Is it normal to feel depressed & angry while going through divorce?

Question

i was married for 2 1/2 years before my wife asked for a mutual separation. its been a year since we spoke. i am regretting my mistakes now and trying get her back but she seems to have made up her mind. During our marriage she always doubted me and complained to me that i am not interested in socializing with people and i dont respect her family. She is a very social person. we have had arguments which has led to me physically abusing her when i am unable to cope up with her complaints. i took her to a counsellor but it didn't help. She complained about me a lot to my co-workers who were her friends when we were married. it has caused lot of gossip in my office about me. i feel depressed - but also i love her. i know its time for me move but couldn't move on...is it normal to go through these emotions or am i making things worse.

Answer 1

Yes it is normal but I can tell you that you are better off. I went through the same thing and we got back together and it did not last even 6 months and it ended up costing us both a lot more than the first time around. So do yourself a favor move on and help yourself to heal. It is a long process. You can make it. I have since remarried and I am happier than I have ever been. Good luck to you.

Answer 2

It is very normal to go through these feeling...I have been divorced for over 4 years now and it has taken me most of those to try and get over my ex. Kept hoping that we would reconcile our problems and get back together, which I knew was not going to happen. We were seperated once for over a year, and we got back together...after 5 years of trying it over, it still didn't work out. Just prolonged the hurt and the pain! He has long since remarried and I have finally come to grips with the fact that we won't be a couple again.
From what you wrote it sounds to me that you two were never compatible and it is more than likely a good thing that you are seperated.
Move on with your life and I know that is easier said than done.
But you will find hapiness and these feelings will go away but they will never be forgotten...since there will always be a spot in your heart for that person.
Just keep you chin up and try to move on...doesn't mean that you have to go out and find someone...try to find first what makes you happy before you try and make someone else happy.
Good Luck

Answer 3

Divorce hurts. Everyone that is going through one feels this way. Seek a divorce support group to cope, or even therapy to get you through and help you with depression.

You have to learn no accept the facts. It's too late to reconcile and you have tried all channels to try to patch things up. You can't force her to take you back, it seems that she has made up her mind.

Fortunatly for you soon-to-be-ex-wife, she is a very smart lady for walking away early instead of enduring years of physical abuse and wasting precious youth years.

I'm sorry for what have happen in your relationship. Now you know that communication and respect s important and that you should NEVER , EVER hit a lady.

As for your noisy gossipy co-workers, you should go to the boss. Tell him/her that you are goung through a rough patch right now and would appretiate a little consideration from your co-workers. Tell him that he/she should enforce rumor control so your work enviroment would be less stressful while you cope with your personall issues.

Good luck

Good luck

Answer 4

Sounds like you need walk away, and learn what you can from the experience. Perhaps in the future, you guys can work things out...but it sounds like she needs space & time.
If it's feasible, maybe make a fresh start all the way around....and get a new job.

But to answer your question, specifically...yes, it's very normal to go through anger and depression. But you really have to make yourself move forward in a more positive direction. Only allow yourself so much time to fester in it...other wise it will tend to consume you.

Stay busy, try new things, and as ridiculous as it sounds...try to make the best of it.

Answer 5

Yes, it's normal but it's not normal when its happening to you. Like diabetes or appendicitis, its a condition that needs professional help, a regime of medicine and therapy will let you work it thru. Don't fool around with groups or chats. No, anything that makes one angry enough to strike out physically needs an M.D. psychiatrist. You'll overcome all this but offering myself as a case in point, it is best if you can deal with your situation without acting out.

Answer 6

I'm a paralegal for a family law attorney. I see this everyday. Yes, it is normal, the fighting of who gets what, what week, weekend or holidays the (child) or children will be with what parent. It can ware you down.

Normally after the divorce proceeding's is when thing's sometimes go back to normal. If one spouse is not wanting the divorce it makes it even harder. Some get counseling.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

Absolutely normal to feel many mixed emotions, even more than you listed. And to be honest, you need to feel and accept them all before you can seriously move on with your life, as obviously she has done. Stop looking back, and look forward -and learn from the mistakes that you made then so they dont repeat in the future with someone else.

Answer 8

It's perfectly normal. Who gets married and doesn't think it's gonna be forever? Your dreams just got smashed to bits.....You need to take your focus off of her and onto yourself. I would suggest seeking some anger management classes for help in controlling your temper so that you don't strike out at those whom you love. It takes a big man to admit his mistakes so you've taken your first step. It seems now as though nothing is going your way, but once you get some help and distance yourself from your feelings for her you'll find you're more inclined to want to get out there and mingle with other women again. It's no more of "us" and "we" but now "I" and "me".....heal yourself and move on with your own future....Good luck :)

Answer 9

It is perfectly normal to feel that way. What you need now is to go and have some fun. Go out with the guys and have a few cold ones. Think of it as, she doesn't deserve you and move on.

Answer 10

You need to occupy your time. Do things to take your mind of her. It seems as if she no longer wants anything to do with you. Keep that in mind! Just remember what drove her away and take it as a lession what not to do in your next relationship.