How do I begin to trust again?

Question

I have been lied to so many times(I am sure there are tons of you out there that feel the same way) I don't let people care for me, or when they start I push them away for fear of getting hurt. How do I get past that so I can trust again?

Answer 1

u will learn to trust again give it time..

Answer 2

I see questions on right here all the time from ladies who act love it's a total surprise when their husband cheats, lies, and many others however as a rule i am just a little unsympathetic on the grounds that i know that the woman picked this man and need to have known some thing of his persona. Your story is unique. You have been systematically deceived from the very beginning, and he maintained this deception right up til the moment he felt he had trapped you. This seems like a real detrimental man. His mendacity is nearly sociopathic and his moves had been cold and calculated to position you in the weakest viable role. Your query is 'how do I trust once more?'. A greater question can be 'why would you ever believe a monster like this and why have not you run for you existence?'. I am truly sorry for your agony and that you received pulled into this horrible situation, but right now there may be a greater quandary than just your emotional distress: you are having a baby. Each selection you're making any more should be concerned about delivering that youngster with the first-rate and safest dwelling atmosphere which you can. I am a giant proponent of the importance of having a father for children, so i don't say this flippantly, however I really suppose the easier alternative for the security of your little one is to get as a long way faraway from this man as possible. Excellent success.

Answer 3

I know what it is like to not trust many people.....
Being hurt so many times, you probably start looking out for things that are going to go wrong or you getting hurt?
You have to try and let go of the past experiences and think for the future. If you find the right people/person to confide in and trust then that feeling or fear of getting hurt will go away. But, it takes time to start trusting people again, ive been there!
If you find someone who will be there for you even if you push them away, you know you will have found someone you can trust, especially if they trust you back.

Answer 4

It is very hard after that experience that has traumatized you but you cannot hold the next person accountable for what the last person did to you. Trust is the hardest thing to do as an adult but yet the easiest thing for a child. Don't go into another relationship right away, wait a while. If something happens where as you meet someone that keeps your attention then keep that in mind, that he could be the one since there was something about him that interested you in the 1st place. For some reason if that relationship doesn't work out for reasons of lying or cheating then move to the next. Life is about trial and error, there is no rounded number on when to stop loving people.

Answer 5

I see questions approximately suited good here in any respect situations from females who act like it extremely is a entire marvel whilst their husband cheats, lies, and a great number of others even in spite of the indisputable fact that a great number of the time i'm basically slightly unsympathetic thinking i be attentive to that the girl picked this guy and could have known some undertaking of his character. Your tale is distinctive. you might have been systematically deceived from the very placing out, and he maintained this deception perfect up til the 2d he felt he had trapped you. This looks like an unquestionably risky guy. His mendacity is virtually sociopathic and his strikes were chilly and calculated to function you interior the weakest available place. Your question is 'how do I have confidence all over lower back?'. a greater physically powerful question could be 'why might you ever have confidence a monster like this and why have not you run for you existence?'. i'm fairly sorry on your discomfort and which you basically bought pulled into this terrible subject, yet suited now there may well be a greater advantageous impediment than only your emotional misery: you're having a toddler. each decision you're making any further could agonize approximately delivering that toddler with the friendly and maximum secure residing atmosphere which which you would be able to. i'm an magnificent proponent of the importance of having a father for toddlers, so i don't say this gently, although I fairly assume the greater straightforward decision for the protection of your infant is to get as far removed from this guy as workable. high quality fulfillment.

Answer 6

I don't take other people's lies personally. I see them as a reflection of the liar's weakness or lack of integrity or even some sort-of-ok attempt to maintain his own privacy or not let me think less of him/her or not say something he/she thinks will destroy a relationship immediately. First, my comments about some run-of-the-mill lying:

Things generally can't hurt you if you don't let them; and if you're expecting that nobody will ever disappoint you in some way by messing up you're expecting too much and interpreting your disappointment as hurt. (I'm not saying this is your situation. I'm just throwing it out there as a possible cause of your hurt.)

You have to remember that most lies are told not to hurt you but to protect the liar. There are, of course, malicious lies; but they usually come from someone who is clearly not your friend anyway; so they should be a surprise. Then, too, there are the lies that someone passes around because the honestly believe some unflattering thing about you and don't know what they're saying is a lie.

Some people trust nobody until they prove they can be trusted, which is kind of a crummy way to feel about everybody all the time. Other people try to mostly/sort-of trust most people until they prove they cannot be trusted. When a person uses this latter belief system he/she has to also be sure enough of him/herself to know that if the mostly-trusted person messes up he/she isn't going to be hurt over it. If you approach the matter of trust from an intellectual point of view you aren't likely to be hurt.

Once in a while, a person is in the situation where the relationship is beyond intellectual processing and involves emotions as well. If someone messes with your emotions by lying you "send the matter back to intellectual processing" and figure out what to do about it. You forgive them or don't, move on or don't, but either way it will take a little time for that person to have your trust again.

A person must decide what he wants to be - a wounded bird with "issues" or a strong, resilient, individual who is capable of managing the rotten things in life and who is capable of trying to undertand that not all lies are intended to hurt the other person.

I'm not defending lies or condoning lying. Its just that the way I figure it someone else's lies are their problem, not mine; and I'm not going to make someone else's problem my problem. Also, if you allow someone else's mess-ups to "hurt" you you're giving that other person and/or their mess-up more power of you than you should.

I'm not saying this is you, but some people like to hang onto being hurt by something like someone else's lie because if there is no damage done by the lie they don't have as much to be angry with the other person over, and there is less excuse to be able to demonize that other person.

But on the very serious types of betrayals of trust:

Sometimes, though, a person has had experiences with other people that are more serious than the surface lies that many people tell; and sometimes a person can be seriously emotionally damaged by those experiences. If that is your case you might want to consider getting some professional guidance about ways to overcome any damage before trying to start any new relationships.

Answer 7

Well, you have to take a risk. Force yourself to trust someone. Soon enough you'll find the trust you've been looking for. And trusting people will become easier. It's something I had to do. It's a hard thing to get over. Being lied to is hurtful and despiteful. But, it's life, and there's nothing we can do about it. Other than to step up and take a risk. Hope that helps. You'll learn to trust again soon. =]

Answer 8

By you being hurt so many times, then you should know some of the signs to look for, we must learn from our mistakes, that is how you grow, and expend your mind. Give people time to prove to you, that they are your friend, don"t move too quick, remember to be smart, and alert, then you need to trust your instincts. Life is all about living, growing, learning, and Faith. Have trust in yourself, and then your can learn to trust others!

Answer 9

its really hard to trust after being hurt so many times ( I know ) so theres only two things to do 1. be alone, stay inside and never trust anyone or 2. trust them till they give you a reason not to, then dont stay with them if you know you cant trust them anymore

Answer 10

crystal its over hun! now to answer that question look me up i'll help you thru this troubling time hun! hun ive had the same problems, i mean i look good yah i know it myself, i'm told it almost Every day, i used to get a good feeling hearing it, now it just pisses me off,point being this. you need a special kinda friend, the kind who doesent care if you Push them away, no ties nothing! now think thongs hun