open, it will work out.
2006-09-27 17:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no there is nothing wrong with you. Just tell him how you feel and maybe he will understand and stop accusing you of things. after having 4 kids and being together so long i think it would be understandable.
good luck
2006-09-27 17:49:02 · answer #10 · answered by native_lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋