Today was my daughter 21st birthday, the thing is, sadly she passed away 14yrs ago, although I think about her almost everyday, today I felt no sadness even though it was her 21st, am I wrong to feel this way, should I be feeling sad or guilty for not feeling sad, or is exceptance the only way forward?
2006-09-27 08:16:29 · 19 answers · asked by Panther 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Your love for her is as strong today as it was when she passed away. You're not guilty for not feeling sad today as you think about her almost everyday and today you should feel happy, which is what she probably would have wanted you to feel on her special day.
2006-09-27 08:33:57 · answer #1 · answered by Dragon Empress 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings and emotions are yours. No one else is the one to say if they are right or wrong. Maybe you don't feel sad because you accepted a long time ago that she's in a much better place and that she's ok. When someone passes, we deal w/ it in our own way. It's obvious that you still love your daughter so much...you will forever. You don't need to feel sad on such a special day. Remember her w/ a smile on your face. I bet she'd like that better than to see you sad and crying. God bless you and your little girl.
2006-09-27 15:21:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not wrong to not feel sad. You have to live with the sadness of loosing a child everyday of your life. I think today would of been a fun happy day and maybe that is why you don't feel the sadness. Also, don't feel quilty. Just because you haven't shed a tear today doesn't mean your love for her is any less than other days!!!!
2006-09-27 15:24:56 · answer #3 · answered by Denise J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course its not wrong! Acceptance IS the only way forward....
The fact that you think about her everyday brought a tear to my eye...there are so many fathers in this world that dont treat their daughters right, and neglect them and violently hit them...and these so called 'fathers' dont feel guilty about any of their actions...
The world needs loving fathers like you...and your daughter is very proud of you...besides what daughter would want their dad to feel sadness all the time? If I had gone, i would want my dad to smile whenever he thinks or talks about me...
2006-09-27 15:24:54 · answer #4 · answered by Angel_like 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This one brings a tear to my eyes. Acceptance is the best way to move forward, forgetting is not. because she passed away so long ago, you've gotten used to life without her. you should always remember her, but not be debilitated by your loss. if she were around to see you, she would be happy...you've moved on. it's not a bad thing, believe you me. you have the right idea, and i applaud you for that. stay strong, for her sake, and your own. she's in a better place.
2006-09-27 15:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by Luv Docta Jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No there's nothing wrong with it. You feel the way you feel. Who's to say what feelings are right or wrong? I'm sorry you've lost a child - that much have been terrible - but I'm glad that you're remembering the good things, and accepting how your life is now. :)
2006-09-27 15:19:47 · answer #6 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. I didn't feel anything when my grandmother died. I was very close with her, but it made me feel bad about myself that I didn't feel sad or anything when she died. It took me until her funeral to really cry, and even now I don't cry or feel bad. I feel more that you shouldn't mourn over someone's death, but think of all the good times you had with them. Even if you don't feel sad, there is no reason to feel guilty for it. It's not like you pushed their memory right out of your head. You do think about her every day.
2006-09-27 15:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they say time heals all wounds. you can feel like you feel. the thing about guilt is that it does no one any good, it will destroy you and anyone you are around. I am happy for you that you are not sad, I have lost loved ones and being guilty only has hurt the live people around me. lots of love to you.
2006-09-27 15:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think your feelings are wrong.
Why not start celebrating her short life, rather than mourning her death?
Do you really believe she wants you to feel sad all the time, or would you think she'd be happy knowing you aren't guilty and sad? Honor that.
2006-09-27 15:19:01 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no you should not feel guilty and just by asking the question it shows you still care. Besides, she would want you to move forward and live a happy life, wouldn't she? God bless!
2006-09-27 15:18:28 · answer #10 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋