I already have 14 year old boy/girl twins. My son and I are very close. We like the same music, the same movies, and share the same sense of humor. My Dtr is very independent. She likes a very different style of music and movies, etc..... and she is kind of a loner. ( ok, I know she's 14 and they all are moody at that age) I am now pregnant again and just found out it's a girl - keep in mind that I am remarried and the father is different than the twins dad - I can't help but felling a little disappointed. I love my daughter and loved having a little girl to dress up all cute and fix her hair, etc..but as they got older I find my son closer to me now......what can I do to bond better with this new little girl? PS: my son is also alot more supportive about the new pregnancy than my Dtr. She doesn't even like to talk about it or go over names.....she says she just doesn't want to baby sit all the time.
2006-09-27 04:58:46 · 9 answers · asked by jachooz 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
To Lisago: No, silly I didn't write the book....I am just amazed at the simple questions that women don't know....and believe it or not.they are all in the book!
2006-09-27 05:14:35 · update #1
she is going though that age in a couple years probaly around 17 (which will take forever to come ) it will get better. If you are worrying about bonding dont be just because your daughter is hard to bond with that doesnt mean your new bundle of joy will be the same. Chances are though once the baby comes your daughter will be alot more supportive than you think and probaly alot more help than your son will be
2006-09-27 05:08:21 · answer #1 · answered by Courtney G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Different daughters are different people. Did you ever think that maybe your older daughter may be a loner because she know that you two are different? She may feel left out because she likes different things than you and your son. And now another girl is going to be there. She's scared I bet. But at 14 she'd rather die than tell you. Sit down and talk with her. Reach out to her and try to be involved with what she likes. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 12:09:36 · answer #2 · answered by glitz_and_glitter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is just a stage your daughter is going through. It could also mean she is a little jealous too. I would allow her to work her way into this. If she does not want to babysit that is fine but once she sees the baby then she will probably change her mind. Boys are usually mom's boys anyways so that should not surprise you at all about your son being there for you.
2006-09-27 12:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by sunshine_gurl32276 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her about something she is interested in, even though it may differ from your tastes, and get involved. Maybe she feels like a loner because she knows she has nothing in common with you and your son. It sounds like if you don't already, you may want to try to spend some time with her doing what she likes to do. Show some interest, and it will mean a lot to her knowing that it's not something you would normally do, but that you are doing it because you care about her and want to be closer.
2006-09-27 12:04:28 · answer #4 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you have just said so much...First of all you have divorced her dad....don't forget girls are naturally closer to their dads at this time....Then you have dated....then you remarried.... and of course decided you needed to extend your family....Wow....that is a lot of things that you have done for you. I agree with the person that suggested doing what your daughter likes....try it...watch her face...listen to her...get interested in what motivates her...4 years and she is able to move completely out of your life....As for the babysitting thing....She is not your babies mother or the person that decided to bring another life into this world....She should never be made to feel responsible for her sister....That being said....My youngest was born loving her older sister...It was the most phenomenal thing I have ever witnessed...the younger one just naturally drew the older one in... They chose to be together most of the time although they definitely need their own space.... Mine rarely disagree because they are so different in age and every other way....My Lil one is definitely more mine and the older is all dad's but I suspect this will all change as life progresses....I know that I had children to be in the middle of their lives and that means jumping into their world. Good luck with everything. But I am sure that baby will create her own loving sister bonds.
2006-09-27 12:22:27 · answer #5 · answered by shelli552003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you are treating your daughter differently because you don't feel as close -and she realizes it. (I am 1 of 5 and yes, children do notice favortism and that is basically what you are showing towards you son) Another child is just going to be another barrier between the two of you - and she doesn't want the hassles.
As for the new child - each person is there own - she will have her own temperment, likes, and dislikes. Treat all you children the same.
2006-09-27 12:04:34 · answer #6 · answered by someonefromsomewhere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a look at "what to expect when u r expecting" by Heidi someoneorother................. Sorry just kidding I noticed u recommend that book ALL THE TIME!! did u write it?
I think she is being a little jealous maybe Im sure she will come around to the idea. Good luck
2006-09-27 12:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Serry's mum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this baby is a different person than the daughter you alreay have. i have 2 boys are completly different- so give your new child a chance to be what she will be
2006-09-27 12:03:23 · answer #8 · answered by staceylovesshon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cONGRATS!
2006-09-27 12:07:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lady Luck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋