I love him so much sometimes it hurts, but I just get the impression that he's being distant and not as nice to me anymore. We've been together for 18months and he says he loves me but it's not the same you know? There'll be loads of rude answers I know but can someone please come up with something to help me!! I'm scared I'm losing him. Thank you so much xxx
2006-09-27 07:55:50 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well there are three possibilities.
1) You've 'relaxed' a bit too now that you've got that ring on your finger so you need to step up the ante - start flirting and dating him again, remind him of the woman he fell for. Stop moaning and take off those jogging pants, get off this computer and go let him know how much you love him.
2) He is bored despite you loving him so you could try the whole lingerie, sex games thing.
3) You are young, you got engaged really quickly, he's realised he's made a big mistake and wants out but doesn't know how to do that without creating a whole load of mess. You need to talk to him about your relationship and how he feels about it.
Good luck
2006-09-27 08:01:56 · answer #1 · answered by Leapling 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time allows you to grow comfortable with each other, it's a good thing. You may find, as time goes on, that the more you throw yourself at him, the more "I love you's" you say and constant mushy mamby pamby stuff you do and say will tire him out. If you can love yourself, then you can truely love someone else. Me and my boyfriend of 5 years would go back and fourth, it seemed like every time I felt madly in love and just wanted to be with him all the time he seemed not to care much, but when I would get a little distant or just stopped being all lovey with him, that is when he showed interest. There has to be a good balance there. The more you throw at him, the more it will pile on and burry him. Tone it down, let him know that you CAN live without him, you just choose not to. When he see's your new found confidence and self worth, it will make you more attractive to him. If he knows that you are never going to leave him, he can and will take you for granted.
2006-09-27 15:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by Belle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did anything different happened? Does he has any reasons to change with you? Is he spending too much time at work, with friends or apart from you? You have to do a little detective work first to see what is driving him to change with you. Are you too much into him? Maybe you are overwhelming him.
If you are the same sweet girl you've always been and nothing on your behalf has changed do this: Plan a romantic dinner, dress up, be loving (but not too much), and ask him if he still feels the same way about you and tell him your concerns.
You might find a lot of answers and then you will decide if is worth to try to save the relationship or to keep on with your life and try to find someone else who will really appreciate you.
2006-09-27 15:08:18 · answer #3 · answered by cuteboymom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him, and find out if there is a problem. It could just be that he loves you exactly the same, possibly more than in the beginning of your relationship, but maybe things have gotten into a routine, and he knows that you are always there for him, no matter what. Therefore, maybe he is taking you for granted slightly? It is easily done.
If when you talk to him, it is a case of "same old, same old..." talk more, and see how you can bring the spice back into the relationship.
All I will say is, if you have any doubts whatsoever, do not get married until these doubts are gone!
Dont waste your life hoping to make someone love you more than they do.
Good luck!
2006-09-28 03:45:50 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think most likely he's in the 'comfort zone', the good feeling of not having to try so hard and to relax in the knowledge you have someone there for you... Don't attack him out of it, perhaps something along the lines of.....
"It's nice like this, being relaxed and comfortable with each other but I'd still like to 'relive' our honeymoon period every once in a while".... You'd be surprised what a hotel, wine and the adult channel can do for a relationship every once in a while...
2006-10-01 02:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by David W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you really love him. If he asked you to marry you (assuming HE proposed) then I'm sure he wouldn't have asked you, (or said yes) if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with you.
Try and sort it out as soon as possible, before you could end up really hurt. My husband changed as soon as we left the church, so yours could change too.
There's no way you can 'get him interested again' - do you really want to spend the rest of your life keep going through phases of trying to get him interested in you again? I don't think so.... I'm sure he loves you to bits, maybe he's just got stuff on his mind, like work, or planning the wedding, saving up for the honeymoon..??
Don't be paranoid, and don't be too kingy!! Good luck babe - you'll be fine x
2006-09-27 16:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by Vickyandbump 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love can't be one sided! Change sometimes can be hard but if he isn't making you feel loved and accepts you for you then YOU need to find someone better. Don't settle. Don't you want someone that feels as strongly about you and you feel about them? It is impossible to change someone, so could you live like this for the rest of your life? Listen to your heart, it will let you know what to do.
2006-09-27 15:05:54 · answer #7 · answered by Icara4ewu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He knows that you are scared of losing him and that makes him
feel free to do as he wishes. Stop being scared, act as if your
interest is drifting away and may be gone forever. Begin to say
no to some of his favorite activities. This will, either put him in
his place or lost and gone forever. I can assure you, better
settled now than later. Good luck.
2006-09-27 15:03:46 · answer #8 · answered by Ricky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i went through a bad time with my partner and it ended up with a big arguement as i tried to tell him that i needed him to be how he was towards me and i missed the stupid things that meant so much to me.you need to try and explain to your bf that you do love him but things seem to of changed if he is not the type to listen try to write him a letter,the thing with men is they dont need the way we do and they dont seem to notice when things change but if nothing gets said then nothing is going to change i wish you all the best and i really hope this relationship works x
2006-09-27 16:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by sam* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sit him down with a romantic meal but have it ready for him coming in so he dont know then you 2 can talk tell him how you feel, go out get yourself some new clothes and underware and make him see what he seen in you before but most of all tell him you love him and tell him how you feel hope this helps
2006-09-27 15:03:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋