i've been married 5 year, and i've learned my husband has befriend this girl he meet while she was walking, and have kept in touch for over 2 years, he say they are just friends, they both say the never had sex, but she say they kissed, he said she kissed him. This so called friendship started months after the birth of our first and only son. I need so Advice do i leave him?
women scorned
2006-09-27 07:42:52 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Cheating is whatever you and your spouse agree upon. My husband considers belittling comments made to others as being unfaithful. He would rather I have sex with someone else. To be honest, so would I.
I, personally, would not leave my husband for hanging out with a female friend. But if it bothers you, let him know that he better think hard about the consequences before doing it again.
2006-09-27 13:20:31 · answer #1 · answered by ann_tracks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So two years ago your husband befriended a girl at a time when you were probably wrapped up in something else (your son).
For two years he has not mentioned this girl - which is a mistake although you have obviously met her since to know that she claims they kissed.
There are resons why a normally faithful man might look towards someone else for friendship and feel guilty about it. You need to work out those reasons between you - were you neglecting him, did he feel trapped by new fatherhood, did he feel like you didn't need him anymore now you had your son? Talk to him about the whys and wherefores before doing anything else. As his wife accpet that you might have to shoulder some of the 'blame' in this andthen decide if you can look forward and how you might be able to do that (him never seeing this girl again for instance).
2006-09-27 14:53:42 · answer #2 · answered by Leapling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To formally meet or be introduced to someone without your marriage partner is not cheating per say.
To have opportunity to meet someone and become involved with them to the point of kissing - big flag.
If you love this man, then hang in there for your marriage sake.
Bring them together and confront them directly....that you realize they have met personally and that you appreciate being friends - the three of you.
But anything beyond that point jepordizes your marriage and you would further appreciate their realizing this.
If they refuse, you must realize there is more than previously being protrayed.
Do not panic yet.
Keep an open mind.
Have a forgiving heart if needed.
Be honest with your feelings about the entire circumstance.
Encourage talk with both of them amongst the three of you.
Be patient for the answers to come.
Proceed with caution and love.
Best wishes!!!
2006-09-27 14:50:03 · answer #3 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five years is a lot to throw away just like that. You should stop the so called friendship and let him know he did cheat on you and if even any such suspicions occur again, without a doubt you will LEAVE him.
But I say this in consideration for you; I would leave the person. However, there is no shame in making an exception if you feel it is best for YOU.
2006-09-27 14:52:43 · answer #4 · answered by kasar777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's brought another woman into your marriage and she is coming between you whether or not he sees it that way. It has to stop, completely, do not accept this another day. He needs to know that a marriage involves 2 people only. Remind him of his promises, and offer to go to counselling together to sort out what you need to fix your marriage. Anything one married person does that makes the other feel vulnerable or hurt is something that has no place in your life, after all your spouse is meant to be the person you sacrifice everything for, it's a partnership not a war.
2006-09-27 15:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should of left when you first found out about this new girl "the so called friend" If they kissed they probably have done more than that. You'll never know the truth. Take your son and leave. You'll find another love and caring man to respect you and your son. Good luck.
2006-09-27 15:40:06 · answer #6 · answered by BadAssGirlINWV 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that depends on you.
Let's give him the benefit of the doubt, let say that they were only friends and one day, surprisingly, "she" kissed him. He (because he is a loyal and lovely husband :-) ) he told her that she was wrong, etc etc etc. Does that friendship still going on? NO, because he must realized that she had feelings for him that he "didn't" provoked. Anyways, if that friendship still going on, obviously that if don't, it will include sex. Now, your point is, do you want to wait for that moment? and if occurred and you are one of those persons who can forget everything, ask him to gave you your place and end that friendship because she doesn't meant anything and she is hurting you and your relationship.
If you think, that you will never forget, just move on. He didn't deserve you.
2006-09-27 14:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by success532 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be classed as cheating depending on your view of things but this behaviour can lead on to him cheating on you. I'd kick him into touch and find out the truth and don't let go until YOU are satisfied with the answer he gives. At least he has been honest with you, he could have not said a word and left you guessing. Give him a second chance to redeem himself but if he oversteps the mark again chuck him out and make sure that he know this and you are not playing games.
2006-09-27 14:51:25 · answer #8 · answered by GaryUKB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My opinion is that if a person "can't" or "won't" tell their spouse what they are doing - it's cheating. He has been hiding this from you for 2 years? I believe he might be lying when he says no sex-- especially if he's been hiding her all this time
I think you need to get a lawyer and also some marital counseling, and I'd also like to talk to this "friend"-- invite her over for lunch one day and have a good long talk.
2006-09-27 14:48:00 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will this is a hard question to answer, i think that i would feel the same as you, wonder if the shoe was on the other foot, how would he feel. Men can have women as friends and of course vise visa, but they kissed, was it is a peek on the cheek, or more. 2years is a long time for you not to have known, he should have told you about this friendship, I think i would be very unhappy, and feel betrayed, and wonder about my marriage. Have you asked him, why he never told you, have you told him, how you feel. and how betrayed you feel, I would think very hard about things, good luck and god bless
2006-09-27 15:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋