How does my husband know how to makemy day from great to f*ck the world in one phone call....They always have to call with some bull sh*t they got themselves into...not even you, them...I'm just fed up....Grrr...
details- my husband has a son...great...I didn't know anything about this child or half the sh*t my husband used to do...anyways...the child has been living with its mother until she decided to kill her husband (smart idea), so now the kid is in a foster home....His family keeps calling him like what are you going to do...He hasn't done anything the first four years....anyways...I tell him its not my problem its his...If I would have known that he had a kid....I would of never touched him...So am I wrong for saying thats its his problem (which it is...I'm not the one who knocked someone up or was knocked up) or should he just deal with his sh*t....
2006-09-27 08:12:48 · 21 answers · asked by ERICKSMAMA 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
ok..take a deep breath.
now, it seems like your husband is 1) not very accountable, and 2) not very trustworthy.
like u said, if u had known he had a kid from before, u never would've touched him. but that is water under the bridge.. u HAVE touched him, and u have Married him ---> into his family, and his life. think about it; that son did NOT ask for a father who didn't care; or a mother who would kill someone. he must be going thru HELL right now. is it so hard to ask you to have some sympathy for this Child, regardless of the fact that ur husband had hid him from you?? it is not the Child's fault!! and your husband should've done something in the BEGINNING, not wait 4 years. that is horrible. if i were you, i would take charge, someone has to do it! obviously u can't count on or trust ur husband to make good decisions for the FAMILY. so u need to either divorce him and make it his problem, or if u stay, u HAVE to help him deal with it. choose.
if u stay and deal with it, make it about the CHILD. that son needs help.... u are his wife, can you help him to change so that he can help his son?? do u have any way of communicating to your husband that will help him see the error of his ways? instead of getting Angry, let him know the Facts. this is what he has done, and these are the consequences. either do something about it, or you are outta there. and do it Together.... for your relationship, and the child.
this marriage sounds doomed, unless both of u change. he needs to step up and become a MAN, a real man. someone who is able to make decisions that are Good, Positive, and Healthy for the family to grow. and u need to become a Woman, a real woman who can support and nurture and care for your husband and family. work hard on becoming those things, and then u can start on building the relationship to become STRONGER so that u can handle all these new situations and obstacles.
good luck, and try to be open minded. do not stay with someone who is a liar, but don't stay with him and constantly complain either. u can either help him change or leave. end of story.
2006-09-27 08:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You have a right to be mad, but you also sound like a _ _ _ _ _. Sounds like it's all bout you and that's it. Yes, your husband should have shared this information with you and why didn't you inform him from the start that you're not intrested in having kids.
This young child did not ask to be put in this predicament. He's gone from a house and mother to a foster home where he knows noone. At that age he has to be scared as hell.
Now that you and your husband are one, his problems are yours and yours are his. Come off of that high horse you're on and be a loving wife, if, possible.
Did you ever stop to think why is he not active in his son's life? If he was he would have never went into the system. If you're going to treat this child like _ _ _ _, maybe you guys don't need to be together.
You and your husband need to sit down and talk ASAP.
2006-09-27 08:48:39 · answer #2 · answered by Shay~Shay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a ****** Bittch, If I were your husband I ****** down you like a hot potato. How can you blame him for something he didn't know about. how can you take it out on a children that loose the only parents in his live. You and your husband could raise this child as your own (mother dearest) and he would porbably love you like no other person has in your live. The minute you got married it was for richer and poorer for sickness for health for good times and bad times. His problem are your problems you dumb bittch. Tell you husband you love him and that you think he should go get his child, so that both of you can make a difference in the childs live. Let the ice melt a little "Ice Princess" have a heart. You might like being call mom.
2006-09-27 08:32:25 · answer #3 · answered by captianpr 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your pretty angry and you have the right to be. But he is your husband, he should have told you, but he came to you for help. He needs your support, not your anger, think of the kid too. What an awful situation to be put in (the poor kid!). His mom killed someone that could've been close to him, then she's sent to jail, he's sent to a foster home...AND believe me those can be total nightmares! Now you can't see past YOUR anger to see that someone small & innocent needs help! Shame on you! You should accept this and live with it and try to help anyway you can!
2006-09-27 08:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rebecca V 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
his son is the least of your concerns. sounds like you just plain old have relationship issues. deal with the real issues between the TWO of you. He should feel some obligation to see that his son is taken care of, one way or another. If you really care for your husband & about your relationship, you will help him through what is likely a tough situation for him, not make it worse. If you are going to make matters worse, then your marriage is unlikely to last.
2006-09-27 08:22:01 · answer #5 · answered by Justin 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAPPINESS!
make sure theres no one around for the first couple.
try these:
-stuff your face into a pillow and scream as loud as you can.
-stomp around
-slam doors
-punch the bed
-yell all the swear words you can possibly think of.
-buy an ipod, listen to your favourite music, whenever you get the chance.
-spoil yourself every now and then.
-laugh at your own and others jokes, even when there not funny.
-shout good morning every morning as you get out of bed
-eat chocolate or fruit for breakfast.
-talk, talk, talk, talk. socialise, meet new people that make you laugh.
-and finally, be open minded, dont worry, it could always be worse, try to be as carefree as possible, ignore people that upset you. AND pay people compliments, even if you dont like them, do good deeds, it'll make you feel really pleased/proud with your self.
After trying these for a while, if you feel like you'd be better off with out your husband, then ditch him.
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please give me best answer. xx
2006-09-27 08:30:55 · answer #6 · answered by Shontelle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, sweetie, it may very well be your problem if he is awarded custody of the kid. Then you have a choice.... stay and raise someone else's son, or bail. Me? I' d bail. I didn't want children of my own to raise, I sure wouldn't raise some other woman's kid, no matter what..... Kids were just not going to be part of my day, my week my month nor my year. I didn't even date guys who had kids still young enough to be dependent..... You asked..... And I didn't. And never changed my mind and have never been sorry for even one nano-second.
2006-09-27 08:33:43 · answer #7 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Should Husband have gone off with neighbor?
2016-11-06 14:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by Beverly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet that you didn't do your homework at school either! Homework has to be done before you make a commitment such as marriage. At this point, you both would be better off going your seperate ways. Not a good relationship at all.
2006-09-27 08:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how you feel about your husband. If you want to be with him- it's your problem now too.
2006-09-27 08:21:10 · answer #10 · answered by Alison 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋