My dh and I have been together for 10 yrs, married for 7. We've always been very close. But since the pregnancy and birth of our very much wanted baby boy, I'm seeing different traits in my dh that I'm not too happy with (selfishness especially). I'm back at work, and I'm still paying 1/2 the bills, so it's not a $ thing, and we have very good childcare coverage and plenty of time to spend as just husband and wife (every Sat night is date night.) Rgh. Is this permanent?!
2006-09-27 03:35:28 · 12 answers · asked by tish 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I don't know if this is permanent, but from what i understand it's pretty common. I got my dh a book called Hit the Ground Crawling. It's for dads-to-be and new dads, but it tackles how marriage changes and how guys often react to a new bub. We got the book from www.newdads.com and it was well worth the $$. DH loves it as its written by guys for guys, but helps them adjust to the new addition in their life.
2006-09-27 03:42:30 · answer #1 · answered by EC Mama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have 2,and yes, things change. He might be selfish because "he's" not the center of your attention anymore. You are doing the right thing though by making time for each other. No, it's not permanent, but babies require a lot of adjustments. He might even feel left out if you take care of the baby when you are both home. Maybe you can have him give him a bath, a bottle, read a story so they can bound as father/son also. On your next "date night", maybe you can discuss this with each other. Communication is the best thing to making a marriage work.
2006-09-27 03:49:07 · answer #2 · answered by friend 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is anything more life-changing than having a baby. It's such a huge deal to become parents, I know that my dh and I have had to make some huge adjustments.
You're doing the right thing by making time for yourselves. I think that, in time, you will begin to regain some of your closeness and love for each other. Babies bring reality with them. I'm sure you will be fine, what you are feeling is very normal and things do calm down!
2006-09-27 03:40:07 · answer #3 · answered by retro_girl34 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stick with it! Things do get better. Having a baby in the house is a huge adjustment. Your dh has to share his emotions with two of you now. Our kids are much older now and I feel like my dh and I are beginning to have a life of our own again. The kids still dominate most of our time and emotions but we can see "the light at the end of the tunnel."
2006-09-27 03:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by Luvv2travel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My marriage didn't change at all. We just grew even closer & I didn't even know that was possible. We'd been married for 15 years wanting a baby when we finally got pg.
Your husband may be going through some kind of adjustment. My husband started having anxiety attacks in my 4th month of pregnancy & they just got worse after our son was born. He's fine now though.
I guess every new dad deals with it in different ways.
2006-09-27 03:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by Michelle *The Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
As one from the other side I will say that most men do look at their wives very different after she gets pregnant and especially after the child is born. I know I did and still do not know why. We parted company and I have stayed single since. Never another child in my house. I have no idea where they are now.
2006-09-27 04:34:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR 16 YEARS, MARRIED 12. WE HAVE 3 BOYS 15, 11, AND 3. IT CHANGED ALOT. SEX LIFE, I DON'T HAVE. I'M 32 AND HUSBAND IS 40, I'M VERY AFFECTIONATE AND HE'S NOT. I AM A FULL TIME STAY-AT- HOME MOM AND FEEL THAT I DESERVE SEX 1 TIME A WEEK, I'M LUCKY IF I GET 1 TIME A MONTH. HAVING A BABY IS A BIG ADJUSTMENT FOR EVERYONE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, ALOT OF WOMEN FEEL THE SAME AS YOU. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
2006-09-27 05:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by tymiri 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was with mine for 5 years when I got pregnant and he did change with the selfishness. I hear you. He was more worried about material things for himself then me going out to buy the baby things and bills. Were still working it now.
2006-09-27 03:39:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When the right answer comes along, holler. My son was born 8 years ago, and it hasn't changed for me yet.
2006-09-27 03:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i was'nt married when i had my frist becouse i was like 15 and i am 16 now and have another but when my boyfreind frist found out he left me and came back about 11 months ago and got me pregnant again and i had my second 3 weeks ago and he left when he found out i still have gaven my frist baby and when he found out i was keeping christine my baby gril and he has'nt came back and i will never take him back
2006-09-27 04:34:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋