what can i do??? when i ask my husband "when did it become easier to hurt each other than to love each other

Answer 1

I sooo feel your pain! I asked my husband a very similar question just the other day. He seemed to think that we stress about so many other things in life that we can't necessarily express are feelings on that we may inadvertently bring it home.
I'm not sure how it works but it does get easier to hurt our husbands than our friends. and each time you hurt its like a piece of the foundation falls away right?
heavy stuff...

Answer 2

Seek counselling.

Relationships are tough at the best of times. Sometimes resentment builds up through much hurt on both sides, that's when things go sour. And people resort to a tit for tat behaviour pattern.

The easiest thing to do is to throw it all away. If there was once so much love between you, that you foiund the commitment to be married, then surely it can be rekindled. Don't give up.

Answer 3

I think otherwise!!!! Even when I am mad at my husband. I never tried to even hurt him because I don't see the point. When he's hurt, it hurts me more. I have a lot of respect for him and it's way way way easier for both of us to LOVE each other than to hurt one another.

Answer 4

Only you can decide what to do for yourself, and for your marriage it's better if both you and your husband decide. If you can't both come up with a solution, then one of you may have to take unilateral action. It's sad but oh so true, when it's easier to hurt than to love that poor horse should be put out of it's misery.

Answer 5

I have since this in my relationship. Which we are seprated now. But it is a major problem it sounds like one of you want out of the relationship but is affaid to let your spouse know what is bothering you. It is easy to start hurting each other show how much you love each other. If someone is doing something like affair. This way they can say well we weren't getting along any way so that is a easy way out

Answer 6

A lot of years ago me and my wife found ourselves in company picking and pointing out each others faults in fun. It seemed harmless enough at the time, but we soon realised that when in company or other situations all we seemed to do was complain about each other (in fun)
We made a decision to stop doing this and in company only say the nice things about each other. It changed our lives in so many ways. Not only did we start to realise all the wonderfull things that we liked about each other but others started to treat us differently too.
I have noticed others who find it easy to pick faults in humour and I always ask them not too.
The habit of saying bad things is too easy to get into and leads to a downhill spiral that just gets worse and worse.
Talk to your husband, if you love each other change the things you say, it makes a big diference.

Answer 7

Go on a second honey moon. Re conect ona kids-free vacation for two. Get those photo albums when you fisrt started dating. get yur wedding video. get your songs from back in the day played.

You seem like you still love each other. Try a marriage camp or counseling to improve our communiation skills.

Good luck

Answer 8

You should seek counciling. Sounds like you guys are having problems. How is he hurting you? If he is physically hitting you or harming you then you need to get out of the situation call a battered womans center

Answer 9

i understand exactly what you mean its like you can hurt the person that you love more than the people that dont give a **** about you. sit him down and let him know how much you love him and that you two are all each other has. dont let this ruin your marriage!

Answer 10

when hurting is easier than loving it is time to get out