If a husband and wife agree to not have any more kids, and the husband has been very vocal about not wanting more kids, and there is an unplanned pregnancy, what's the best way to bring it up? (The wife is excited about the pregnancy but scared of husband's reaction.)
2006-09-27 08:58:57 · 26 answers · asked by janinenc2002 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Congratulations!
A lot of things in life are unexpected. Tell him you know you talked about the issue but this has happened and what are his thoughts to deal with this. I'm sure you both will come to the right decision.
2006-09-27 09:09:15 · answer #1 · answered by chicchick 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The exact same thing happened to me a couple of months ago. We already have an almost 3 yo and a 19 month old. I wanted one more, much later in the future. He didn't really want anymore. He's been saying since I got pregnant with #2 that he was going to get a vasectomy. 2.5 years later and it still hasn't happened. As soon as I found out wiith this one when I was 6 weeks pregnant I told him that evening not sure of how he'd react and not expecting him to go off the deep end, yet he did. But I wasn't going to wait around to tell him. He knew the same day I did. He immediately wanted me to get an abortion and has even asked me up until 2 weeks ago (I'm 15 weeks along). There was a lot of drama on his part; he left for a day, asked me about which of our 2 kids I wanted to keep because he wanted custody of at least one...he's done and said so much. But through it all I've stuck to my guns and I feel fine about my decision because I told him about the pregnancy as soon as I knew. And by the way, the week after I found out he made an appointment for a vasectomy, didn't write down the doctor's name, location or number, got the appt/procedure confirmation paper in the mail, lost the paper and missed the procedure, so that goes to show you how serious he is about things.
So my advice to you is to tell that let him know asap and if he has much to say about it remind him that he was there during the conception too. And it really doesn't matter how you got pregnant or who wasn't using what during sex. The point is that you are pregnant and each of you have to take responsibility. Good luck and feel free to contact me if you need to talk.
2006-09-27 16:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by october g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, being that he is a dominant person. I must say that he was careless and close minded to think that he could avoid the pregnancy by just sticking it out and presto. If in fact his concern was to have no more kids, then he should have gotten a vasectomy to fully remove the chances of it happening. Now if you should tell him, that depends .. do you want the kid?
2006-09-27 16:17:00 · answer #3 · answered by lopez76g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oops!
Looks like someone didn't live up to their end of the agreement.
Still, it takes a sperm and egg to make a baby.
With that said, on one hand, if he was really serious about not having any more kids, he should have used a condom or had a vasectomy.
On the other hand, if she was equally as serious, she would have used the pill or had her tubes tied.
So, in this case, BOTH parties are in the wrong for NOT being responsible.
So its a baby.
Rejoice and make the best of it.
And my advice for BOTH of you is to get fixed so it doesn't happen again.
2006-09-27 16:10:08 · answer #4 · answered by docscholl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would just come out and say it! And may I add it goes back to the saying "It takes two to tango" Maybe not the best way but the both of them agreed to unprotected sex. No matter if one wants more children or not the fact is its a high risk when you have UNPROTECTED SEX! So if the husband is upset he has to know he had alot to do with it and she didn't get pregnant by herself.
2006-09-27 16:58:21 · answer #5 · answered by LKJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure he would be thrilled, even though he's against it. He should realize that he had a part in it too and that there is nothing you can do about it. Obviously it was supposed to happen or it wouldn't have. Having a child is a blessing, and now your youngest can stop complaining about being the youngest and you have a couple more years until you have to hear "I hate being the youngest" again!!!
2006-09-27 16:41:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can I ask a question...Is the "husband " who doesn't want any kids using a condom?..I hope the answer is yes, because if he's not and he is ejaculating inside of "the wife"...then he is as much responsible and you shouldn't be carrying all the weight.....Good luck and just tell him...
2006-09-27 16:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by pregnant & praying now has baby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He needs to be told ASAP & if he's not a complete jerk then he should understand. Remind him that it takes TWO to "tango" & accidents happen! It's exactly like the name...UNplanned. It's not like this was asked for! Good word of advice....to prevent any more in the future, one or both need to get "fixed" once this baby is born!
P.S. If he's gonna be a big jerk or child about it then threaten no more sex then......sadly that works on guys most of the time.
2006-09-27 16:07:59 · answer #8 · answered by §uper ®ose 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him now, believe me you don't want to wait. He'll be pissed for a minute and may be even more vocal. What can you do? But it took both of you to get that baby and if he was so vocal about not having any more kids he should have rapped it up to be doubly sure. So, tell him....today. Good luck.
2006-09-27 16:06:16 · answer #9 · answered by Sweetbabygurl318 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I just told my boyfriend that I was pregnant and asked him what we should do. He voted abortion and I took some time to think about it and then told him no. We are expecting in 5 weeks and both very happy. I would just come right out and tell him. Don't act too happy, but don't act sad either. Just spit it out and don't go by his initial reaction. Give him a few days to let it sink in and then discuss it with him. Good luck!
2006-09-27 16:04:06 · answer #10 · answered by peachy4995 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋