I found out she was cheating 2 months ago. She lead me to believe everything was getting better, but she continued to see him. When I found out 3 wks. ago that she was continuing to see him, she said that we should seperate so that she can think about who she wants to be with. A week later, when I was dropping off the kids in the morning, he was staying at my house. Then and there I decided to start the dissolution proceedings. She claims she still loves me, but she also says she loves him too. She has decided to leave me for him because it's something she "has" to do to find out who she should be with. I cannot sit on the sidelines while this is happening which is why I have started the process of dissolution. Am I making the right decision? I can't help but think that thier relationship will fizzle, but I don't think I can wait it out.
2006-09-27 09:50:10 · 14 answers · asked by hrtizbrkn 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
FILE FOR DIVORCE<< SHE IS PLAYING GAMES WITH YOU, because she can,, she will always sound wishy washy,, cuz she has her cake and eating it too,,,
take her for everything she got
2006-09-27 09:54:05 · answer #1 · answered by Glimmer__Man1 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I'm so sad for you. You are the only one who can decide what is right for you, but I can say (of course, one can NEVER say what they WOULD do until they've actually been there) that I don't think I could ever take my husband back if he cheated on me. I would never be able to trust him again. Every time he would leave, I'd wonder "Is he going to see her?" or if he was gone longer than I thought he should be, or home a little late from work, I'd stress. And then eventually the marriage would dissolve anyway. That's no way to live! And it's unfair for her to tell you she needs to find out who she should be with. What would she do if the tables had been turned? What a very sad dilemma.
2006-09-27 09:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by shellbugger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what if their relationship fizzles, you do not need to stand by and let her dishonor your marriage like that. Take the kids, seek custody and be sure you have all the evidence you need to defend your case. Even if she breaks it off with him, some other guy will just take his place and it will start all over again... You are better off just stopping it all now and start over. She will be right there when you start a new relationship, so be prepared for that, she will try to stop you from seeing anyone else. Just protect the kids from the ugly that is sure to come out of this...
2006-09-27 10:00:52 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End it now and don't let her weasel her way back in. If she's unsure now, then she's unsure. Period. You are doing the right thing here. If, in the process, she "comes back" to you, be VERY WARY of it. She may just be putting you off a little longer and may be still seeing him. Also, if she's this easily swayed by someone else, it can always happen again. Cut your losses, put in the divorce decree that she's a lying, cheating ß!+ç# and you'll be able to keep many of your assets vs. if you were the one doing the cheating. Best of luck to you!
2006-09-27 10:06:26 · answer #4 · answered by BigDanInTX 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know the pain you are going through, she gave you the spiritual and moral grounds to divorce her, she doesn't deserve you or the kids.
Make sure you get full custody of your children. Just think that what she is doing is hurting you and the children, but you eventually be able to live with it, but your children, i she keeps them, she will make them go through it again and again.
She is going to end up doing the other guy what she is doing to you now.
I understand love does not end when one of the two cheats, that's why is so painful, but only God knows why is happening to you. Be strong, your world should no unfold around her only. Think about you and your children.
Tomorrow you'll see the sunrise.
God bless you.
2006-09-27 10:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm deeply sorry. I believe you are doing the right thing. If someday things change, you and your wife may reconcile. You seem to have been a real stand up guy over the whole thing. Keep up the good work. Now center on the kids and what's good for them. I'm guessing they need their Mom and Dad to be very supportive right now.
Good Luck
2006-09-27 09:54:38 · answer #6 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing the right thing. You have no idea how long she will be with him, and do you really think you want her back after this? How could you ever trust her again? The best thing for you is to get it over with. Its too bad that the kids have to go through this, too. Please do all you can to make this easier on them. Good luck to you.
2006-09-27 09:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're doing the right thing by starting the proceedings. Just don't cave in like a puzzy and take her back. That would show NO-BALLS and she would just do it again. It looks like you just don't do it for her anymore and she just chose to move on. Don't be spineless and let her make up her mind, it's obvious that she has already made her mind up. AND TO SEE THIS CLOWN LEAVING YOUR HOUSE !!!!! I would've kicked his azz right then and there !!
2006-09-27 09:55:30 · answer #8 · answered by gozedown 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her & tell her that you are going to end things & mean it unless she stays by herself until she sorts out her feelings.In the meantime,,talk to her about what went wrong & how the two of you may be able to work out the problem.While she is seeing him (without living with him),,tell her that you will do the same.Whats fair is fair right?Try not to let things get heated such as anger.Be matter of fact-ly.She oviously needs some direction.Give it time.
2006-09-27 09:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Continue what you are doing. I would not sit around and wait for her to make up her mind. Why would you want her back after she has been with someone else?
2006-09-27 09:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by doglady 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Would you really want to be with her after this? You are doing what is right by you. I do not think you would be able to live with her (or yourself) if she continues along this path. She is playing with you, and if you sit there and allow her to, she will do this again and again.
2006-09-27 10:00:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋