he dont talk to me much anymore and we barly have sex but maby once a month What can i do? I still love him and we have 3 very young kids.
2006-09-27 08:02:13 · 25 answers · asked by Daisy H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband and I too had this problem and I found RETROUVAILLE Look up this web site www.retrouvaille.com It is a wonderful thing for stale marriages. I just went to a weekdend for this with my husband of 5yrs. We to have three kids(two from my previos marriage and one of our own). It has really improved our marriage on "all" aspects. They have these christian based/weekend counseling retreats all around the world. Look up your state and find out where one is being held and go-its wonderful!
My husband was reluctant at first but, he is more excited we did this than I was and I'm amazed the things I've learned about him and what a wonderful person he is.
2006-09-27 08:12:30 · answer #1 · answered by ROOTER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication!! Don't confuse sex with love or intimacy. Men are visual creatures and have to be stimulated. Sit him down, share a drink or to tell some funny storie, then ask him what would like to try. Don't just start a long on and on about your sex life most guys will just shutdown. Give this a few weeks to build o something new. Start dating each other again, don't turn into two bored people, leaving the door open emotionally and physically for someone to come in between you two. Slowly start to introduce topics of discussion. G'luck I wish you the best
2006-09-27 15:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Shalom O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to like my answer. But since I don't know you, I can be honest because I'll tell you what I feel and it may or may not apply.
You described a dude who is confused. My guess is that he is either having an affair with another person, or you don't excite him like you should. Call us pigs, but a man wants a women who gives him three things:
1. He wants a woman who makes him feel important.
2. He wants a woman who looks good.
3. He wants a woman who will be intimate with him willingly and frequently.
He doesn't want one or two of these things, he wants all three. When these three things are missing, he gets either bored or he looks around for others who will give him what he wants.
If you think these desires are not reasonable, then perhaps you will lose your husband. If you meet these three requirements and he still is not responsive, then he has problems that he needs help with.
Whatever is the case, good luck. I wish you my best.
TX Guy
2006-09-27 15:15:09 · answer #3 · answered by txguy8800 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are at the tough part in your marriage.
I know what I'm talking about too, I've been married for 22 years and counting and my children are just about grown, but I remember when I was in your place. My husband and I both thought we weren't in love anymore and considered divorcing, but for the kid's sake we stayed together. As the kids got older, we got closer.
In a long marriage it is normal to have ups and downs emotionally. Heck, you would even get sick of Mother Teresa if you lived with her 24/7!
Just be patient and try to get back to why you fell in love in the first place. What attracted you to each other? Reminisce about the beginning and tell him you still feel the same way even though there are 3 kids between you now.
But hang in there, it would be hard no matter who you were married to, so stick with the father of your children and get back to basics in your relationship. Good luck and God Bless! :)
2006-09-27 15:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by mimi22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to have a very serious talk with him. Tell him you feel lonely and unattractive because he barely talks to you let alone have sex with you.
It's my opinion that romance should never go away, no matter how long you've been married. There are a lot of things you can do to keep the marriage alive, but only if he's interested. Time to find out what the problem is. I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-27 15:08:14 · answer #5 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most couples settle into some stage of laxness - the times may vary.
Find opportunity to talk with him, in a non badgering tone and express to him that you still love him but cannot help but feel the distance.
Ask if there is anything you can do to help remedy this distance that seems to be growing.
Sometimes men do not even realize it is happening especially after kids come along or until they reach a certain age that dads may become more involved.
You love him? Fight for him and this relationship!
Best wishes!
2006-09-27 15:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job and send the kids to a babysitter. Men find independence atractive and after a while, household talk becomes annoying.
Talk to him about other things than bills and clogged pipes. Change your hair color and style. Toss those cotton panties and saggy sweatpants. Be a woman again. You are mom but also have to be a woman that eludes passion.
Gained weight? Lose some.
Put on make up again.
Buy a skirt and stillettos.
Never too late for new lingerie. Yeah, NEW one! not the one from your honeymoon honey.
Date your husband ...again.
Good luck
2006-09-27 15:09:34 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make time for you two together to be alone and go away somewhere & do something you don't usually do (perhaps sex) and focus on each other and what made you each fall in love with the other at the start. Then start loving him like there is no tomorrow, every single day and he will do the same for you, but it may take him a bit longer to figure it out. You'll be fine, honey.
2006-09-27 15:06:02 · answer #8 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to spice up your communication..
Do you too bowl
Go o the same bar for dinner every Friday night
Hang out with some friends and play cards
Get to know another..Laugh Enjoy each other company
all this will create great sex and spontaneous sex
2006-09-27 15:06:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
set aside sometime for the two of you... Start off small... When you put the kids to bed... come in the room and just have small talk.. How was your day... I missed you... what do you want for dinner tomorrow? things of that nature and see how he reacts... Then once day come in the room and get naked and jump his bones... I am learning that men Love woman who takes the lead... You become his freak... Hell you vowed to have sex with this man and this man only for the rest of your life....Why not try something out of character? Good luck ma...
2006-09-27 15:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Shonda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋