This was just a note really to thank everyone that answered my previous question; It strengthened my resolve that I was doing the right thing to visit. Even though in the event he was heavily sedated, he just might have known I was there. Either way I was pleased I went, a final chance to say goodbye. Sadly he died last night but he managed 9 months when the doctors gave him 9 weeks at best. If you are out there, my friend, it was a pleasure to know you.
2006-09-27 05:11:06 · 23 answers · asked by Tina C 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm glad you went. Sorry to hear the news, but it was obviously a case of when not if. Now get out your favourite photos of him, have a drink to his memory and remember the good times.
2006-09-27 05:14:19 · answer #1 · answered by gvih2g2 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss- I was also in your situation last year and like yourself made the decision to say a final goodbye to my very dear friend. Its a very hard thing to do, its only natural that we would all like to remember those special and close to us how they "used to be" and not as they were when they passed- but you see, although your friend was not in good health he was still the same wonderful friend deep inside that you always loved and cherished and even though heavily sedated- I genuinley believe that he knew you were there with him. That last private moment with him was, and will always be special, and that can never be taken away from you. There is nothing worse than "what if's" and I'm so glad that you made that decision to say goodbye to your friend- Although you did not want to remember your friend in that particular way, the tears, laughter, sadness, happiness and wonderful memories that you have shared together will never change, you will have those memories for the rest of you life and in time, they will far outweigh the sadness, pain and loss that you are feeling right now. I know that you are glad that you went and saw your friend, but if you ever find yourself questioning as to whether you did the right thing, just remember that that moment in itself was/is just as precious as all those other memories/moments you spent with him, its just in a different way. Your friend will always be greatful for your being there with him as I'm sure he is with you right now.
Sent with kind regards x
2006-09-27 12:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by allix w 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My condolences to you. My grandmas sister died, and she refused to go to the wake. Grandma said that she wanted to remember her sister how she was, not a body. My family got all over her about this, and were just furious that she didn't go to support others. I supported my grandma. It's the positive images in your brain that you want to remember. Now, had she gotten a chance to see her before she died, then she said that she would have went. I mean, think about it. If the tables were turned, and that was you of I on our death beds, I don't know about you, but the last thing that I would want to see was the faces of my loved ones. It was very courageous of you to go, for him. Your own feelings aside. Your did the right thing.
2006-09-27 12:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by frigidx 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
that's sad, yet beautiful too.
you've definately done the right thing by visiting, paying your respects, and giving that person your time, love, companionship and your presence. To often, people as they are dying are simply alone, that really sucks. Glad to know there are wonderful people like you doing the right thing!
Please have a most beautiful and wonderful day!
2006-09-27 12:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by megettingbetter 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First my condolences to ya'!!! Ya' friend knew ya' were there!!!
As a private live-in hospice/geriatrics RN...I believe ya' did the right gig!!! I've sat with many dying clients (As we no longer use the word patient)...Knowing they are waiting for that certain loved one, friend, etc. to visit...They then pass...
..."My Daughter", first born, only daughter, was murdered 12-24-2002...I'd give my life to be able to say..."Baby Girl", I LOVE YOU FOREVER and, ALWAYS!!!
2006-09-27 12:24:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really sorry to know about ur friend. Nice to know you had the strength to say a final good bye. May his sweet memories be always in ur heart
2006-09-27 12:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by Meg 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good you got the time before he passed. Some people don't get that chance and believe me it makes a huge difference.
2006-09-27 12:13:29 · answer #7 · answered by 2strongfor2long 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i will visit them
juz to say goodbye
to remember how he last look like
i will stay to be by his side when he is leaving this world coz i don't my frenz to die with his family but also me
it is sad and hard to lose a frenz
but i bet u did a good job
i am sorry to hear about ur frenz
2006-09-27 12:25:35 · answer #8 · answered by astrid 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am sorry for the loss of your friend. I am glad you did what you felt was best.
2006-09-27 12:13:37 · answer #9 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a good thing you went to see him... my grandmother died 2 weeks ago and i didn't know if i should see her (dead) i chose to do it... it's hard and not pleasant but i know she was still there...
2006-09-27 14:53:17 · answer #10 · answered by blue*dude 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋