Why do Americans that reply to questions set by British people find the need to correct us?

Question

Seeing as the Language they bastardise was infact the Queens english and they imply that we are all thick when we use the correct word or spelling.

I got called a Moron today because I asked about dogs that Moult to be answered "that Birds molt moron and dogs shed!"
A shed In the UK is somewhere to keep your tools (a wooden building) outside MORONS!
Do other english people have to put up with incorrect grammer from the yanks? And can we teach them to spell:
Something that has pigment is coloured NOT COLORED
The central point in a circle is called the centre NOT CENTER

Answer 1

To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters.

You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise."

You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to re-spell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation.

Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary." Using the same thirty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "uhh", "like", and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

Look up "interspersed."

There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old

enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary, then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier).

You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents --- Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.

While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters.

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.

The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies).

We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.

You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap, and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call 'French fries' are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.

Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling "beer" is not actually beer at all, it is lager . From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in the Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon -- get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by

adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your co-operation.

Answer 2

well if it makes you feel better...
Moult or Molt- means;
shed old feathers, hair, or skin, to make way for a new growth. So indeed, dogs do moult. I think people are unwise to make a comment regarding the correct use of words before verifying the meaning of the word.
To call one form of the English the correct form is also wrong, considering the English language is made up of a multitude of languages and jargon is often entered into the language based on regions. There are also accepted variations in spellings. If you have ever had a chance to look at Old or Middle English you would really get a better grasp on how the different variations came about. The Oxford English dictionary is a great source for word origins, but not the condensed version. Go to the library and look at the 19 volume edition. It is really interesting to trace the origin of different words, toilet for example...

Answer 3

Why are you so touchy ? Or isn't that a word in the Queen's language ? You're wrong when you say that pigment is coloured not colored. Colored is correct in America, just as coloured is in England. You may speak the Queen's English, but we have no queen, and don't want one.
I take no offense when coming across the word lorry instead of truck. I simply say to myself that it's written by someone from England. There's nothing wrong with being from England, it's a beautiful country. I have every book I can find on English history.

Answer 4

er Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.

Except Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new Prime Minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

Answer 5

reading all this las just made me wonder when people around the world are learning english are they taught "queens english" or american english? i guess i should just post this as another question since i dont know, heck i'm just a bastard american. anyway ya'll can argue about this all day long and it ain't gonna make a difference, language is and always has been an evolving changing thing, i mean for us all to be speaking proper i guess we would have to go back to old english but i'm sure that even old english evolved from a language that was even purer. i'm just glad were argueing the differences among different englishes spoken around the world and not spainish. Spainish now there's a language that truly has variations depending on where you are. anyway i'll stop this las by just saying this i think you're wrong to insult another person b/c of their language, obviously there are alot of americans that are ignorant when it comes to Queens English, just as I am sure there are alot of Brits that are ignorant when it comes to American English.

Answer 6

Anyone should tolerate this, picking on it is petty. I have a US friend I email occasionally, and I make sure dates are in both formats but that I state the actual date -- otherwise, it gets confusing.

Besides, shed and moult are the same. From Dictionary.com: 1. (of birds, insects, reptiles, etc.) to cast or shed the feathers, skin, or the like, that will be replaced by a new growth. 2. to cast or shed (feathers, skin, etc.) in the process of renewal.

So there you go. Besides, Americans speak American, not English. They've changed it to much to call it the same (but I guess it shows how much they owe us....)

Answer 7

LOL, lovely point. I am American, but hopefully not a moronic American like I tend to believe most of us are. Sorry for my fellow American's rudeness. Obviously they were just unintelligent and didn't realize that although the majority of our language is the same as English, we have a different dialect. By the way, a shed here is the same thing... we just have two uses for the word, ha ha.

Oh, by the way... try not to judge us all based on our idiot president and the terror of Paris Hilton... please....

Answer 8

lol

sorry for length of this, but you will enjoy it. To the yanks - I'm only playing with you - we love you really.

To the citizens of the United States of America:

In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour', 'favour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."

3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

.

Answer 9

I was thinking the exact same thing today.. i.e how British people speak correct English (I am British) and American English is a bastardisation. Think about diapers and sneakers and the pronounciation of the word route as "rowt".

I wondered how the Americans came to speak so differently to us... oh well. don't worry about it... English evolved in our country so point this out next time someone tries to correct you... even an American saying they speak Enlgish is an oxymoron!!

Answer 10

Different dialects and region play a part. Also, it has much to do with correct usage of the language and its words. The word "wear" in usage can be an adjective or a verb or an adverb depending on how one uses it in a sentence. Myself, I am an American who writes and studies English Composition, many here get by on what they know and the trendy slang of the day. When some read my writing they ask why I choose to spell "color" as "colour" and "honor" as "honour" and so on and so forth and it is just what I do.
The words in question "shed" vs. "molt, moult" can mean the same thing whether it be in Britain, Deutchland, or the United States.
For more information check out William Strunk Jr's. "The Elements Of Style".

Answer 11

I think that American people in general have a very arrogant view of themselves. I travelled the states a few years ago and found that many of them were extremely stupid and parochial. They have little knowledge of anything that goes on outside their own state. I can illustrate this by the fact that most publications have to put the word London next to England if they refer to us. They will argue that its because they are a great country and don't need help from outsiders etc and the usual response from many of the morons is "yeah we can bomb the *** out of you " or such like. In reality they can't sort Iraq out. Afghanistan is a mess and they don't understand anybody that does not fit in with their agenda. So in summary most Americans feel the need to call us stupid because in all sincerity they think they are really clever and we are the idiots yet without European science and invention space travel would be a mystery. Before they say that's bullshit all the German scientists poached after the second world war were set to work on the space programme ie NASA and if it was not for their brains love them or hate them it would not have happened in such short time. Just remember this is the country that brings us Paris Hilton and George Bush where the village is missing its idiot.