I know it was the right thing for me to do. but why dose it hurt so much? he treated me so good and we had so much in common he says he will leave her but i'm not the type to brake up a happy home please give me advice?
2006-09-27 10:14:41 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You already did the right thing now comes the hard part...
STICKING WITH IT!!!
Don't have any contact with him not even a phone call here or there. Do you know the percentage of guys who say they will leave their wife? All most all of them and how many actually do? Almost none of them. Regardless would you want that on your shoulders for the rest of your life?
Also if he is willing to cheat on her then he will be willing to do it to you.
You were right to break it off. Srick to your morals and values and stay away from him.
Get the girls together go out and have a great time!
Good luck!
2006-09-27 10:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best advice for you is to find a movie that will make you cry for a while, watch and get it out of your system. Take a few days and go out with just the girls have some fun. Don't think about him at all. What he did was totally wrong. He used you and his wife as well. All he wanted was his cake and eat it too. You did the right thing and I'm very proud of you for that. Go find someone that doesn't have a wife and shares the same common interests as you. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 10:41:08 · answer #2 · answered by ajsad36 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In no uncertain terms I must tell you that you were right.
Although you may yearn for him, you never should go back.
You have diverted a disaster with your decision.
This story has been told a Million times over.
The end : in clear cut terms = tears, tears for everyone involved,
yourself, your bf, his wife, his family, your family.
He may have (or still does feel for you) but he can't leave his
family without bringing all the bad luck, the misery, the feuds
and the losses into his new live.
Are you prepared to cope with all the mess a seperation will bring
upon you?
Not only that, he may - after the romance has cooled off - suddenly find himself yearning again for his old spouse -
not because he does not love you, but these things happen more often than not.
And if he has children, imagine the misery brought upon them, the mother left alone with the kids, the kids suffer silently, they may not tell, but any seperation will inflict deep wounds to them.
So, if you believe in god - don't take him back.
It's going to ruin your life - in the long run.
You will pay a price for it, believe it or not.
And the toll is heavy for destroying another marriage.
Suffer for some time, find a new, sincere man who is honest.
But never, ever go back !
Good luck.
2006-09-27 10:28:40 · answer #3 · answered by aheneghana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have done the best thing a girl could ever do. Walk away from a married man. He will never leave his wife and the only ones that get hurt is you and the wife. Cheating dogs like that should be put out of their missery. Thank you for having more respect for yourself then some cheap home wrecker. All the married woman in the world thank you. There should be more singles like you..
2006-09-27 10:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lourdes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not be upset that he was married, but I would definitely be upset with the fact that he waited 2 months to tell you. You had a right to know about that from the very beginning. He had no right to let you develop feelings for him and then tell you. That was not fair. If he is unhappy in his marriage and he wants to be with you, the relationship may work. If he is prepared to leave his wife and be with you and you want to be with him, I do not see anything wrong with it. You may feel like you should walk away as it is somehow immoral to be with a married man but if he wants to be with you and you want to be with him, then how are you doing anything immoral. I would not however, stay in a relationship with him if he is unwilling to leave his wife. Just like you deserved to be told he was married up-front, you also deserve to have him show you the commitment of leaving his wife and being with you and you only. If he is happy to do that I do not see a reason why your relationship can not work. If he will not leave his wife you are right to have ended things. A three person relationship will never work.
2006-09-27 10:25:50 · answer #5 · answered by absolutely_fabulous_78 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because love hurts, You can always say to him if he continues to persue you leave your wife and get divorced and then you can call me, however if he cheated on her he may cheat on you, your best off persuing people that are single and have the same motivations and interest in life as you.
There are plenty of REAL men out there that will care for you the way you desire as long as you are a REAL woman.
Breaking up is never easy when there the relationship was fresh new and good. But remember he entered the relationship with smooke and mirrors who know what else lurks in the shadows with this guy.
he will always be hard to trust.
Trust me I was that Guy once in my life in a younger day
2006-09-27 10:37:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing. He disrespected you by not being honest with you, putting your health in jeopardy (if you were intimate with him) and generally not being mindful of how you would be affected.
He is not going to leave his wife. Even if he did, he cheated on her and you (by making you think he was single). He may try to wear you down. Part of it will be because some men have a hard time being told "No!" and out of control of a situation. If he even thinks about contacting you, hang up. Don't answer the door, don't communicate with him at all. Remember what he did, and know that you deserve much better.
2006-09-27 10:20:36 · answer #7 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did what was right. If he said he would leave her to be with you who's to say he wouldn't do the same to you. If he cheats on his own wife he will do it again. It hurts because he's a jerk that doesn't know how to treat a lady. He lead you to believe he was single and that he really cared about you. If he lied to you for that long then what else has he lied to you about? People like that don't need someone as special as you are. Wait and someone will sweep you off your feet one day and you will have a life of happiness. Sounds like a fairy tale but it happens. I got married on the 9th of September. She lights up my life with joy and happiness everyday. Hang in there, God made someone just for you. Peace be with you and God Bless!!
2006-09-27 10:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by jesus_freak_sm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did do the right thing. If his marriage is truly in trouble he will look you up when he leaves his wife. Until then you need to just get on with life and not think about him, as it is amazing how many married guys say they will leave their wives and have no intention. Why should you be the other woman? So be strong as you really couldnt have done anything other than you did.
2006-09-27 10:19:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You absolutely did the right thing. Not only because you would not want to break up a marriage, but because this person cleary and intentionally deceived you, right in the beginning of your relationship. There is no point in continuing a serious relationship with someone who is capable of such deception. Of course you're hurt; but it's only been 3 months, consider yourself fortunate to not have wasted any more time with this guy. Time heals all wounds. Good luck.
2006-09-27 10:35:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋