I just had a newborn baby by a guy that I have been dating 4 about 5yrs.I have a 1yr old son by another guy.My newborns father has been there since my son was born.We fell in love when he was born.He always wishd my son was his so we tried and just had r daughter.for some reason during my preg we didnt get along b/c he wantd 2 do whatev.He knows he treated me wrng.We talked about marriage then things got worse.I let him do whatever b/c i felt like he didnt want me.Well now she's here and he was still actn a lil mean,well some1 tried 2 cut his throat n a club he go 20 stiches.Then he calls me & tries 2 b nice.I told h/what goes around comes around. He's sending mixed signals.He's the type 2 say you feel what he really feels but his pride is out this world. But Ive done nothing but be a good woman no matter what and he knows it but he knows im extremly hurt.Will he ever come around.we had got a lil cool & then I had a flash back and we had a bad argu.
2006-09-27 07:51:18 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Instead of being a man and being there for you and the kids, he has nothing better to do with his time than go clubbing? Had he of stayed home, he wouldn't of been in this fight with 20 stitches. He needs to grow up and start acting like a man! You're better off without this little boy running around in a man's body.
2006-09-27 08:02:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard when your a good woman waiting for a thug to grow up. Your always there when they need you but, for whatever reason, they can't return that love. They feel that because they are out in the streets they are missing something and then they get caught up. Caught up in drama, drugs, fighting whatever, does this sound about right? The only thing that I can suggest is this, put your daughter and your son first. Don't get caught up in the relationship in the past because right now its over. Concentrate on the young lives you have right now. They need you far more than this young boy trying to grow up. He wants to be a man but, he can't let go of the street life. I pray for the sake of you and your children that he does because speaking from experience, I'm now waiting for my husband to come home from prison because he was on the verge of giving up the street life for his family ( my three boys and me) when he got caught up with a "friend" of his that had drugs. As I told him, if he was your real friend he would have confessed that those were his drugs. But that is a totally different story. Make your children proud of who you are and if it is really meant for him to be with you and your children, he will change on his own and see the beauty of becoming a real man. God bless.
2006-09-27 15:24:32 · answer #2 · answered by Wifey K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married 13yrs. We've had our ups and downs. Being in a relationship takes a lot of work. Are you up for that? He sounds to unsure himself what he wants to do. He's gonna have to be strong enough to realize too much pride is bad. But you can't tell him that. He won't listen. Don't argue w/him. Walk away even though you want to prove your point. He won't hear what you say anyway. Write down what , when, where and how he's upset you. Then decide what's important to say something about. Only don't say it write it. Polite but st-urn. Always stand your ground, have base and keep it 'cause w/out it, you'll always get hurt. And give this a thought you can only allow him to hurt you as much as YOU want.
2006-09-27 15:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by babygirl4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say you need to be more concerned with yourself and the children. If the fathers weren't there during and after the birth and treated you well regardless of the child, why would you waste your time on any of them. Make yourself and your children your first priority and stop having babies with deadbeats and a**holes.
Hit him up for child support and the father of the one year old too. Then take care of yourself and your children and stop getting involved with worthless men. If a man doesn't prove himself to you, that he cares about you and that he is willing to go the distance with you for the long haul through life, don't have sex with him. This is the problem with younger girls today, they are too willing and ready to give themselves to any cute guy that shows the slightest interest. If you want a good man, make him prove he is one first. Before you have unprotected sex with it.
If you give a man/boy sex without making him prove himself to be a good man, then that is sending him the message that your NOT a good woman and can be had by anyone with a winning smile. Men are simple creatures. A man wants to share his life with a lady and a woman who wont put up with bad behavior out of him. Make a man tow the line and treat you with respect and he is yours for life. Be strong and self sufficient and take no S*it!!! Love him and treat him right if he is a good boy, but if he screws up, teach him a lesson by NOT putting up with it. Sit his as* to the curb until he figures out that you won't play with little boys that don't behave.
Sheesh, aren't there any scruples in this world anywhere anymore?
Stop the insanity girls. For goodness sakes.
This also works the other way round too. A truly good man won't put up with a little spoiled girl either. He WILL set your *** on the curb too. Why, because he is a good man and deserves better than to be treated badly and have to deal with nonsense everyday.
Set your standards high ladies and gentlemen and you will find that this bad boy, bad girl crap will become outdated and more people will start realizing that that sort of behavior will not be tolerated and those that want to live their lives that way, will be relegated to living their lives with scumbags and a**holes.
2006-09-27 15:14:58 · answer #4 · answered by frankly2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to waste your time on a man that is going out to clubs (ie, looking for other girls) while you are at home with his newborn? Not to mention subjecting your children to a person that behaves in a manner that would make someone what to slit his throat and possibly having those people come after your kids!
2006-09-27 15:04:06 · answer #5 · answered by nativeAZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this my dear, but you & this guy need to go your separate ways. I know that is not what you want to hear but is the way it is. You're making ea.other miserable & that is certainly no way to live. Make sure though that you have a court ordered child support order. Do not put this off & do not take his word for it that he'll pay. Get it all done legally. If you can't afford this then you can go to Legal Aid to get help but do it. This is for your daughter.
2006-09-27 14:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by mazell41 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH GIRL, you have got to be kidding. The only thing that should matter to you is your children, They are your main priorities now, and NOTHING ELSE should be first. You do not need a man to take care of you or your kids, just stick child support on both of the dads, and that will help your feeding and clothing them, both, do you seriously think he will change his ways???
2006-09-27 14:56:49 · answer #7 · answered by sweetkas_69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, you could only answer this question for youself. From what I'm reading I (myself) would end the relationship he has to many issues with himself right now.
You have kids you need to think about. When you look five more years would have went by and you guys are still not married.
2006-09-27 14:59:04 · answer #8 · answered by Shay~Shay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be straight up with him. Don't waste your life away with him..if he is not going to respect you enough to be straight up with you. You sound like a wonderful person and I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who will treat you like the lady you are.
Don't let any man treat you bad...regardless.
2006-09-27 14:53:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your going through all this drama now what do you think is gonna happen when you get married. if you truly love him you might better make sure he feels the same way about you. you need to talk to him and find out why he has so many mood swings.
2006-09-27 14:56:26 · answer #10 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋