my real father left my mom when she was pregnant with me. ive never met him before but have wanted to for a long time. i would like to contact him(if i can find him), tell him about me and his grandchildren. im pretty sure hes married and has a family of his own. my family wont really do much to help me out. would it be intruding if i tried to find him, or should i go for it?
2006-09-27 10:14:20 · 5 answers · asked by sweetwhitegirl28 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well this man left your family first of all and never looked back which i think is sad. I do think u should look for him though and tell him how your life has been without him. He will be left with remorse but what he did is inexcusable! But this really is a tough situation to be in.
2006-09-27 10:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by deanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may sort of be intruding or really be intruding or may even be something he kind of wishes you'd do. Its hard to say. I think you have some degree of "right" to at least try to get any answers you need or try to share what you'd like to share with him. You do need to prepared for finding out something that could be hard to deal with, but you may also find out they he left you and your mother alone because maybe in his mind he thought it was the right thing to do for some reason.
Since you haven't had a relationship with him there's probably a good chance there isn't much he can say or do that would be awfully hurtful to you. As someone with one adopted son and someone with an in-law who was adopted, I think if you would like to find out about your biological father it is your right. Some people don't have any curiosity about biological parents, but many need some version of resolution to not knowing one or both biologicals.
So - if you want or need to go ahead and give it a shot, maybe just approach with some caution and discretion and bring along an emotional shield in case you need it.
I believe it is always the needs of the child (grown or not) that should come first. That's supposed to be part of the deal when people bring children into the world and don't stick around to raise them. If you discover that your father is a great person who made choices that he had good reason for at the time or even bad reasons that he thought were good ones, you'll get the answers you may want and may get to offer him something he's always wanted to. If he's just some big, hopeless, jerk; then you know that and know what you didn't miss.
Good luck. I say, "go for it".
2006-09-27 10:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in a similar situation to this. unfortunately it didnt work out well for me. when i did meet my dad we spent a great day together until the next day he changed his mind and did not want me to contact him again he changed his number and still does not want to have a relationship. my advice to you is that if your really feel its something you should do then you should do it but only if your prepared to except rejection or hopefully a lasting father daughter relationship. Do what will make you happy just remember you cant predict how it will turn out. good luck!
2006-09-27 10:39:26 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah Jane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should give him a chance to know he has more family with you, maybe he's so ashamed of what he did, he doesn't have to guts to look for you....
on the other hand, he could be a bad person, then you will get hurt and probably in trouble....
i think better to leave it as it is...
2006-09-27 10:22:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's your Dad. Go for it. Try to reconnect and talk and hang out. Ask him why he left and stuff.
2006-09-27 10:18:00 · answer #5 · answered by floridaguy0987 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋