Why do I still long for a man's touch even though I had enough of them?

Question

The father to my children gave me hell during our almost 19 yrs and that makes me had enough about men. So pissed off that I vow never to get emotionally involved with any men again. I am filing for a divorce.

But lately, after many months of not being intimate, I yearn for a man's attention, love and touch. I find it strange when my mind tells me no more association with men but my heart yearns for one. Can someone explain? Sincere answers only please.

Answer 1

Most of us who have gone though a divorce have felt the same way and have sworn off any future intimate relationships. Yet it is a primal need we all have and a counsilor even shared relationship models with me that asserted that the need and fullfilment that comes from intimacy is a cornerstone for a healthy and lasting relationship. When that desire dwindles, it highlights other conflicts and areas of dissatisfaction. In contrast, when we feel intimacy is fullfilling and satisfying with our partner, we are able to work past and through the other downfalls and challenges of the relationship.

My advice, accept the feelings you have and when the time is right, venture back out into the dating world. Love, like most things worth while, takes a fair amount of risk to find and achieve the reward that we search for.

Answer 2

Never give up. Life is full of experience be it sweetness and bitterness. Sweetness everybody wants, Bitterness everyone shuns.
We need both to balance in life. As they say “ everything is neither totally good nor bad ”

It had been said, “companionship” and we’re just another human and you a lady. That’s our weakness and emotional needs either male or female.
From marriage, wisdom and experience are gained and we’re wise enough not to repeat it and have a fresh start again… hopefully not and if need be, why not.
Even in successful relationships, there’re always setbacks to learn and correct from.
Be comforted that you’re wiser now, learnt valuable lessons and pain too, to avoid such in future relationships? Say having better foresight?

Go and achieve what your heart desires and need for you’re wiser. Let go of the past forget the unhappiness but not to avoid and be better from the experience.

Never give up but instead tread more cautiously for a better future and life afterwards. For "once bitten twice shy . . . but wiser too"

Answer 3

Basically it is more of a desired rather attention, love and touch. Afterall you have been married for quite a long time and even though you may have been pissed off by your husband act. I believe you are actually looking for men to can traet you well, give you the attention and love you coz you may not have experience all in your current marriage.
Everybody is the same. When they have lost something, they wish to find back what they have lost. However not all the things can be found coz sometimes once we lost something, it is lost permanently.

Answer 4

I to am the same way.. don't want to have anything to do with a man but would love to have someone just hold me . and say something nice to me.. and sit and just hold my hand and talk with me.. Not talking sexual either. don't really care for that part but if i could just have the small stuff like the hug would be satisfied.
I don't think you ever get used to not having the intimate times.
something we think that we need.
you will find someone you can have the intimate times again with . with out really being with them. so take your time.. you need some very serious healing time from the last 19 years.
take care of you and all will be fine

Answer 5

Since we are baby, we yearn for attention for other, and touch is a way to show attention and care. Even you reach 80 years old, you will still yearn for attention and touch. Bad experiment on marriage will affect you emotionally, but you are still just a woman who need love like anyone of us.

Answer 6

Stop yearning, get out there in the mix There are a lot of good lonely men out there just waiting for some one like you.
GO GIRL GO!!!!

Answer 7

Don't make the next man pay for the mistakes of the last man. You want, desire and deserve love. It is natural. What you've rejected is bu!!$#!t. Good girl. Your desires ain't goin NOWHERE, mamma. Give yourself some time and look forward to good love coming soon again. You attract what you want and what you are. I sincerely believe and am a witness to this.

Answer 8

because unfortunately men do serve a need in our lives eventhough they can f*ck with our minds - just find a man you trust and are attracted to and sleep with him - i just did it the other nite - definitely needed to get that out of my system - recently split with my husband & was missing sex with a man - it's when you get emotionally involved with them that it becomes a problem - so just go make it a sexual thing where you have control of the situation - preferably a younger man too - they'll really satisfy you!!

Answer 9

is all about human urges. humans have feelings and emotions and definitely xxx urges. is normal and alright my dear to have man's attention, love and touch especially in your position now.

i dont tink you should get involved at tis moment bcos you are in a mist of divorce and i dont tink you want to jeopadise custody of your children. do you? NO! right?

maybe wat you are doing now, communicating with people over the internet should not be a problem.

be strong and stay alert as your divorce case might be contested and things might turn out ugly too.

take care...

Answer 10

I've been div twice....you can have the best features of a man..you just don't have to commit to marriage. I'm having so much more fun and a better life by picking and choosing on my terms.